Lack of things to do at work has left my mind to wander today. I started thinking about marriage and compromising. The two seem to be completely intertwined.
As I've said before, Jimmy and I are fairly different in the way we think and the things we like to do. So, we learned early on that always doing stuff together wasn't going to work. We just like to do different things. We are going on your 4th year of marriage, and are past the stage of needing to be together every waking moment. In fact, I'm not sure we were ever there. We are independent people, and that luckily is one thing we have in common.
We've reached this unspoken agreement that if I want to go somewhere and Jimmy doesn't I go and he stays home. If Jimmy wants to do something that I don't, he does it and I do something else. So we are compromising. But instead of compromising to do stuff together, we've compromised to just do what we want even if it's without the other person.
Jimmy does seem more willing than I am to do things he doesn't want to do. He's watched Sex and the City with me countless times when there was most definitely something else he wanted to do. But I wouldn't say him doing what I want is a normal occurence.
So it's not that we never do anything together, because we do. We just do stuff apart quite regularly. While this way of thinking/doing seems to work for us, it seems to back fire at times.
I know there are occasions where Jimmy really wants me to go to his friends house with him, and I don't because watching them play video games is not my idea of a fun night. But I think he would really like it if I were there. I know this bothers him sometimes because the reverse of the situation (if I'm going somewhere and I really want him to go and he won't) bothers me once in a while.
In the end I'm left to wonder how other couples get around stuff like this. Do they just drag each other all over the place?
We tried that. It didn't go very well. I always tell Jimmy that I'd rather him not go somewhere then come and be in a bad mood. I know he feels the same way about me.
So what can we do? We will never be one of those couples who can't function being apart for more than an hour, because that is not who we are.
But since we seem to be the only couple I know that thinks like this, our compromise is either genious or insane. I'm just not sure which one!
Waiting for James to arrive!
3 years ago