Keeping the Faith

Well, I lost it a little there. I lost faith that by saying no to working on Sundays I would be rewarded. Sometimes I'd be driving and think about calling Supercuts back and telling them " Ok! I'll work one Sunday a month. Just one!" One Sunday a month won't kill me right?

Luckily for me I didn't have to get to that point. The same Supercuts that told me that they could not hire me because I couldn't work on Sunday called me. And offered me the job. After telling me the week before that they could not hire me. Yeah. I don't get it either, I'm just grateful for it. My first day is on Thursday. I have feelings of excitement intertwined with sheer terror. This is it. The big time. Here I go, it's time to jump in.

I've added my video to my website. And while it still needs some work, I'll let you my loyal blog followers take a peek if you feel like it. I'd love any feedback, as long as it's nice. Or constructive criticism, as long as that is nice too.

www.curlygirldoeshair.webs.com

FYI to beat you to the punch, I know that my pictures are really not the best. Meaning the cluttered kitchen in the background does not add to the ambience. Stupid me I never take pictures of the hair I do, so when it was time to put a portfolio together I had to throw a bunch of make shift pictures together. I'm planning on doing my niece's hair and taking pictures of her not in front of a kitchen sink really soon.

Worst Critic

You've probably gathered by now that I've struggled with self esteem issues in the past. While it's better now, sometimes they still creep up. I wonder if anyone has not struggled with self esteem issues at one point or another? Whoever you are out there, you are one lucky person!

I saw this video on Facebook and it made me cry. Surprise I know. I'm emotional, what can I say. Especially about stuff like this.

I think this video is so spot on. It's like we see the worst versions of ourselves, but that is not what everyone else sees. I had an experience with this yesterday. I've created a hair website. On it, I wanted to do a tutorial video about curly hair. I hate myself on camera. After Jimmy was done recording me, I remembered why. I look awful. I was feeling discouraged and really not excited to put the video on the internet. Jimmy and I watched it together and each time I'd point out something I didn't like he'd counter with what he did. Maybe he has rose colored glasses on because he is my husband. But I suddenly felt like I was someone in this Dove video bringing myself down. Looking to my flaws first thinking that everyone else would do the same thing.

The moral of this story is that we are our own worst critics. I know, a revelation right. But this video just goes to prove it. I love this campaign that Dove has going on. It makes me want to buy more Dove products to support them, because their advertising makes people feel beautiful, not bad about themselves. If their whole campaign is a gimmick to get me to buy their stuff, it works!

Admitting

I've been admitting somethings to myself recently.

1. In my phone experience, nothing compares to the Iphone. Desperate to be different, I stood strong against Iphones until October of last year. I had a droid, which I though was just fine. Well, it wasn't fine. Not compared to what my phone can do now. After I graduated cosmetology school I decided I'd finally take the plunge and see what everyone was talking about. I see now. I use my phone all day long. I love it. I listen to my music on it, I copy and paste on it. I read group text messages between 10 different people and am not confused. I make lists, I use it to navigate every day driving out here. It's amazing. Apple, you sure know your stuff.

2. In reference to my blog post about holding true to my not working on Sundays. In the movie version of this story I would be instantly rewarded. I would've been offered the job anyway, despite the Sunday thing and all would be well. I was not. I did not get that job because I won't work on Sunday. I was interviewed at another location this week. I did not get that job because I'm only willing to work part time. I remain jobless. Yet still faithful. But a little frustrated because I want to work. I'm desperate to work. Which leads me to number 3.

3. I cannot stay home all day. It makes me crazy, and not in a good way. I enrolled Brynlee in a daycare program taking yet another leap of faith that I would be working soon. As of right now she goes 2 days a week for 6 hours. Even with her not being home all the time I'm still home. And I'm tired of being home. I need a job, a something. I'm getting ready to go volunteer somewhere just to have something to do.

4. I thought I was pretty sympathetic towards people who have trouble conceiving children. Well now I have a whole new kind of sympathy, because I've become one. 3 months of trying, and no baby. I know what your are thinking. 3 months is not long. Well for someone whose never had to try past 2 months it is. For someone who is coming off a medical procedure that I'm hoping didn't ruin my child bearing for life it's terrifying. I hope they didn't suck out an ovary or something when they did the D&C. Just kidding, I know that's not possible. But I can personally attest to the fact that taking a pregnancy test every month and not seeing two little blue lines is devastating. The shoe is definitely on the other foot. And it's a crappy foot. I liked it better when I got pregnant right away. That way I could complain about being pregnant instead of now when I just complain about not being pregnant. :) At this rate I'm hoping to not have children 4 years apart for goodness sake.

So in short I'm jobless and baby less with a really great phone. That sounds pretty funny, even I have to admit.

Last to Know

I read a lot of magazines. I try to stay up to date on beauty things, but I just discovered something that I feel like I'm the last to know about. I must have been living under a rock or something. Coconut oil! It's amazing!

It started out when we moved to Arizona. It's super dry here and my old face lotion was not cutting it. I switched to a different face cream and started getting a weird rash on my lip. It's so strange...I don't understand why it's just on my top lip. Skin is so odd. Anyhow it hurt really bad and didn't look even a little bit cute so I Googled home remedies. One of them was to use coconut oil. My dear friend Megan, who is all up to date on the newest and healthiest things of course was already aware of the magic of coconut oil. I've seen her use it at her house. She told me to get it from Costco so off I went.

It's in a big old tub, and kinda weird looking. But it smells great and works really well. I put it on my lip all day and the next day it was healed. I've actually switched to coconut oil for all my moisture needs. I use it on my face, my body even my hair. A couple of nights a week Jimmy and I will load it on the bottom of our feet and put socks on for a while, like a foot treatment. If you Google coconut oil you will see all the uses for it. So far I'm just using it for cosmetic purposes. But I'll get to cooking with it at some point, but I love how it makes my skin feel.

Unfortunately this morning I woke up with strange lip rash again. I guess it wasn't my face cream after all. Hmmm...I think it might be a certain type of chap stick I used. I hope it's not stress related or I'm in trouble. I find myself a little stressed out these days as things are not going the way I planned and I don't like that. Doesn't the universe know it's supposed to do what I say?

Trained

When we first moved to Arizona I had a list of things I set out to accomplish. One of them being potty training Brynlee. Before we moved her potty usage was spotty at best. She would go days and days with no potty usage. Then she'd use it in the morning but not for the rest of the day.

Day 1 of potty training, I put her in big girl underwear and tried to let her tell me when she had to go. She peed in her underwear like 6 times that day. Fail. Day 2 I took a different approach. I set a timer and literally every 45 min I put her on the potty. That worked better. By the end of the week she pretty much had the hang of peeing in the potty. I'd still put her in a pull up when we went to church or over to someone's house. By week 2 I had her in underwear most of the time, including church and going out. I still put her in a diaper for naps and bed time. Then we phased to diapers just at bed time.

But darned if that kid would not poop in the potty. She pooped in her underwear every.single.time. Let me tell you, I'm tired of cleaning poop out of underwear. She pooped in her underwear in at restaurant, 2 min after I took her to the potty to pee. Yes, I was not pleased. I told her if she pooped in the potty she would get a big ice cream! So that little sneak pooped one little nugget in the potty, got her ice cream and proceeded to do a huge poop in her underwear. *Sigh*.

Cut to now, almost 2 months after moving here. Still pooping in her underwear. I've tried candy, stickers, gum, everything. I thought I was destined to have her poop in her underwear for ever. Until I figured out what really makes her tick. Baths. I told her if she poops or pees in her underwear she doesn't get a nice bath. She can get a bath with no soap or toys or no bath at all. This kid loves her bath. She pooped in her underwear yesterday. I knew she had to go today. All of the sudden she disappeared. She always does this when she poops in her underwear, she hides. But this time I found her on the potty...pooping. It's a miracle. I gave her the biggest, most bubble filled bath ever tonight. I'm not sure if it will stick, but this is the first time that she has actually gone poop on the potty by herself without me sticking her on it and forcing her to sit.

Still in a diaper at bed time. But I'm ok with that. I hope that I can now say I have a potty trained kid. Woo Hoo! Best part about it, I did it myself. No one else. Just me. No day care help or anything. Such satisfaction. Maybe I'm not so terrible at this after all.

Sorry this post was literally all about poop, but I'm super excited!

On the job front...still waiting to hear back. Not a great sign if you ask me!

Taking a Leap

I find that having faith is easier to preach than to practice. I went on part 2 of my job interview on Saturday ( which is at Supercuts by the way, I don't think I mentioned that). I was told to bring a model and do a haircut. Yikes! Scary! I was petrified. Of what, I'm not sure. Failure I guess. I don't like people watching me do things, I get embarrassed and feel stupid. But on Saturday I built the bullet and did it. It turned out really well! The supervisor was really impressed and said I did a great job. Yay!

But then not yay. I put on my application that I cannot work Sundays. I told her in my first interview on Wednesday that I can't work Sundays. She told me she would try to work around it. But on Saturday she told me that her boss would not let her hire me if I couldn't work Sundays. Ugh. For my readers that are not LDS, it is against my religion to work on Sundays. We are counseled to not work on Sunday and not make others work on Sunday. We don't go to the store, out to dinner, to sporting events, etc. Obviously if someone has a heart attack on a Sunday they would go to the hospital. I try to go by the saying "If the Ox is in the mire". Sometimes people working on Sundays is unavoidable, but I try to avoid it. Really try.

Unfortunately for me this "We can't hire you unless you work on Sundays" bit is not new. Working in one form or another in retail for most of my life I've come up against this before. And I've never worked Sundays. And I've never not gotten a job I interviewed for because I could not work Sundays. Threats were made, yes. But when all was said and done it worked out. So I told the supervisor at Supercuts that I would think about it and call her. As soon as I got in the car I knew what my answer had to be. In my heart I knew I could not work on Sundays. I haven't done it in 16 years, and I'm not going to start now. In my head I thought differently. Jobs are hard to come by these days. And I really want this one. It's just about everything I'm looking for now.

Ah decisions. How important is it for me to not work on Sundays? Surely working one Sunday a month will not damn me eternally. But if I concede this one thing. This one value, what's next? If I give an inch will they take a mile? I had to have faith. Faith that if I do not get this job because of the Sunday things that something better will open up. That the Lord will provide me with something else. Or maybe I'm not meant to work right now. I'm not sure. I called my supervisor and told her that I could not bend on Sundays. I could not yield, or compromise. It was a hard call to make (as the people pleaser inside me was crying out in protest!) I find out tomorrow if they are going to hire me regardless of the Sunday issue.

I'm sure some people out there reading this think I'm crazy. There are plenty of Mormon people who do work on Sundays. But I'm not one of them. In a religion full of rules, I think not working or going out on Sundays is one of the easier ones to keep!