Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Today has been mine and Brynlee's first day home together as a start to our new routine.

It started with Brynlee climbing into my bed around 8am. After looking at my chin, we had a conversation that went like this-

Brynlee: Mommy, what's that?
Me: I'm not sure ( thinking, great, a zit!)
Brynlee: A nipple?
Me: LOL! No Brynlee, it's not a nipple

She really his hilarious. We went to McDonalds for breakfast. We tried to split a deluxe breakfast platter, but someone hogged it all. She ate all 3 pancakes, and the whole hash brown! I felt like I was trying to eat a meal in prison ( or what I imagine trying to eat in prison is like) She can out eat me in eggo waffles now too. Crazy considering she is so skinny.

We proceeded on to Target where she had a comment or concern about everything we saw. Or wanted everything we saw.

Later we are going to go for a hike I think. On Thursday we are going to go for a bus ride. It's been an adjustment, not being at school everyday. But so far I'm enjoying my adventures with Brynlee. Even if she thinks I have a nipple on my chin. :)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Tough Love

Being a parent to a toddler is so much different than I thought it would be. For sure this is the hardest time I've had parenting. I feel an immense amount of pressure to be a good parent, and to be sure that I give Brynlee all the tools she will need to go out into the world.

Brynlee likes to push things. Buttons, limits, patience...you name it. I'm constantly at war with myself. The desire to just let her get away with things because its easier vs the desire to actually get up and discipline her over and over again. The desire to be a good Mom vs being a friend Mom. I'm stuck in the middle, because I really want to be both.

But if I have to chose, I would chose the good Mom. Brynlee will make friends in her life. But she only has one Mom. And it's up to me to teach her right from wrong and how to behave in society. Sometimes I encounter other adults and I think, "Wow your Mom sucked. Or she tried and it didn't work." I don't want to have one of those kids.

So I give tough love. Jimmy and I both do. Brynlee knows what she can and can't get away with. If she crosses the line, she is disciplined. Some days my resolve is weak and I think "Is it that bad that she just did exactly what I told her not to do?". It probably isn't that bad. But I'm training her and training me for what's to come in the future. If we don't start a pattern of her listening to me now, when will we start it? The teenage years? Yeah...good one.

Each day is a clash of will. Sometimes she won't back down, and neither will I. So we go head to head and I'm happy to say I usually win. :)

I just hope she appreciates this when she is older!

On a side note, she is on a new thing about turns. She will tell me, "it's my turn. It's not your turn, it's my turn". Oh ok. Thanks for that info Brynlee. Even if she just had a turn, it's her turn again in her mind. Must be nice to live in toddler land where it's always your turn!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Final Days

My days in cosmetology school are rapidly coming to an end. On Thursday I will reach 1600 hours and be done. It's exciting and scary and sad all at the same time.

It's like when high school ends and you realize you probably won't see most of those people again. Except in this case, I've spent 7 hours a day 5 days a week for the past 13+ months with these girls. I've formed friendships stronger than I ever thought I would.

And soon it will all be ending, and for me that is heartbreaking. We all say we'll stay in touch, but I know better than that. I know that I in particular am not great with correspondence.

I can't believe this journey is coming to a close. It feels like it just started. The next step is kind of foggy for me right now. I won't be able to get my license until January ish most likely. So until then I'm just going to try not to forget everything I've learned!

I'm excited to spend more time with Brynlee. I've never been a stay at home Mom, and now I sort of will be so I'll have to get myself together. I'm not great at planning activities. My idea of entertaining Brynlee is taking her to Target...not exactly mother of the year material right here. I've got my work cut out for me. But I'm excited about it.

My final school days are bittersweet. I'm sure there will be lots more tears to come (I seem to cry whenever one of my classmates graduates, which is super embarrassing) before I'm through. But there will be smiles as well, because we've all worked so hard and come so far.

Friday, October 5, 2012

It Must be Love

I am Mormon. In case you didn't know. Being Mormon is hard sometimes. Sometimes people don't like me, right off the bat. Sometimes they say bad things about Mormons before they realize I am one, and I get angry and my feelings get hurt about all the misconceptions out there. The older I get, the more it bothers me. I'm not sure why. I guess my patience for close minded people is getting slim these days.

I love my religion. I really truly do. It may seem weird, and strange and restrictive to others. But to me it fits.

Are there people that are part of my religion that I don't love? Yes there certainly are. Unfortunately we are not perfect and we make mistakes. And some Mormons give all of us bad names.

This is an excerpt of an email my Relief Society president sent out. It came from the leaders of our church. Relief society for those who don't know is our women's group at church. For some reason it is assumed that because a Mormon is running for president that anyone who is Mormon has to vote for him. I've run into people that have asked if my church is going to "make" me vote for Romney. First off, my church doesn't make me do anything. No one is holding a gun to my head. But I think most people would be surprised to read the following:

"It is important to note that during the primaries and presidential election that the church and its doctrines will be attacked and displayed in ways that are not flattering to the church or to us as members. We need to be careful not to be defensive, but to be respectful in our responses. Not only might we offend our neighbors, but many of our own members have been offended by members expressing their political views. Our membership in the church and our worship on Sunday should be free from such opinions and conversations and a place where we rest from our worldly labors.

The church encourages all members to engage in the political process as individuals, apart from the church and our callings in the church. But it is important that we follow the counsel of Elder Perry in this endeavor when he told us to be bold in our declaration of Jesus Christ, to be righteous examples, and to speak up about the church.

The Church does not:

1. Endorse, promote or oppose political parties, candidates or platforms.

2. Allow its church buildings, membership lists or other resources to be used for partisan political purposes.

3. Attempt to direct its members as to which candidate or party they should give their votes to. This policy applies whether or not a candidate for office is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

4. Attempt to direct or dictate to a government leader.

The Church does:

1. Expect its members to engage in the political process in an informed and civil manner, respecting the fact that members of the Church come from a variety of
backgrounds and experiences and may have differences of opinion in partisan political matters.

2. Request candidates for office not to imply that their candidacy or platforms are endorsed by the Church.

3. Reserve the right as an institution to address, in a nonpartisan way, issues that it believes have significant community or moral consequences or that directly affect the interests of the church."

I feel like politics brings out the absolute worst in people. I've started a new rule on facebook. If you post 3 biased and argumentative political posts I block you. There isn't a reason why we can't talk politics with respect for each other. If you can't cooperate, I don't want to read what you have to say. It's like a 3 strikes and you are out policy!

I'm not saying who I'm voting for. The truth is I'm not sure at this point. I haven't done my homework and educated myself on the issues yet. To me voting when you know nothing about what/who you are voting for is worse than not voting. But you better believe I'm not voting for someone because my church makes me.