Tuesday, July 14, 2015

It's Enough

Apparently I'm going to just pop on here every few months! Does anyone really still blog anyway? Most of the blogs I once followed have been sitting in active for months and months and months. I guess I can't blame them considering I'm one of them. Anyhow, I had a thought the other day.

Is being just a Mom enough?

Let me back up here a little bit. I'm no longer working at Sprouts as Jimmy got a job doing medical transport ( yay!). So, I'm back to being a stay at home Mom. After alllllll my education. Alllllll my job experiences. Allllll my work I'm a Mom. Something that 1/2 the population can do. 16 year olds can do it for goodness sake. There is no interview process, and no necessary skill set required. Just, a Mom. That's where I am.

I feel the judgement. Though they might try to politely hide it, I hear it in their voices. Conversations tend to go like this:

Nice not meaning to offend person: Didn't you go to hair school?

Me: Yep

NNMOP ( shortened for my convenience): Are you working at a salon?

Me: Nope, I'm at home with my kids

NNMOP: Oh, that's great! ( underlying tone here: that's not great. Why did you bother going to hair school if you were just going to stay home and not do anything with it)

Me: Yeah, I really enjoy it most days ( depending on the day, this is an absolute fabrication. But I have to say this to make myself feel better about my choice. To make it seem like this is the choice I really wanted).

You could modify this interaction and sub the word college in for hair school and end up with about the same result.

If you were to ask Brynlee what she wants to be when she grows up, she will tell you a Mom. At first this horrified me. "Just a Mom?!" I thought. "She can be anything. Doctor, lawyer, architect, peace corp worker, president. Whatever. She can do it all! Isn't she setting the bar a little low here?"

This bothered me for quite a while. But then as I went to my first PTA meeting I looked over the long list of things that I GET to be involved in. Things that I GET to be present for. I GET to have an active role in rearing my children. Monetarily can I afford to be a stay at home Mom? No, not really. Not at all actually. But I can't afford to not be present while my kids grow up either.

I've left my kids with strangers, worked all day and rushed home to be just in time to tuck them in- the entire day gone and all I had to show for it was a measly pay check ( not nearly worth the effort I put into earning it) and a longing for the time I missed with my family.

I've realized that even though my current job requires no training, fancy degrees or credentials it is the MOST important job I'll ever have. And while it's not my dream job every day ( and can be quite a nightmare some days) it is a dream. It's a dream that I get a front row seat to watch my children grow.

I might feel pangs of jealousy as I see my former school mates advancing their careers in ways I never thought possible. Because I want to be there. I want to use the skills I've so painstakingly acquired. But there is a time and a season, and for me it's not right now. For me it's my time to be a super fun awesome Mom.

For me, for right now being a Mom is enough.