Tuesday, July 14, 2015

It's Enough

Apparently I'm going to just pop on here every few months! Does anyone really still blog anyway? Most of the blogs I once followed have been sitting in active for months and months and months. I guess I can't blame them considering I'm one of them. Anyhow, I had a thought the other day.

Is being just a Mom enough?

Let me back up here a little bit. I'm no longer working at Sprouts as Jimmy got a job doing medical transport ( yay!). So, I'm back to being a stay at home Mom. After alllllll my education. Alllllll my job experiences. Allllll my work I'm a Mom. Something that 1/2 the population can do. 16 year olds can do it for goodness sake. There is no interview process, and no necessary skill set required. Just, a Mom. That's where I am.

I feel the judgement. Though they might try to politely hide it, I hear it in their voices. Conversations tend to go like this:

Nice not meaning to offend person: Didn't you go to hair school?

Me: Yep

NNMOP ( shortened for my convenience): Are you working at a salon?

Me: Nope, I'm at home with my kids

NNMOP: Oh, that's great! ( underlying tone here: that's not great. Why did you bother going to hair school if you were just going to stay home and not do anything with it)

Me: Yeah, I really enjoy it most days ( depending on the day, this is an absolute fabrication. But I have to say this to make myself feel better about my choice. To make it seem like this is the choice I really wanted).

You could modify this interaction and sub the word college in for hair school and end up with about the same result.

If you were to ask Brynlee what she wants to be when she grows up, she will tell you a Mom. At first this horrified me. "Just a Mom?!" I thought. "She can be anything. Doctor, lawyer, architect, peace corp worker, president. Whatever. She can do it all! Isn't she setting the bar a little low here?"

This bothered me for quite a while. But then as I went to my first PTA meeting I looked over the long list of things that I GET to be involved in. Things that I GET to be present for. I GET to have an active role in rearing my children. Monetarily can I afford to be a stay at home Mom? No, not really. Not at all actually. But I can't afford to not be present while my kids grow up either.

I've left my kids with strangers, worked all day and rushed home to be just in time to tuck them in- the entire day gone and all I had to show for it was a measly pay check ( not nearly worth the effort I put into earning it) and a longing for the time I missed with my family.

I've realized that even though my current job requires no training, fancy degrees or credentials it is the MOST important job I'll ever have. And while it's not my dream job every day ( and can be quite a nightmare some days) it is a dream. It's a dream that I get a front row seat to watch my children grow.

I might feel pangs of jealousy as I see my former school mates advancing their careers in ways I never thought possible. Because I want to be there. I want to use the skills I've so painstakingly acquired. But there is a time and a season, and for me it's not right now. For me it's my time to be a super fun awesome Mom.

For me, for right now being a Mom is enough.

Monday, March 2, 2015

The Best You

Sooooo....hey there!

I'm back! For now anyway. Not much has happened since I last wrote 4 months ago. Just kidding! Lots has happened!

But, rather than re cap all that I feel like discussing something I keep thinking about. Body image. Yes, body image. I know I've discussed this in the past, but it keeps popping up.

There's been a movement to boycott Carls Jr. I love their food. I really do. But I do find their commercials offensive. And stupid. But isn't it their right to air offensive stupid commercials? You know, the whole I don't agree with what you are saying, but I agree with your right to say it? If I was going to boycott everything I found offensive there would be a lot.

I get my bras from Victoria's secret, yet I find their commercials dumb. And lets not get started on the "fashion shows"... Should I stop buying bras from there?

Sports Illustrated and their whole "swimsuit issue". So dumb. Who looks like that? Really. Should I stop reading that magazine?

To be completely honest, what bothers me the most about these things is where is the equality? Carls Jr, where are your commercials with hot guys eating cheese burgers with no shirt? Why isn't there an annual woman's magazine that comes out with a men's swimsuit issue? I wouldn't buy it ( which is maybe the root of why they don't come out with it). I don't need to stare at pictures of attractive men. What does that accomplish? But where is the equality here?

When it comes down to it, we just aren't equal when it comes to body image. Women are seen as possessions. To be stared at, drooled over and gawked at. Men are not ( for the most part, there are exceptions to every rule. ie Magic Mike). I know there are some men with body image issues. I know you are out there men. But there are not nearly as many of you as there are us. Probably because we compare ourselves to the girls on the Carls Jr commercial that you watch...you don't have a commercial to compare yourself to.

So, besides boycotting these places and things, what can I do about it? I can be at peace with myself. I'm never going to look like a Victoria's secret model. 99% of us won't. No, it's not fair that we are expected to. But to expect to look like that is NOT realistic. If you are with a guy who expects you to look like that, you need a new guy. Not a new body. Try to be the best YOU you can be. You with love handles, muffin top and a saggy bum ( Ok, that's all me, but you get the idea). At least that is what I'm doing. I work out sometimes. I eat right sometimes. I feel pretty sometimes ( sometimes, not so pretty). But I'm working on it. And I'm definitely not using a Carls Jr add as inspiration!