This day has been so awful, I can't even begin. I have a feeling this post is going to get pretty negative, so be forewarned.
Does anyone else wake up sometimes and think "How the heck did I end up here?" I find myself thinking that all the time recently. I have been blessed with a lot of things, but recently I can't help but wonder what happened along the way. I went from a starry eyed optimistic person with the world at my feet to someone who is bitter and filled with despair more often then I'd like to admit.
Today is one of those days I can say I absolutely hate my job. Hate it. Here is a typical thing that happened today. I was the only one in my dept to actually request off this Friday. But somehow another girl gets it off, the other girl gets to work in the morning when I would prefer to work (If I have to work at all), and I'm closing up shop. Why you ask? Got me. This is just what I do here. I've been a pee on for over a year now, and it is so so old.
I haven't liked my job for quite sometime, but recently I find myself watching gardeners or trash men and wishing I could trade places with them. Or seeing people running and thinking about how freeing it would be to just run at 9am on a Tuesday morning. And I am not a runner, so that right there says something.
I can't say its anyone's fault but my own. I go through life not saying what I really feel and trying not to upset anyone. If I do upset someone, I dwell on it for days and try to figure out how to make it better. I need to be honest with what I want, and I what I think is fair. I'm just not good at that.I hate confrontation and always have. Anyone have any pointers on how to get over that? I'd love to hear them!
Waiting for James to arrive!
3 years ago