Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Bad Day

This day has been so awful, I can't even begin. I have a feeling this post is going to get pretty negative, so be forewarned.

Does anyone else wake up sometimes and think "How the heck did I end up here?" I find myself thinking that all the time recently. I have been blessed with a lot of things, but recently I can't help but wonder what happened along the way. I went from a starry eyed optimistic person with the world at my feet to someone who is bitter and filled with despair more often then I'd like to admit.

Today is one of those days I can say I absolutely hate my job. Hate it. Here is a typical thing that happened today. I was the only one in my dept to actually request off this Friday. But somehow another girl gets it off, the other girl gets to work in the morning when I would prefer to work (If I have to work at all), and I'm closing up shop. Why you ask? Got me. This is just what I do here. I've been a pee on for over a year now, and it is so so old.

I haven't liked my job for quite sometime, but recently I find myself watching gardeners or trash men and wishing I could trade places with them. Or seeing people running and thinking about how freeing it would be to just run at 9am on a Tuesday morning. And I am not a runner, so that right there says something.

I can't say its anyone's fault but my own. I go through life not saying what I really feel and trying not to upset anyone. If I do upset someone, I dwell on it for days and try to figure out how to make it better. I need to be honest with what I want, and I what I think is fair. I'm just not good at that.I hate confrontation and always have. Anyone have any pointers on how to get over that? I'd love to hear them!


Jody C. said...

i understand your feelings 100%. it seems like the hard works get the shaft while the "lazy" ones get the rewards. Now I am speaking from what i see at my job. This is what i have come up with. I know nothing will change unless I change it. So I have to make my mind up, stay or find something else. so I am going to pray with fasting to help me decide. good luck and hang in there

Scott and Audrey said...

I think you should quit and move to Tooele with me! There is a house right next to me for sale and one a few houses down that's for sale too! I'm just looking for an opportunity to get a friend from cali up here :) Work sucks I've decided and I can't wait to quit. I do so much for our company and they will die when I leave and every day I feel like I'm gonna get crap from the owner for something. Like I never do enough yet I do way more than I have time to and I'm supposed to. One day things will pay off for those of us that work our butts off. You may not see the blessings right away but when it comes down to it, I bet your life is so much better than that other chicks. Maybe another opportunity will come up soon and you'll find something way better. Always trust in the Lord... he'll help you!