I get concerned sometimes. I worry that being surrounded by 18 year olds all day everyday will have a negative effect on me. It's funny how when you are adults a decade between friends is no biggie. But, when I was 14 these girls were 5....yeah. I could have been babysitting them! If I think about it too much I want to put my guard up a little. Can I really become good friends with someone who was born in the 90's for goodness sake? Who never watched My Little Pony's, or never had *NSYNC posters on their walls? I guess age is not a big deal, but I feel weird. Almost motherly towards these girls.
Then again, I'm not so sure their 18 years has matured past my 27. Somewhere along the line I become really competitive with things. I'm going to blame living in the house of Cuillard, aka the most competitive family on the planet. Because I never used to be like this. Refer to the lack of natural ability post before. I'm alright with admitting that when it came to winning things, I didn't do that a ton.
But when I'm at school I NEED to do better than everyone else. I need to finish my haircuts faster, get better test scores, receive more praise for my perm wrapping. It's really an ugly trait. We have these awards ceremonies at my school where the teachers nominate students for...well awards! Since we are considered "freshmen" we can't get these awards yet. We will be eligible when we move out to the senior floor. But yesterday we had the opportunity to sit through the awards. I was practically salivating. Every time an award was handed out I thought to myself " I want that one, no I want that one, ok I want that one too". I immediately started hatching a grand plan on how I would woo my teachers into nominating me.
Maybe I'm attention starved? Who knows. I do think it has to do with the idea of being lost in a class of 28 people. I don't want to just be a nameless face among my many peers. I want to stand out. Since I don't have clothes to do that, maybe I'm looking to academic success to set me apart.
When it comes to my class, who is the more mature one?. I'm sure the 18 year olds are not giving their peers frantic glances when one of them is finishing a blow dry faster. And they probably don't post their A+ tests on their fridge either.
On a new topic, the Rangers made it to the World Series! They were not my first pick to play there, but their were my second so yay! Lets go Rangers! :)
Waiting for James to arrive!
3 years ago