I remember when I was a teenager how scared I was to do anything alone. Take classes alone, go to the store alone. It's like when you are young being alone has a stigma with it. You are considered a loser because you don't have any friends with you.
I grew out of that though, and soon began to relish in my alone time. I go to movies alone, I dine alone, I shop alone. You name it, I pretty much do it alone. Sometimes I do get lonely while I'm out and about. I think about how nice it would be to have a friend to run basic errands with. But people seem to be busier than they used to be. Or maybe when you get older you get busier. I'm not sure. Either way, I'm proud of my aloneness. I'm proud that I don't fear being seen without a companion anymore.
So, in light of my independence I decided to sign up for fitness classes alone. I signed up for a Pilates class and a rocker board class. Not sure what rocker board is, but it fit in my schedule so there you go.
This past Tuesday night was my first night of Pilates. Unlike going to a movie or dining alone, the idea of taking a fitness class alone made me really nervous. I think it's because I just suck at working out. I really do. I'm terrible at it. I’m not athletic in the least. It's not a matter of worrying if I'll look stupid, but really when and how long I'll look stupid for. It's not a question, it's a given.
But there I stood outside my Pilates room, rolled mat and water in hand. Even though it was the 1st day of class everyone else seemed to know each other. Great. And everyone seemed to know the teacher because they'd all taken a class with her before. Even better. All day long Tuesday I had butterflies in my stomach. I've actually taken a Pilates class before, but it was 7 years ago and I was terrible at it. I hated every minute of it, and I ended up dropping it midway though because I thought it was the devil. I guess this time around I was hoping time and wisdom would have enhanced my Pilates skills.
The teacher was really nice and introduced herself to me. She asked me what I did to work out. She assumed I was a dancer. Ha. Yes, I am a dancer if you call me rocking out to my video game being a "dancer". It's funny that she guessed that, I'm actually auditioning to be in a rap video next week. Wish me luck! (I guess via reading you can't hear my tone which is complete and utter sarcasm. I'm a white girl, and I dance like one 110%)
Anyway I told her did a whole lot of nothing and she told me to just take the class slow and not feel bad if I couldn't keep up. Which made me feel better. I'm not sure why. The hour passed. And to be completely honest I felt pretty darn good. I did keep up. Yes I was dying inside and out through most of it, but I pushed that aside and kept thinking "If this old lady next to me can do this, I can do this." And I did. And it felt wonderful. I'm not sure why. You aren't likely to hear me say that about exercising ever. But I really loved every minute of it.
After the class the teacher came up to me and said I did a great job. Yes someone used the great as a term describing my skill at an exercise. That has never once happened in my life. I left the class feeling excited, tired, and sore already. But I was smiling the whole way home and could not wait to tell Jimmy about how my class went. Even if my teacher was just saying that to me to make me feel better, it worked. I can't wait until next Thursday.
Rocker board starts Tuesday. I'm assuming I probably will not be "great" at that one. But you never know! :)
Waiting for James to arrive!
2 years ago