No Turning Back

I woke up early yesterday and cleared out some of my work. I got Brynlee dressed, and brought her to day care. Then I made my way over to the cosmetology school. Yesterday was the day of the cosmetology school lottery.

I was feeling pretty optimistic as I drove over there. I had plenty of time, which is good because I went to the wrong place...

But I eventually found the right place. It was about 8:10, and the lottery would start at 8:30. I walked into the room, and it was packed! My heart sank. I counted 17 people. Ok well there can be 20,so I was ok. And then more and more people just kept pouring in.

When the instructor walked in, she commented on what big group we had. Oh good. She took a count. 29 people. My mind started racing. 9 people would not get in. What if I was one of those 9? What was I going to do?

They decided to go over the program details before they did the lottery. That way if there was something that someone didn't like, they would not register and take up a spot. As they were going over details, I kept thinking about what I could do. I couldn't come up with any idea that fit right.

After they went over the syllabus, it seemed like the instructors just kept droning on and on. I was dying! Can we just get this over already? If my lottery number did not get picked, I would not need to know any of these minute details.

The instructor asked if it sounded like she was stalling. We all nodded our heads. She said she was stalling because they had decided to let us ALL in, and that someone was bringing more forms from the office.

Ok so this will be no surprise, but I might have cried a little when she said that. Curse these emotions that I have! But I was so relieved, I can't even tell you. As I said before, I have NO back up plan. There is no plan B. Just plan A. And up until that point, plan A was not looking so good. I guess I was the only one so emotionally touched, because I was the only one tearing up. Maybe everyone else does not have as much riding on this as I do.

So, I registered. They so kindly stamped a big red "No Refunds" on my receipt after I paid my first installment. Meaning, no turning back now. No mind changing, no delaying, no procrastinating. I'm all in now. Unless I want to lose my deposit...which believe me I don't.

I'm officially in Cosmetology school. I think about what led me to this and it boggles my mind. I wonder if I didn't have this blog if I would have ever had the courage to do this. Probably not. It is quite a change. But I'm hoping in will be a good one. Sept 13th is my first day. Cosmetology school, here I come!

Insomniac

"You don't know what you've got till it's gone". This is probably one of my favorite sayings. It reminds me to try to enjoy the good times, because they are usually short lived.

I'm a great sleeper. I go to bed, read for like 20 min and then I'm out. I usually don't wake up until it's time to get up the next morning. Then I wake up refreshed and ready to start the day.

I hear people talk about having trouble sleeping. I can't imagine that! Ok well now I can. For the past 5 nights I have slept like crap. It's so irritating. Last night I woke up at 2:30 to pee. Which I never do. Ever. But of course after I peed, forget it. I think I finally fell asleep at like 4am. Ugh.

Besides the need to pee, there are several factors adding to this.

It's hotter than Hades here these days! Jeez. It's been triple digits and it's horrible. You go outside and the hot air burns your lungs. Now that I'm a born again penny pincher, I try to keep our ac set at 80. Well that thing has been cranking along all night long for the past few nights.

I have less than 2 weeks at my job now. And I'm freaking out. Just a little bit. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow I go to register for the Cosmetology program. I have been nervous about this day for the past few months. Every since I made this crazy decision to pursue a dream and listen to what my heart is telling me.

If too many people are applying, they do a lottery to see who will get in. I'm told they have not had to do a lottery in recent years thanks to our economy. See there is good in everything right? Bad economy equals school for me, and more job security for Jimmy. If they do have to do a lottery tomorrow, and I don't get in... well. I have NO back up plan. Yes I realize this seems stupid. But there is not a good back up plan to have for this. And thinking about it only freaks me out more and makes my head hurt. So, I'm literally putting all my eggs in this basket.

It would have been nice if they didn't make you wait until 2 weeks before the program starts to register. I mean how are you supposed to plan for these type of things? All the other schooling I've done you've been able to register for class months in advance. Then if things do not go your way you have time to figure something else out.

I'd feel better if they picked people based on qualifications. Seeing that the 2 program requirements are: 1. have a social security card and 2: read/speak 9th grade English, I think I've got that covered. And then some.

Or if the picked people on a first come first served basis. Then I could camp out there tonight. Nope, a lottery is what they do if there are more than 20 people applying. I'm not very good at lottery type things. Everyone cross your fingers for less than 20 people! I'll probably be the first person there. And I'm sure my stomach will sink with each new person who walks into the room.

So this combined with the hot hot hot weather has turned me into an insomniac. I find myself awake during strange hours every night. And it's really irritating!

I'm hoping if all goes well tomorrow I'll be able to sleep again. If all does not go well... then I'm not sure. I'm going to cross that bridge when I come to it. That is one bridge I do not want to see!

Clean Bill

Brynlee had her last neurological check up last week. Since my days of working are dwindling down, Jimmy brought her in. She did great! They said her small motor skills are above average. And she is a healthy and happy little girl.

Whew! I'm going to say it again. Whew! We are out of the woods. With that illness anyway. Now we just have a great story to tell about the 2 month old baby who survived bacterial meningitis and escaped un scathed.

Brynlee actually lost a couple of pounds. She is always on the go. And her eating habits are horrible now. I'm not sure what happened. I was so careful in the beginning. I didn't even give her any fruit until she was 8 months old. She only had vegetables. Now, she spits out fruits and vegetables in any form. Somewhere along the line she decided she didn't need those. I've tried to hide them in different things. This kid is hard to fool though. She'll eat garlic mashed potatoes. And French fries. Do those count as veggies? No? hmm... I'm not sure what else to do at this point then. I guess I'll just keep trying!

Required Watching

Jimmy started school this week. So now, on Monday and Wednesday nights it's just Brynlee and I. Until she goes to bed, and then it's just I. :)

I set out last night to do some reading. But thought I'd channel surf a bit to make sure I wasn't missing any great TV. I wasn't. I cannot wait for fall for TV shows to start up again. Even Jeopardy! is repeats. Anyhow, I was surfing along and there it was. This movie:



Score!!! I actually own it. But yet whenever it's on TV, I have to watch it. It's like a requirement. Jimmy usually gives me a hard time about watching it over and over. But Jimmy was not home, so I was able to watch duress free. I do this with the movie Titanic too. I'm not sure why, because I didn't even like that movie that much. But whenever it's on, I have to watch it. Even if I just watched it yesterday. And I can only watch the first 1/2 because then it gets too sad.

But back to Jurassic Park. I remember the first time I saw this movie. I was in 3rd grade and going to a private school. Our class took a field trip to Universal Studios to see this movie on the big screen. I had to sit by my teacher, and had my head in my chair about 2/3rds of the time. Yes, I was the only kid who had to sit by my teacher. Hey I don't do scary very well!

But, I loved this movie. I saw it again in the theaters with my parents, and actually watched most of it. It wasn't as bad when you knew what was coming. I had Jurassic Park stickers, I had a Jurassic Park T shirt. I think I even had a Jurassic Park lunch box.

I'd always loved dinosaurs, but for some reason this movie where the dinosaurs get free and eat people cemented my love affair with them. Except with the Velociraptors because those really freaked me out. I definitely had a few nightmares about that kitchen scene.

I still love dinosaurs now. I love learning about them, and theorizing about them. I really hope one day I find out what happened to all of them. Otherwise I'm going to be really bummed out.

Of course I had to see Jurassic Park 2,3,4 ( is there a 4? I can't remember). None were even close to being as good as the first.

So, I watched last night in awe as always of this movie. In my opinion, this is Spielberg's best work. Too bad they don't make movies like this one anymore!

The Cup Cupboard

I was thinking about our engagement story the other day and it made me laugh. I think it's a pretty good one.

I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty, but I knew Jimmy was going to propose. It was not a surprise, and I knew it was coming. Thus making his job of trying to surprise me with a creative way to propose a little difficult.

I went over to his house one day. He used to live with Robbie and Breanne, and they were on vacation. Wow Robbie just can't get rid of us. Or we can't get rid of him, depending on how you want to look at it.

I've known Jimmy since 2004, and he has lived with Robbie for about 5 of those 7 years. Not that that is pertinent to this story though...

Anyhow Robbie and Breanne were out of town on their anniversary trip, so Jimmy was home alone. I went over to his house after work one day for a little while. I had to get up early and did not plan on staying over there too long.

As I was about to leave, Jimmy asked me to get him a cup for a drink of water. He was in the kitchen, just like I was. Why couldn't he get his own water? I opened the cupboard, pulled out a cup and handed it to him. He looked at me like I was nuts. He then asked me if he could have a smaller cup. I was so irritated! I had to get home and I had to pee. I remember wondering why his large cup was not good enough. So I opened up the cupboard and went to pull out a smaller cup.

And then I saw it. There was a ring in a ring box, sitting there all open and pretty. I had completely missed it the first time I opened the cupboard. If you know me, that is not really very surprising. I turned to look at Jimmy and he was on one knee. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. He took the ring and tried to put it on the wrong hand. Boys are so funny. I guess they don't practice putting rings on girls when they are kids like we girls practice putting them on huh?

And that was it. We were engaged, and Jimmy did manage to surprise me. During our ring ceremony, he dropped the wedding ring he was trying to put on me. So funny. We got a good picture of that.

There were no flowers, or songs or crowds. But I love our engagement story. It's so us. Me not seeing the ring at first because I'm so aloof. And him not putting the ring on the right hand. We are a mess! But I can't think of anyone I'd rather be a mess with. :)

The Time to Fall

It's almost September!!!!! I cannot wait for fall. I'm even more jazzed about it this year than most years. September first, the fall decorations are coming out! I don't care if it is 102 degrees still. As it tends to be in CA.

Fall is by far my favorite season. I used to like Summer. Back before I turned into an adult and got a job. Now it just means higher electricity bills. Yay! Not. I do like that it means I don't have to match socks. Because once summer hits I wear socks like 2 times and that is it. My feet cannot be restricted in such hot weather!

I'm already planning out our family themed Halloween costume. We are going to take Brynlee trick or treating this year. I'm super excited.

This year we are going to go to a big pumpkin patch, where Brynlee can go on a hay ride and run around. Maybe even hit up a petting zoo! I'm already trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my Christmas tree, since that tiny terror that runs my house will be all over it I'm sure.

Jimmy and I did some more child proofing this weekend. I should have filmed the look of dismay on Brynlee's face as she tried to open some of her favorite cupboards to wreak havoc in. Only to find she could not open them. :) Ha ha!

My big life changing is coming closer and closer. Less than 1 month away actually. I thought of having to buy school supplies the other day and it made me really happy. I know that sounds crazy. Then I thought about not knowing anyone at school. And everyone probably being 18 and here I am 27 and married with a baby. It might be hard to connect with my new classmates a little bit. Maybe I'll hit it off with some of the instructors.

Unfortunately I find myself doing something with this that I always tend to do. I keep thinking that every problem in my life will be fixed once I quit my job and start school. I'll have tons of free time, and Brynlee will be less crazy and I'll be happier. I'm not sure why I always do this. But it sets me up for failure because inevitably school will not fix all my problems. In fact it will create several new ones. Several new pretty big ones! But I hope I'm not wrong about being happier. Because right now I'm having a kind of tough time.

I've been on a pilates hiatus. I skipped once. Then I skipped again. Then I skipped twice more. Yeah. Have I mentioned this class was pre paid? I might as well just flush money down the toilet. I skipped the one class, but then I wanted more. See, "if you give a mouse a cookie...". I haven't gone for 2 weeks now, and I'm sure my teacher thinks I probably died or something. Tonight I'm going, no question. Pilates or bust!

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

My parents read to me every night before I went to bed when I was little. Maybe that is where my love affair with books began. I loved Dr Seuss books. I think my favorite was " Are you My Mother?". I tried reading that to Brynlee the other day. While she was less than enthused, I just kept cracking up. Still, 25 years later that book makes me laugh. Or "Fox in Sox". I remember asking my Dad to read that book to my every night for like a month straight.

I still remember these books, and they bring a smile to my face when I think about them. But there was one book in particular that still has a profound affect on me today.




If you haven't read it, I insist you go to the library right now. While this is obviously a children's book the message it brings is for people of all ages.

We (or maybe just me?) are never really satisfied. Example- I had a day off from work, I want another one now. I skipped my pilates class, now I want to skip again. I ate Mc Donald's for lunch yesterday, now I want it again tomorrow. I can never just take a treat for what it is. A special, one time thing. I get a cookie, and I want some milk to go with it.

I find this in my job all the time. You do something for someone once, and then they expect you to do it again, and then some. I guess this is just human nature. And that is part of our journey here. To appreciate what we have, and not always be asking for more.

I'm realizing this more and more with Brynlee as well. It's strange trying to mold someone's personality. In her case though, she doesn't understand why she can't have the whole cooking, the milk, the house etc. I mean she is pretty cute. Isn't that all she needs to do to get what she wants? Be cute? No, it's not? Oh boy, I guess she has some more learning to do.

I quote this book all the time. I'm sure people who have not read it think I'm crazy. Maybe I should carry copies around and give them to people who have no idea what I'm talking about. Not that it will change anything. I've read the book a dozen times and I still always want more!