Sunday, May 7, 2017

How I Grieve

Well hi there! 2ish years later...we have a lot of catching up to do! But first, the reason I've returned to the blogging world:

I've missed it! I keep thinking about things that would be perfect blog entries. So here we are, up and running again. And hopefully not that once a year entry business. But no promises.

A very close relative of mine had a brush with death recently. Things were looking bleak. I'm lucky enough to have not lost anyone I'm really close to. I lost my Grandpa when I was 7. But that was a loooong time ago. So this hit me really hard. I LOVE this person, and am not ready to say goodbye to her.

I've always been sensitive. I've always been quick to cry, whether I'm happy or sad. I hate it. I hate that all my emotions seem to flow out my eyes. I'ts embarrassing and makes me seem weak.

But boy did I cry. And cry, and cry. I cried for this person. I cried for her husband who would be left a widower. I cried for everyone related to her, for the memories we've had and for the memories we haven't been able to make yet. The flood gates opened. It's hard to explain to my husband ( a non crier) why I'm this way.

When I grieve, I really GRIEVE. I feel for people as if I was in that position. When I see someone else crying, I have to fight off the tears. When someone else is sad or troubled, I have this need to help them. To make them feel better. It literally eats away at me until I do something about it. It can be exhausting but rewarding at the same time.

So while I wish I could control my tears a little more, I don't wish I was different. The world needs more compassionate people. So me and my waterproof eye makeup will just keep on doing what we've been doing.  Hi, my name is Liz. And I care.

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