Really a Challenge

Well, I fell behind on my challenge again. This was not as easy as I thought it was going to be. By the time I finish blogging about my daily topics, I don't want to blog anymore.

So, one last day for the cheap seats in the back...

Day 27, 28, 29, 30, This is going to be a looong one!

Day 27- What kind of person attracts you

Nice ones! Yes I like nice guys. I can't stand conceited jerky guys. Ugh. Just thinking about them makes me really angry. Especially since they are usually ugly and have no reason to be conceited anyway! I like guys who are willing to help people. And don't have to be asked to do it, they just jump up and help.

I went on a date once with a guy who liked me, and I was trying to decide if I liked him. We went to the movies, and he had a coupon for a free large popcorn and drink. I asked him how he got that coupon and he proceeded to tell me how he stole it. He was at the movies one time and saw a stack of these coupons laying on the counter. I guess an employee was supposed to do something with them and left them there for a second. So, my date decided it was a good idea to just take them all. Great! Who does that? And then is proud of it? And tells me about it like it's a good thing? That made my decision right there. Safe to say that date was our last.

So, I like honest guys. Maybe not brutally honest, but honest. You notice I'm not talking about physical traits here. Because to me I really feel that personalities matter most. If a guy is nice, honest, helpful and hot that is an extra bonus. But at the end of the day personality is what matters most.

Day 28- In the past month what have you learned?

Well, I've learned a few things. I don't think blog challenges are for me. The pressure to blog everyday, ugh. I don't like it.

I've learned that I like older babies. Despite Brynlee being into everything, and not eating really well I love her at this age. More than I've loved any other age. She is actually a person now. Not just a needy lump. And when I make her laugh and giggle it makes me so happy I could cry. I could just record her laughing and play it all day long. In my mind there is NO better sound.

I turn Sports Center on in the background while I'm working. I go to talk to people about the things I've seen or heard that day, and there isn't really anyone to talk to. So, I've learned that I need to find some sports loving friends, because I don't really have any anymore.

I've learned that May is one of my favorite months. It's usually warm, but not too warm. And it's sunny out and smells like fresh cut grass. And it's Brynlee's birthday, and we have a holiday. All in the same month! I love it.

Day 29- Something you could never get tired of doing

This is tough because I usually get tired of everything eventually. But some things I could just keep doing on a regular basis are:

Reading. Have I mentioned I love to read. I have a nice stock pile of books to read, and I love that feeling. Finish one, on to the next. Ah. It's nice.

Playing Games: I played TABU and won that game, played Catch Phrase and one that one, and then played 3 rounds of ladder ball on Monday and won all those. It was a good game weekend for me. Even if I don't win, I could just play games all the time. With brief intermissions to rest that is.

Being Outdoors: If the weather is nice. I love it outside. I love napping in a hammock on a warm summer day, or pushing Brynlee on the swings. I love to eat a picnic outside. I just love it out there.

Day 30- A photograph of yourself and 3 good things that happened to you this month



Ok this is from Saturday not today. I'm not about to hop in my bathroom and start trying to do self portraits again. Sorry! This is from a wedding I went to this weekend. I love weddings.

Three good things that happened to me this month:

1. Brynlee turned 1! We kept her alive for a whole year. And when she got an A+ at her well baby visit it made me really proud. Maybe I'm not so bad at this parenting thing.

2. I went for a run! Yes me, running. Ugh. I'm going to try to get into it. The last time I went for a run was over a year ago. But yesterday, I ran. And I felt really good afterwards. When I could breath normally again. :)

3. We found out that Jimmy's work will reimburse us for some of the money we pay for day care. Yay!

Soon to come: Brynlee's birthday post.

Day 26

Day 26- A photo of somewhere you want to go




I've been feeling a little family sick recently. And this is where 90% of mine are. With the exception of my parents and one aunt and uncle. Jimmy and I were able to go back there in 2009, but it's been a few years now and it makes me sad that we won't be able to go this year. I wish I could pick this place up and just move it right next door. So it didn't require an all day flight and a lot of money to get there.

I look at people who are surrounded by family and I wonder what that is like. To have cousins and Grandmas close by. And see them on a regular basis. Thank goodness for my parents and my Aunt Lynne and Uncle Gary. Otherwise it would be really sad out here!

However I'm lucky enough to have family in such a beautiful place. And to be able to go visit as much as I have. Look at this place, who wouldn't want to go there?







See those two chairs? Those are waiting for Jimmy and I!

I think that is part of the reason why I'm so hesitant to leave Simi Valley. I want Brynlee to grow up around aunts and uncles and cousins and grandmas and grandpas. I know how important that is.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I live here in California. Humidity and my hair, not a good mix! I think about how brave my parents were, to come all the way out here and leave their families and way of life behind. I wonder who I would be if they had never done that. It's weird to think about.


On a different topic, Brynlee had her 12 month well baby visit. She is beginning to level off, and is not such a beast anymore.

Weight, 22lbs 75th percentile
Height, 29.5 inches, 75th percentile

They measured her head, but I can't remember what it was. The Dr said she got an A+ though. Yay! I can start getting her off bottles and formula. Finaly! I'll dance in the streets the day I don't have to wash another bottle. Or buy another can of formula. I gave her some whole milk last night with her formula and she took pretty well to it.

She will drink out of a sippy cup, but is not real enthused about it. So I think getting rid of the bottle is going to be the tough part. She has become quite the picky eater. And has quite the baby tude to go with it. She is now rejecting most of her old food favorites. I've read this is fairly common at this age. But then what do I give her to eat? Gerber veggie dip puffs seem to be the only thing she really really wants. That and cake. Great. I wonder how long she can live off of those two things? :)

Day 25

Day 25-Who are you?

Wow. Vague much? Hmm.. who am I.

Well I'm a mess. In most aspects. I'm so disorganized. Once in a while I get on these kicks where I try to be organized, but then I end up just shoving things places. Jimmy has tried to color code my closet for me a couple of times. But it never sticks for long. I'm not a color coded kind of person.

I see these people with these nicely decorated houses, and cute little outfits and I don't get how they do that. I will always prefer flip flops over high heels. I do try to dress up once in a while, but I always feel like I'm trying to hard, and that it doesn't look natural. I own about 10 black shirts. And like 7 white ones. It's not that I don't like color, but I just always gravitate to those colors. I think because they are easy to pair with stuff. I'm not sure what to do with colors.

I worry too much. So you'd think I'd be organized. Nope, a worrying mess. Bad combination. I have a mountain of clothes on the foot of my bed. I whittle the mountain down, but it grows again. Now it's actually useful because I can hide from Brynlee behind it. She's not an idiot though, she knows I'm there. But it makes me feel better if she can't see me. Then it's like my own room, almost. Will I ever get to the point where I don't have clothes mountains around my room? Probably not.

Which leads me to the fact that I'm lazy. It's not real hard to hang a shirt up is it? No, it's not. But I just don't do it. I don't know how to change that about myself. I change it for like 2 weeks, and then the mountain grows again.

Lastly, I'm lucky. I've been on this kick recently reading all these depressing blogs. The blogs I follow don't usually update too much ( hint hint) so I've been forced to blog stalk people. I guess it's not stalking if you put your blog up on the internet for public viewing. That is what I tell myself. Anyway via other people's blogs I've stumbled upon a few that have kept my busy the past few weeks. One was a family whose 3rd child was born with down syndrome, one was a wife and mother of 4 kids who was dying from cancer at age 31. Two blogs were people who lost their little girls, one girl was 18 months and one girl was 5 months. And another was a family where the mother, pregnant with their 4th child suddenly died ( fetus died too) leaving the dad a widower. I've been addicted to these blogs. And have sat at home crying at my computer pretty much everyday. But have learned a few things too:

1. Calling someone a "retard" for doing something stupid is not acceptable. This was a habit for me, and I'm breaking it. I'm not using that term like that anymore, because it's hurtful to people and it's wrong. I challenge anyone out there who uses that word the way I used to to really think about what you are saying. And to stop saying it.

2. I'm getting my moles checked for cancer ASAP. Jimmy is getting his checked too. The earlier you catch it, the better. Obviously. Not that I didn't know that, but it's become more of a reality now.

3. Time is short, so cherish it. As I read about all these people who have lost loved ones I realize how much I take for granted. And how lucky I am that we are all healthy and together.

Reading these blogs has changed my attitude towards Brynlee. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm more patient with her. I enjoy her more. I see how lucky I am that I get to watch her grow and learn and be a kid. As she turned 1 I got my first ping of desperation. Desperation that she is growing and getting older and there is nothing I can do about it. She will never turn 1 again, and it really threw me. I think about how much those two Moms in those blogs who lost their babies yearn to feel like Moms again, and here I am irritated because I have to feed my kid and she makes a HUGE mess every time she eats.

So, I have learned. And I have changed. Who says there is nothing good on the internet?

Lots of Days

Wow now I'm really behind. I'll have to make these short and sweet otherwise this will be a loooong post.

Day 21 A photo of something that makes you happy-



This picture is old but I love it. My crazy nut baby and her weird sleeping positions make me happy. I actually call her "baby nut" all the time. Because she is a nut. Especially when she sleeps. Who falls asleep like this? It makes me smile. Pretty much every Sunday when I drive her home from church I go to get her out of the car, and she is asleep with her head flopping forward. It looks so uncomfortable. And I push her had back against the car seat, and it just flops forward again.

Day 22- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Hmmm... I don't like this one. Skip!

Day 23-15 facts about me

1. My toe nails must always always be painted.
2. I love bread. Bread of all sorts and shapes and flavors. I don't usually need butter, just the bread. mmm...
3. I have a bachelor's degree in geography.
4. I waited in line for 12 hours to see O Town once. Not one of my finer moments.
5. I have a cat named Mitzie. My next cat will be named Trixie. So then I'll have a Mitzie and Trixie. I'm only interested in girl cats, no boys allowed!
6. I love forts and tents and crawling inside them.
7. Last night Jimmy and I played Yatzhee and I got a double Yahtzee! Wooo! Who gets that? It's actually my second time doing that too.
8. I have a birth mark on my leg, and a 4th grade mark on my arm. My 4th grade mark appeared when I was in 4th grade..duh
9. I have never gotten straight A's before. And I guess I never will now. I got all A's and 1 B one time, but that's it. :(
10. I've seen every Sex and the City episode about 14 times. And could probably recite them all in a monologue right now.
11. Yesterday Brynlee flipped off the changing table, and I caught her by her leg... Scary. My heart was pounding for like 10 min after that.
12. I can put both my legs behind my head
13. I am an only child
14. I love Revolutionary War history. Maybe that is why I'm so in love with Boston. Walking the freedom trail was on my most favorite things I've done. I love Titanic history too. And Dinosaurs.
15. I'm secretly ( well I guess not so secretly anymore) afraid that Jimmy and I will only have girls. Like it will be the universe's attempt to balance out the Cuillard boy/girl ratio. I know Jimmy is afraid of this too because he so desperately wants a son.

Day 24- A photo of something that means a lot to me



My religion. The older I get, the more I love it. And appreciate it. Things that seemed kind of like a chore before have become a privilege now. And I love that. I love learning, and teaching it. I know my parents have at times questioned whether letting me get involved with this religion was a good idea. But it was! It makes me really happy. And it makes me want to do good things. And be a better person.

Day 19 & 20

Day 19- A picture of you in a mirror

This was tough! Really a lot harder than I thought it would be. I'm not one of those people who takes 100 pictures of myself a day and posts them on facebook. No offense to those who do... so it took me about 10 tries before I got a picture of myself in the mirror that wasn't blurry and that my hand was not blocking my face! A photographer, I'm not.

This is me in all my morning glory. NO make up, hair not done. I'm dressed because I had to take Brynlee to school. That is about it. So pretty. Poor Jimmy.



And I had to throw this in there, just because I think they turned out really well. See these nails below, I did them! By myself! Well with the help of my friend Sally Hansen and her nail stickers. But they were not the easiest to apply so I'm still proud.



Day 20- The meaning of your Blog name

Well I stole it kind of. From a poet named Robert Frost. His poem is called The Road Not Taken. Not sure if that is legal or not to kind of steal that. No one has shown up to my house with handcuffs yet, but maybe I've just been lucky. :) It's one of my favorite poems. If you haven't read that poem you will have to copy and paste this link because I cannot get my links to work right on here:

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-road-not-taken/

I like to think that I take the road less traveled with things. I try not to take the easy way out, or just do whatever anyone else does. Not that there is anything wrong with taken the well beaten path. Not trying to judge here.

But I like to march to the beat of my own drum. Stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone. I tell my Sunday School class this all the time. What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't practice what I preach?

Day 18

Day 18- 5 things that irritate me about the opposite/same sex

Ok I realize there will be exceptions to all these, and that I'm speaking in generalities here.

Men:

1. They don't listen. Or if they do listen, it's not very well. And not when I'm talking.

2. They think their way is the best way, even if it's not. And even if their way is stupid and makes no sense.

3. When they attempt to bake/cook something, they make huge messes in the kitchen. Like a bomb went off in there or something!

4. They are superficial and care more about what is on the outside than on the inside. I'll never forget when I was on vacation one time with Ashley. We were with my cousin and walked by a group of guys. The guys proceed to say "attractive" or not "attractive" about all the girls walking by. Seriously? Who does that? Out loud and then laughs about it with their friends. Ooh it gets me fired up just thinking about it. The worst part is, it's not like this was a group of Brad Pitts either...

5. They don't think before they speak.

Women:

1. Fake! Pretending to be nice to someone's face, and then being mean to them behind their back.

2. The drama. Everything is the end of the world, everyone is out to get them, etc.

3.Competition. Refer to my post a few weeks ago. We all feel the need to compete with each other. I'm not sure why. I hate it!

4. Lying. It seems to me that women tend to lie more than men. Maybe that is because men don't think before they speak.

5.The judging. I guess this ties into the competition thing. But everyone judging each other. It's not good.

This post was pretty negative, so I'm going to now list 5 thing I like about each sex. To end on a good note.

Men, part 2:

1. The way they smell.

2. The way they can calm you down when you are freaking out. And make you realize it's really not a big deal after all.

3. The way they are always willing to kill that spider/rat/cockroach whatever. Eww.

4. Their competitive nature. This can be a bad thing, but if it drives someone to be better then what the heck.

5. The way it feels to hug them.

Women, part 2:

1. Always an empathetic shoulder to cry on. When you cry, they cry. We all cry. Together.

2. When periods synch up together. I love that. I'm not sure why. It makes me feel like sisters in menstrualdom.

3. They cook for you. I'm lucky enough to have been friends with some really great cooks and bakers. Yum!

4. When they boys are getting too competitive over a game, other girls are willing to throw the game with you in order to keep the peace and keep the monsters at bay. Winning is NOT that important.

5. They will do your hair and makeup for you! And let you borrow clothes if you need them.

Ah, that feels better. I love everyone! :)

Day 17

Day 17- How you hope your future will be like

Oooh this is fun. I hope my future will be a happy one! I'm not sure what that means exactly. I hope there is a big house in my future, with multiple rooms and a nice backyard perfect for hosting. I hope there are a few more kids in my future. I hope I can stay home with my kids, and do fun things with them. And I hope Jimmy can find a job that he is good at but also enjoys.

I'm feeling reflective today. We are getting things in order for Brynlee's first birthday and I watched all the home movies we've made of her so far. Granted there are not a ton. But it became quite obvious that she is really not a "baby" anymore. She is turning into a little girl. I've been excited about her growth so far, but for the first time I got a little sad. Watching your kids grow is a funny sensation. It's exciting, but scary at the same time because you really see how fast time goes by.

I watched Brynlee take some of her first steps yesterday. They were not the first steps, I missed those. At least Jimmy saw them. I knew I would miss those first steps, joy of being a working Mom. But as she took her second step towards me it took my breath away. I find myself just staring at her now, waiting for her to change before my eyes because I don't want to miss it.