Under Cover

We've had a fairly mild summer by California standards. I think that is all changing though, starting with today. It was hot, hot hot! Brynlee and I usually go for a walk to... anywhere really. It gets me/us out of the house, and we enjoy that!

However today was not walking weather, that is for sure. So we went to Target and walked around a bit. Brynlee was perfect, no screaming or fussing at all. I went there planning to get 2 picture frames, but left with a whole cart of stuff. Sigh. This always seems to happen to me. I'm not a window shopper.

On the way home, miracle upon miracle Brynlee was alseep! This does tend to happen in the car. However she must have a home sensor or something. I can take her out of the car and she'll still be sleeping away. But the second I walk in my door her eyes pop open and I cannot get her out of the car seat fast enough.

So I thought I'd just drive around a bit longer, not wanting to wake the dormant volcano and all. But where to go? How about into a bunch of gated neighborhoods to admire huge houses that I'll never be able to afford? Yep, sounds like a plan.

Me, being the rule abider that I am felt quite a rush doing this. I waited by gated areas until someone was going in the gate. Then I tailgated them until I was in. So smooth! I even zoomed in a couple of the exit gates after cars had left them. Whew! Wild woman on the loose.

I'm not sure how much Brynlee enjoyed this, but I had a good time. And got out of the house and the heat, so there you go. I'm wondering what you stay at home Moms do in order to not get stir crazy in Summer time? I'm thinking that sneaking into gated neighborhoods is not on the list for most people. I guess I only have 2 weeks left to figure it out, and then it's back to the working world for me. You can all expect to see a significant drop off in my postings at that point...I'll be lucky if I have enough time to pee!

Kodak Moment

This weekend was a wild one for me. My friend Chloe got married, and I was a bridesmaid. It was quite an event! The rehearsal dinner was Friday afternoon, then we all drove down to San Diego. The bridal part stayed the night at a hotel, and Chloe and Tanner were married in the San Diego Temple Saturday morning. Then we all drove back to Simi for the reception that night. Whew.

It was exhausting, but lots of fun. It was my first overnight experience being away from Brynlee. By Saturday afternoon I was dying to see here, and by the end of the reception that night I could not get home fast enough. Jimmy took care of Brynlee the whole time, and looks to have done an amazing job! Not that I ever doubted him...ok maybe I did just a little bit. But he was super Dad for sure!






Chloe looked absolutely beautiful. I'd post a picture, but I don't have one. Not that I didn't bring my camera. I brought it all right. I just didn't take a single picture the whole time. I'm so terrible at that. Why? I've always been bad at taking pictures, but it seems I'm just getting worse and worse. This explains the lack of pictures on my blog...

I usually remember to take my camera. It's just the taking pictures part I'm not good at. Most of the pictures on here are ones other people have taken.

On a different topic, it wouldn't be my blog without a little venting, right? I'm now 7 weeks post partum, and am completely fed up with my post partum body. I will admit my body adjusted pretty well all things considered, but I'm far from my pre baby size and it's driving me nuts.

What drives me even more nuts is when people tell me I just had a baby and I shouldn't expect to look the way I did. Is that supposed to make me feel better? If so, it doesn't. Am I just supposed to resign myself to the fact that I'll never look the way I used to? Sorry, not happening.

I know it's only been about 2 months, but I have NO patience when it comes to stuff like this. Plus I'm tired of wearing the same 3 pairs of pants/shorts everyday because they are all I can squeeze my way into and I refuse to by new clothes at this point.

Come on body, work with me here!

Blessing and Others

We had Brynlee's baby blessing on 4th of July. The 4th of July has always been one of my favorite holidays, and it seemed fitting to make it even more memorable this year.

The blessing went really well. A lot better than I could ask for. There was no screaming or spitting up all over her dress, so there you go!

Here she is all dolled up in her blessing attire



Afterwards we had lunch at our house where Brynlee was the star of the show for sure. I think she got passed around the room like a little football atleast 50 times. Here are just a few of the new friends she made:









And of course some familar faces:



My poor Dad, by the time she made it over to him she was done playing the " pass the baby around" game...



Needless to say she was ready for a well needed nap. Now if only I could get her to sleep so soundly during the night...



On a separate topic, I was able to sneak away on Monday to see Eclipse. I was soooo excited, it was like I was a 13 year old girl seeing...well a Twilight movie! Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed it, cheesy as it was. Does anyone else think that Edward keeps getting worse looking in these movies, and Jacob just keeps getting better? Anyone?

International Superstar

I appreciate the fact that I have a few regular followers of my blog. However it seems my fan base has reached further than I ever would have imagined. I keep seeing comments in some sort of Asian dialect. I guess I've struck a cord with some in the Orient! Or some random person just keeps commenting in Chinese to be irritating.

Either way. :)

Being that I'm still earning my blogging stripes, I can't remember how to delete such comments. I know I saw it somewhere, but now when I look for it I can't find it. Could someone help me out here? Alternately, if someone out there could actually read the Asian dialect that continues to appear in my blog, let me know. I'm dying to know what it says exactly. Or maybe I'm better off not knowing.

On a separate note, I'm continually blown away at how much stuff such a little person could have. Brynlee's stuff has completely taken over my house, my room and my car. My closet, my bathroom...there is no question that a baby lives here, that is for sure. One might walk in and think my house is a branch of Babies "R" Us, or that I'm running an infant daycare. Nope, just the one. She is 8lbs ish and 21 and 1/2 inches long for goodness sake. Does she really need all this crap? Especially considering most of the time is she is attached to me ( or any other person who will hold her for that matter). I guess the answer is, as long as it keeps her from crying, yes!

By the Book

I've always been a rule follower. I'm one of those people who like to read the instructions, and following them word for word. I MIGHT cut a corner now and then, but for the most part if the instructions say to do something, I do it. This often works out well, but I'm fiding it proving to be problematic at times. Mainly with child rearing.

The problem is my child did not come with a tailor made set of instructions. I keep "What to Expect the First Year" on my coffee table, and refer to it about 100 times a day. Brynlee seems to be truly unique, and she doesn't quite fit the mold. I guess who does?

I think I've figured out what was making her so fussy. She was hungry. Yep, hungry. I was feeding her as much as she "should" want. "Should" being the main word there. I guess she wants more than she should, because she is just scarfing down food. Once she gets as much as she wants, she is a happy baby again. Go figure. So, my baby is a little tank. I guess until the Dr tells me she is too fat I'll just keep feeding her as much has her little body desires.

So that's the problem with by the book people. Sometimes life throws us a curve ball, and by the book doesn't fit or make sense. Then I find myself lost and confused, with no instructions to call my own.

I'm thinking this raising a child thing will be good for me. As someone who lives life so consertively 98% of the time, I'll have to learn to trust my gut and take some risks with things.

Lessons Learned

Last week continued to be a fun one for me. Brynlee started to spit up a ton. She has always spit up, but it seemed to be more and more. It got to the point that I couldn't imagine her actually keeping anything down. She is bottle fed, so I know exactly how much I'm trying to feed her and when I was seeing a large portion of that come right back I was concerned.

Her breathing seemed a bit labored, and she just was cranky. Being the paranoid mother that I am, I decided it was time to make a trip to the Dr. I figured it might be nothing, but thought better safe than sorry!

At her last Dr.'s appointment 2 weeks ago she weighed about 7lbs. When I brought her in the other day they put her on the scale and my eyes just about popped. 8lbs, 3oz! Ok so she apparently isn't having any trouble keeping some food down!

The Dr. did a complete check and confirmed that she was just fine. She's just a spitter. I was a spitter when I was a baby too, so there you go. Now when I go to feed her I make sure I have 3 burp clothes on hand...

I find myself trying to reason with the baby. Which is funny in itself because she is not the most reasonable of babies. Are any though? I think, "Baby, just let me finish my make up and I'll hold you. Let me do my hair real quick and then I'll feed you." She unfortunately is not compromising. Ah motherhood. What a learning experience these past 5 weeks have been. And it's only the beginning!

I've never been much of a midnight snacker ( probably because I never used to be awake at midnight) but I find myself grazing my cupboards as I'm awake in the wee morn to feed Brynlee. I usually refrain from eating during these crazy hours, but sometimes I'm so tired I need something to wake me up. Which leads to my next topic.

Jimmy got a new job as a personal trainer. He is super excited, and so am I. He's working at the new 24 Hour Fitness in Northridge. I see a couple of advantages to this:

-We (meaning me and him) get free gym memberships. Now I can stop donating to the gym and just not use my free membership instead! Or ideally use my free membership. Either way I won't be paying for it anymore, and that is nice!

-He has been a certified personal trainer for a while, but now is the perfect time to take advantage of his occupation. Safe to say my postpartum figure could use some work. I can put on my pre baby jeans, but they don't quite fit the way the used to. Mainly due to the dough like gut that hangs over the waist now. :) I'm sure my occasional midnight snack slip is not helping matters.
Anyhow, I'm afraid Jimmy will make me cry/puke/beg for mercy, but as long as he makes this gut of goo go away as well I'll be happy.

I'm Going to Take a Second...

To just complain. Yep, that's what I'm going to do. I'm not the most prideful of people, so I have no shame in admitting that having a 1 month old sucks sometimes.

Like right now, for example.

Brynlee is crying uncontrollably for no reason at all. I'm thinking colic has arrived? How else do you explain this complete melt down she has been having for the past 2 hours? I just KNEW that she would be colicky, I could feel it coming on. And here we are.

Maybe it's good that I'm the only one home right now to hear this. Although I'm sure our neighbors are well aware. Probably most of Wood Ranch too.

There have been numerous occasions where Jimmy and I look at each other and think, "after doing this once, why does anyone decide to have more than 1 kid?". Now is one of those times where it's looking like Brynlee will be an only child.

I realize everyone has struggles in life. We were fortunate not to struggle to get pregnant, but between the pregnancy from hell, and the baby devil screaming at the top of her lungs I'm thinking this is what I get. Easy to conceive, the rest of it not so easy.

I'm lucky enough to have a lot of people in my life willing to help me through the time of the newborn. However honestly I'm not sure how much of a help it is. Someone comes over and takes care of Brynlee when I'm at my whits end and instead of feeling better, I feel worse.

I feel like a failure as a mother, because I've lost my patience and because I needed help from someone else when plenty of other people take care of their newborns and other kids as well just fine.

I realize this post is quite a change from my last one. Maybe it's the hormones (there are still hormones running wild right? Because that's what I'm blaming my mood on), maybe it's the fact that I'm tired and have been dealing with a fussy child most of the day. Maybe it's the fact that I miss my job and how much easier life was pre baby. Who knows?

I've learned a ton of stuff with this whole baby experience. And the one thing I keep thinking over and over again is how much I admire other mothers. Especially single ones. I have a co worker whose husband is deployed and she is taking care of a newborn, a 5 year old and a 10 year old all by herself. And working full time. I've decided she is superwoman. When I start to feel sorry for myself ( like right now) I think about her and realize how much harder it could be. So maybe a little crying isn't that bad...I just hope I have ear drums left when it's all over!