Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference
Saturday, March 3, 2012
It's funny how things just hit you sometimes. I was thinking today and wham, there it was. Parenting. Jimmy and I could use some work at it. I'm not saying we are terrible parents. But we have some improving to do.
Now that the day care has kindly brought to my attention how Brynlee is not the best behaved, I find myself watching her without rose colored glasses. It's hard because I'm not sure how an almost 2 year old is supposed to act. But she is quite a terror. Whether it's normal or not, it's not a lot of fun. There are plenty of days where I find myself watching the clock, counting down until bed time. I stick her in bed, turn on some music and feel a wave of relief sweep over me. I'm not sure how normal that is.
It would probably help if I could observe other 2 year olds to see how they act. But I'm never around any so....
Disciplining is hard. Harder than I thought it would be. Not just because it makes me feel bad, but it's exhausting. How many times can you put someone in timeout? I'll tell you, a lot. I feel like Brynlee's behavior inevitably comes back to me. And it makes me feel bad because I want it to be better but I'm not sure how to get it that way. It's frustrating because I feel like I'm sucking as a parent and I hate sucking at things.
I remember when I was pregnant I was talking to a lady that I go to church with. She told me you could not pay her to re live the toddler years. I remember thinking "Oh yeah, terrible 2's... whatever". Now I know. It's so funny how it's like that with kids. People tell you things and you don't know until you have one, and then you really know.
I'm not writing this because I'm feeling sorry for myself. Or because I expect a flood of people to tell me what a great job I'm doing. Because I know I'm doing and ok job. But it's not good enough. This week has been a good one. I feel like I learned a lot about myself this week. I need to be more consistent, I need to be more diligent and I need to be more patient. Time to gird up the loins!
I am a wife, mother, daughter, friend and Latter Day Saint. I love baseball, baking, reading and sunshine. I believe there is good in everyone and that assuming other wise is detrimental to our society. I hate it when my feet get dirty and when my milk gets warm. I am strange, quirky and caring. I am me.