Sunday, December 11, 2011

A Little Fib

I pride myself on my honesty. I really try hard not to lie to people. I try to be truthful in all my dealings. But sometimes I'm faced with a situation when there is no easy answer.

I was faced with one of these recently. In order to spare hurt feelings, I told a fib. I was invited somewhere my friend was not. I knew it would hurt her feelings, so I fibbed about it. Well, long story short my fib blew up in my face and ended up hurting her feelings even more. Failure. Now I hurt her and look like a liar on top of that. Ugh.

It's not like my fib benefited me in anyway either. Honestly I was just trying to spare feelings and not build up animosity. I should have known. I did know. Lying is never the right answer. But then I'm left to wonder, what is?

I find myself struggling recently. I don't understand why everyone can't just get along with each other. I have lots of fragments in my group of friends and I don't get it. I can get along with a wet paper sack (usually), so why can't everyone else do the same? Jimmy so kindly explained to me that to want everyone to get along is to live in a fantasy land. Some personalities just go better with others, end of story. Ok I'm not stupid. I get that. But why can't everyone have my personality. The get along with everyone kind. :) Ha ha.

I've realized that I should have just told my fore mentioned friend the truth and hurt her feelings. But it still sucks for me. Because who likes to hurt someone's feelings? Not me, that is for sure. I hate being in the middle of these things, and I seem to find myself there often these days. Like a liaison between different friends and different people. But I don't want to be in the middle anymore.

A girl at school said something really nice to me the other day. She told me that I always compliment people, and that I'm really nice. Yay! Such a nice thing to say. I do try to compliment people. If I see something I like, I say it. Why not? I love getting compliments, so why not give them out? Except I told Jimmy this story and he said that I'm a people pleaser. Ouch. I can always count on him for a nice dose of reality. Which to be honest I usually need. Ok, so he is right. But is that so bad? Wanting to please people?

I think that is the key to why I find myself stuck in the middle of people who cannot get along. I'm trying to please everyone, and by doing so getting stuck in between. I'm not having too much fun there these days though. I'm brewing up some New Year's resolutions. I think one of them will to be to focus on pleasing one person for now. Me. Yeah how about that. Maybe then I'll be able to get myself out of the middle of these things.

The moral of the story is this: Fibs never work. Ever. I need to remember that next time I think of doing it. It's not worth it. And if you like something about someone, say it. It makes them feel good, and it makes you feel good too. If you are lucky they might even call you nice. ;)

1 comment:

Audrey Spence said...

Its hard to say what I'd do in that situation. Maybe the same? But if you tell the truth its not your fault the other person wasn't invited. She could be hurt but once again the blame isn't on you. So she shouldn't be mad at your for it. My mind set has changed a lot since I've lived here in UT and been married. I've been the one not invited places and it sucked but now I probably wouldn't care as much. Maybe I need friends since I don't really have any up here :) I think I've built up a tough shell where I don't care about a lot of things and most stuff doesn't phase me anymore. Its almost more fun to sit back and watch anyway. The drama is so not worth it.