This weekend was an interesting one. Brynlee was healthy for about 4 days, and then on Wednesday night she threw up on me. Again. Garden vegetables this time. Yum! I was naturally home alone, so I had to try to get her cleaned up and into the bath and get myself cleaned up as well. It was fun.
On Thursday she woke up with a fever. Not a bad one, but a small fever. She is cutting a tooth (can see and feel it popping up) so I thought maybe that was why and I sent her to daycare.
Day care called at noon that day and had me come get her because she threw up again. Ugh. Is this kid ever healthy? Her fever had gone up to around 103, so I started to get concerned. I made her a Dr appt for the next morning and had Jimmy take her. My good friend Dr Bean, he misses us if we don't see him every other week. They checked her for a UTI (which she was oh so thrilled about Jimmy said) but that was negative so they told us to just wait it out.
On Saturday morning her fever broke. Yay! On Saturday night she came down with a rash. On Sunday the rash was still there. Ok so she was healthy for like 6 hours before the next thing hit? I'm not sure if it's something she ate or if it's her bedding or what. I stopped washing her clothes in baby detergent a while ago and she has been fine. But her rash seemed to worsen when she was sleeping, which made me think it was something on her sheets. But the rash was just on her face and chest, not on her legs where I'd think it would be if it was something on her clothes.
Sunday I sat feeling pretty discouraged. It feels like we recover from one thing just to be hit with another and I'm so tired of it. I can't even imagine throwing more kids into the mix, bringing with them more illnesses as well.
I watched General Conference Sunday morning 1/2 paying attention. I kept racking my brain trying to figure out what was causing this rash. The first sessions of General Conference ended, and there was a program on during the break before the second session started.
The show was about this program called Eagle Eyes that a guy in Boston created to help physically handicapped kids communicate using their eyes. It was absolutely amazing. They hooked these sensors up around their eyes and using those sensors the kids could actually communicate via the computer. They could play games, and write sentences and answer questions. It proved that these physically handicapped people are not just vegetables. They are actually smart, thinking problem solving people. They are just stuck in bodies that don't work correctly.
One of the kids on the program was handicapped as a result of having bacterial meningitis when he was a baby. This boy had been born perfectly healthy. Now, he cannot leave his wheelchair. He cannot speak to people, communicate with them his hopes/fears/desires/dreams except via this computer program.
I felt like I was hit by a tidal wave. I started crying uncontrollably, and could not stop. This poor boy had the exact same thing happen to him that Brynlee had happen to her. I'm sure his mother would love for her biggest worry in life to be that he had a un identified rash.
I know you cannot live your life thinking of what ifs. But I did. What if I had not gotten Brynlee to the Dr in time? What if the Dr had not aired on the side of caution and decided to admit her to the hospital just in case? What if I had decided not to let them do the spinal tap?
I still haven't googled bacterial meningitis, because honestly I don't think I could handle it. I don't want to know. But here this show was, shoving in my face how completely selfish I was for being so upset about a rash. And being thrown up on. A rash?! It seems like a joke now.
To be honest I was a little distracted during the actual conference talks. But that show about Eagle Eyes Project changed me profoundly. I need to remember how lucky I am that Brynlee is healthy (for the most part) and happy.
I will continue to call/email my Dr all the time when something is off. People have teased me about this, but they can tease away. If I wasn't over cautious I might not have a baby to take care of right now. Better safe than sorry is what I say! I think I should send Dr Bean a present for being so nice to me even though I bug him all the time. He never makes me feel like I'm overreacting, or inconveniencing him. To me, he is worth his weight in gold!
Waiting for James to arrive!
2 years ago