Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Balance

My life seems jam packed these days. I think about how much time I had pre baby and it's almost laughable. Now it seems like my days go like this:

work, work, work, eat, work, baby, baby, baby, sleep (repeat)

Whew! Safe to say I'm beat at the end of the day. I'm not sure how full time workers do this with more than one kid and keep their sanity.However just when I start to feel sorry for myself I start to think about how blessed I am.

I participate in a program where I'm supposed to write to a person going through chemo once a week. So far it's been quite rewarding. Yet recently with all that is going on I've been slacking on my writing. I write maybe once every 2 weeks... and days just keep zooming by.

I received an up date about my lady the other day. Her fiancée suddenly died! Oh boy, I felt horrible. Really horrible. This poor poor woman is going through this life threatening illness desperately trying to survive. Then, the person who has been there for her through all of it passes away.

And here I am not writing as often as I committed to because I'm busy and because I lose track of the days.

I can't disclose any info about her, but from what I've seen of her through her letter to me and from the program admin she is a truly amazing person. If anyone wanted to send some prayers her way I'm sure she would appreciate it. She is really hurting right now, and I have not been much help.

I have renewed my commitment to be diligent in my writing.

But this whole experience made me really start to think. I need to find some balance in my life. I feel like I'm spreading myself to thin, and something has got to give. I'm still pretty new to this whole raising kids thing, but there has to be a way to work and have kids and stay sane. Right? Moms out there ( in particular working Moms, no offense to you stay at home Moms..) how do you do it all? And still have time for you in the end?

I'm grateful for my child, and I'm grateful that I have the ability to work at a job that I enjoy usually (although recently it seems that my enjoyment of my job is going down, down, down...). I'm grateful that I have a home, even if it needs cleaning.

I just need to figure out how to juggle all these things without heavey medication! (no I have not resorted to medication yet, but I feel it's not far off) :)

5 comments:

Audrey Spence said...

Yeah, I don't know how much advice I can offer. I could never work and take care of Charlotte. I don't know how you do it but you are a brave soul! I still look at these women in my ward with 4, 5 or 6 kids and can't figure it out. I feel like I have a hard enough time with Charlotte and now I'm helping to coach the YW volleyball which is a pain with a 16 month old that won't let me set her down. The one thing I do know is that when you take the time to put the most important things forward like doing what's right, taking care of your baby, reading scriptures and praying daily everything else seems to fall into place. The cleaning will get done (maybe with a little help from your hubby or Robby)and the laundry will eventually get clean. But its like that story in the Bible where the lady gives Elias or Elijah (I forget which one) her last bit of food and because she obeyed and was faithful she was blessed with all the food she needed for her and her son until the famine was over... I guess that's the best way I can put it. Plus when you lose yourself in service for others (like writing your little pen pal)things always seem to work out and get better because your doing the work of the Lord... man, did I just give a talk? That's what you get since I didn't go to church on Sunday and missed out on the usual spiritual overload! :)

Liz Cuillard said...

Audrey, I loved your comment! It's exactly what I needed, thank you! :)

racheyroy said...

Well, I am definitely a working mom, but so new to this I don't have a lot of advice. Mostly just want to say ditto x 10 to it all! I love the idea of the program you are in. Good for you. Here are just the few things I have learned so far:

Though I want to volunteer to do everything I can at church, sometimes I just can't and I don't need to feel bad (i.e. bringing meals to people and such)

The house may not be perfectly clean, but that is ok. I can work on that Saturday

I feel that once I am home I should spend all the time I can with Cory and Jocelyn, but sometimes taking some "me" time to work out or nap is better because the time I do spend with them is happier.

I really have a hard time finding me time because I am afraid to ask Cory. But I realized I just need to. We are in this together and we can help eachother out.

Good luck! Its tough work!

Heather and Spencer said...

I am definitely not a working mom...but I know one thing that makes me a better mom and wife. Take the me time. Even if it is only 1 time a month, take it. I play bunco with friends in my ward 1 night a month and after I come home from it, I am a more loving mom & better able to handle the stressful days, and a more loving and considerate wife.

Kimberly said...

I agree with Heather. I have a group of moms that I meet with every other Tuesday. I just joined, but they make blankets for orphanages while chatting. I am now learning how to knit. I spend a lot of time with my kids because I want to, but I've found that sometimes they need a break from me too. Praying for you and your pen pal.