Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Avoidance Theory

When I was in 3rd grade I had an idea.

Maybe if I hid all my homework in my toy box, it would go away and I wouldn't have to do it.

Well, I tried that. Imagine my shock when my homework didn't magically disappear, and I instead got incompletes on those assignments.

Yet somehow I never did learn from that experience. Even though it didn't work, and it never ever works, I still do it. I'm not sure why that is. But in my head if I avoid something it will go away.

There are so many issues I'm tap dancing around right now it's laughable. Really. I went home last night bound and determined to relieve some of the stress in my life. I made a list of things I'm worried/stressed about. The sheer size of the list in fact stressed me out more. I decided to go to bed instead. Avoidance.

I wonder if I wasn't pregnant would I still feel like this? I think I might. I'm not sure.

Jimmy and I have been working hard at having FHE (family home evening). For those who don't know what that is it's basically we a night were we are supposed to get together, have a spiritual lesson, perhaps do something fun and bond as a family.

Although with Jimmy's work schedule, this has not been easy. I'm thinking I might have to start having FHE with my cat. She doesn't participate very well though. Her attention span is worse than mine, and that is saying something. Maybe she can be in charge of the songs?

I find myself doing a lot of self evaluating recently, especially when it comes to my religion. I feel like I’m constantly falling short, and to be honest I am. I can admit that. But I can also admit that I don’t like feeling this way, and that I know what needs to be done to fix it. So this is one issue I’m done avoiding!

1 comment:

Megan said...

You know - we all have things to work on, especially when it comes to religion. Just when I think we are doing great at one thing (say family prayer) I remember the other things we are not so good at (say temple attendance or family scripture study) It is good to always be striving to be better in all aspects of life - that is what makes it all so exciting!

As for your stress - you need an outlet - you need to talk - it is not good to keep as much bottled up as you do. Anything you need to tell me? Anything about me stressing you out? Feel free to lay it on me - I don't mind!

I am hoping I will get to see you this weekend - we will see if I get the good to go from the doc this week and next!