They say we are ready. But I don't feel ready. I've always been like this. Some people in my class are really excited, and ready to dive in head first. Not me. I'd be happy to stay in the hairstyling shallow end for a while. Until I really feel comfortable with what I'm doing. But this is how I am. I was like this when I started waitressing. And I did really suck in the beginning. But then I got better. And I was like this when I got back from travel agent school. And I sucked at that too. But then I got pretty good.
I hate sucking. I hate having to be bad at something. I hate feeling inadequate. Practice makes perfect. But I don't want to practice, I just want to be perfect. Can't it work that way? No? It's funny because I can't think of a single time I actually sank when it was sink or swim time. I might have had some trouble, and might have gone under a bit but I've always come out swimming.
If it was up to me I'd probably practice for the next 5 months. So I need someone to shove me out there. I need someone to help me see what I'm capable of. Otherwise I'd never figure it out for myself. I'm grateful for this opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and see what I'm made of. Old ladies that go to Simi Valley Beauty School, here I come! :)
On a different note, I find myself alone with Brynlee a lot these days. It still amazes me how she can take a clean room and make it a complete and utter disaster in 20 seconds flat. So I've tried to come up with creative ways to keep her entertained so she doesn't constantly destroy my house.
This was Monday nights attempt:
A fort! We had a lot of fun in this thing. I also realized that I have no sheets. That is why we had to make a fort out of a fleecy blanket. Which led to some pretty crazy staticy fort hair!
We had fun in our fort, but Mitzie enjoyed it more than anyone! She was having the time of her life in there.
After we played in the fort, we watched a movie with Robbie and Garrett. Brynlee decided to enjoy a mid movie snack... some toes! Of course she had to rip off her socks to get to them, which is no problem at all.
Mmmm! She had a good time sucking on those things. At least it kept her out of trouble for a few min.
Some other troublesome instances of note within the past week:
-Came home to find Brynlee coloring all over the floor, book case and her face with a pink highlighter. Jimmy was supposed to be on baby duty for that one... Luckily the highlighter came off the floor and the bookcase really well. It took a while to get it off her face.
-Found Brynlee wondering around the house with a big old pair of scissors...yikes! Not sure where she found those.
-Went to check the mail and walked in the room to find Brynlee naked trying to shove her diaper in the diaper genie. She did have Pajamas on at one point, but who knows where those ended up.
*sigh*. She keeps me on my toes, that is for sure!
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