How Did I Get Here?

You know those things you see people do ( especially parents) that are so completely obnoxious you want to die? You think to yourself, I'll never do that. Or even better, I'll never let my kids do that? Yeah. I said that too at one point. The tune I'm singing is a little different now.

When I waitressed at Chili's we had this family that would come in. NO ONE wanted them. They had 2 little kids that were terrible. They would tear about the table and make the biggest mess you've ever seen. Dumped out salt and pepper, sugar everywhere, ketchup everywhere. Food and trash all over the floor. And they left the crappiest tip-totally not worth the 1 hour you spent after they left attempting to put the table back together.

Well I haven't gotten that bad- I still work really hard to make sure my kid doesn't destroy tables at restaurants ( when we go, which is never LOL). But as I walked through Walmart distractedly talking on my phone as Brynlee ran a muck up and down the aisles I had a moment. What was I doing? I HATE people who talk on their phone all the time- sorry if this is you. But I can't hang. People who are on their phone in line at the store, people who are on their phone in drive thrus. Maybe it comes from being a cashier and being completely ignored by people who where on their phones while I rang them up. I just think it's rude. And irritating. I really don't want to hear your loud one sided conversation while I wait in line. I really don't. Anyway you could wait like 3 min and talk loudly in your car ( because that is actually legal here)? Thanks!

Yet here I was. One of those people. Brynlee was wreaking havoc and instead of trying to corral her in I thought, "hey this is Walmart. If you can't run a muck here, where can you run a muck?". I think everyone thinks that-which is why Walmart is the way it is! I've gotten to the point where I expect my kid to make a huge mess, expect her to say rude things to people and expect her to not listen. How did this happen? I've become desensitized. Maybe I'm tired ( ok, no maybe about it). Maybe I've given up the little stuff. Maybe I realized kids don't act like they do in TV shows. You know, how the characters have kids who play quietly by them selves and never make a mess and do exactly what they are told. Turns out real kids aren't actually like that! Reba and Friends/, you sold me a lie!

Either way, I hate the parent I've become. Just because it's hard doesn't mean I can just give up on disciplining my child and let her go wild. Hoping it's just a phase that will pass is not a good parenting style. Give me a few months and I may be as bad as that dreaded family who came into Chilis! That is assuming we actually go out to eat again. I'm not sure how I got here. But I can't stay here. Next time I go to Walmart my child will not run wild up and down the aisles. Even if I have to leash her to me ( which by the way I was totally against until I had kids, LOL).