The Trade Off

I can't help but compare Claire to Brynlee at this age. Things are so different this time around it feels like Brynlee was born 100 years ago rather than 4. I feel much more prepared to take care of a baby this time. But one of the main things is that I'm not working.

I'm not stressed about where Claire will go in 7 weeks when I go back to work. I won't have to try to juggle being a full time employee and Mom. I won't feel the guilt of dropping my baby off at day care ( worst. feeling.ever). I can go on field trips with Brynlee's school. And will be able to take care of my kids when they are sick with no worry about missing work.

This does come at a cost though. Jimmy works really hard to make this happen. Really really hard, including long hours to accrue overtime pay. I'm not a huge fan of discussing money, buy money is TIGHT. Trying to make ends meet is stressful, just a different kind of stress than trying to juggle the tasks of being a working Mom. I'm constantly confronted with things I'd like to buy ( and in some cases things we really need to buy) with money that's not there. A new car, vacations, gadgets. It's a definite trade off.

I'll definitely go back to work one day. I miss working ( for pay) and getting out and meeting people. Once my kids are in school full time I'd like to work part time. Ideally I'd assist for an awesome hair stylist and hone my skills. In my head that's how things happen anyway.

So the question comes to mind, is this trade off worth it? Is a "lesser" quality of life worth being home to take care of my children? My answer depends on the day...just kidding. Mostly. :) Right now, I say yes. I'm excited to be there for the milestones with Claire that I missed with Brynlee. And to be there with Brynlee as she reaches new milestones.

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