We've Come so Far

I can't believe it's only been about 5 months since Brynlee was born. It feels like it was an eternity ago.

Here she is about 1 week old:





I look back at this time, and I'll be completely honest. It was awful. I was trying to breastfeed and it wasn't working, I was more exhausted than I thought physically possible and just wanted to cry all the time. I've never felt so trapped in my life.

I think it was just the normal post partum blues, but it hit me really hard. I remember when Jimmy would leave for work everyday I would be terrified. I was like a child whose parent's were dropping them off at school. I'd cling to him and beg him not to leave me. I didn't want to be alone with the baby. Not because I'd hurt her or anything, but just because I didn't know what to do with her.

No matter how many books you read, or how many people you talk to nothing prepares for those first couple of weeks (or months) I think. It really forced me to grow up overnight, and realize that my time was no longer my own. It now belonged to at tiny 6lb 13oz crying, pooping, eating machine.

But as Brynlee got more familiar with her new surroundings, I got more familiar with her. Somewhere along the line it stopped being just sheer work and started to become fun to take care of her.

I'm not saying it's all peaches and cream now, quite the contrary. But it's so much better than it was. Poor Brynlee got to blaze the trail with me as her Mom, something I'm sure her future brothers and sisters will appreciate.

Now, she rolls over from back to front all the time. Still not quite rolling over from front to back ( I know, that is strange).

She still HATES tummy time. To the point that after a few minutes or so she works herself into such a frenzy that it takes an hour to calm her down.

She smiles and smiles and smiles. Usually. If you get her between 6:30 to 8 ish or so when it's close to bed time you might not get a smile. You might get screaming instead...

She absolutely loves her Dad. Loves him. And she is pretty fond of her Uncle Robbie too.

I do thoroughly enjoy dressing her up. Even if her flower is as big as her head. Jimmy calls this one the "peacock". No question she is a girl when she is wearing this flower, you can't miss it!



Here she is having some Uncle and me time.



She actually enjoys her baths and being changed now. Thank goodness. I thought we were never going to get there. She used to scream bloody murder any time a shred of clothing was removed from her.



Since she was born around the beginning of summer, I didn't have much time to dress her in cold weather clothes. Now I'm enjoying putting little socks and hats on her. She wasn't too fond of the hat at first. She does have quite a large head! But after the hat stretched out a bit she seems to not mind. It's a good thing because she looks too cute with one on!