Test Day

As my state board test rapidly approached I felt all sorts of emotions. Dread, nerves, excitement. Sometimes I'd feel like I was going to pass just fine, then I'd feel like there was no way I was going to pass.

To say I put a lot of time into studying and effort into this is a huge understatement. I paid a private tutor, I spent hours and hours going over the material. Yesterday was the big day.

So of course that means that Tuesday night I woke up with a nice case of food poisoning! I spent all day Wednesday in a ball begging for mercy. Great! On Wednesday night I started feeling a little better. I didn't sleep at all on Tuesday night because I was dying, and on Wednesday night I was too nervous to really fall asleep and stay asleep.

(On a side note, I used to be the best sleeper. I always felt bad for those people who had to take medication to sleep, or had sleep issues. Now I am one of those people. By the time I finally fall asleep I can never stay asleep and it sucks really bad.)

Luckily for me, 3 other girls from my class had the same test date so I wasn't alone. We had to be to the testing facility by 6:45am. We had to do our practical part first, which is where you have to perform procedures in front of an instructor. There were about 32 people there total, 8 groups of 4. Each group of 8 was in a separate room together and had 1 instructor. I walked into my room and saw that my instructor was not all about warm and fuzzies. She was stone faced and didn't smile one time. I was a big ball of nerves, fatigue and pressure. I kept dropping my comb, dropping my clips. Just dropping things. It was almost comical. A couple of the procedures I didn't even get to finish. Luckily I wasn't the only one, but still. I left that part of the test not feeling real great.

The next part of the test was the written part. You'd be surprised what cosmetologists have to know! Chemistry, anatomy, skin diseases and disorders, nail disorders. Those are just some of the subjects. It's a ton of material to study, and I did my best. There are different versions of the test, and you are not sure which one you will get. So you literally have to just study everything. I had a ton of nail questions on my test, which is not my best subject at all. I left that part of the test thinking there was no way on earth I passed. I'd be lucky to pass 1 portion. I called Jimmy and started crying, not sure what else to do.

The worst part about all of this is then you have to wait 2 hours for them to tell you your results. So we all just waited, and waited and waited. Maybe the waiting is not the worst part of the experience. Because the way they tell you if you passed is pretty awful to. All 32 people went back into a room. A man walked in with a stack of papers and said he was going to call the people with licenses first. And he just starts randomly calling names. He called the first few names. I was willing him to call mine. Praying, using Jedi mind tricks, anything. He kept calling names that were not mine. And calling them. Girls got up all around me to get their licenses, excited and giddy. I just sat there with my stomach in a knot. Until he did call my name. Yay!!!!!!

I passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I might have started crying then a little bit too. I'm a crier, it's just who I am. Especially when I've had no sleep and when there was so much weighing on me passing this test.

Before I took the test I kept telling myself it wasn't a big deal if I didn't pass. I could just re take it. But it would've been a big deal. When all is said and done I spent $500 on that test and study materials. I worked my but off for 13 months in school, and our family made huge sacrifices so I could do that. All of the blood, sweat and tears was resting on this one five hour test. But I passed.

All four of us did. It was the best possible outcome and a perfect ending to the most nerve racking day of my life. I went to bed last night at 7:30pm ( no joke) and slept until 8am this morning. I put my license right in front of me, so it was the first thing I saw this morning. And it was a beautiful sight.

In case you are wondering, yes we were advised to wear all black. State Board is not a place you want to stand out, so wore black to just blend into the crowd.

Rough Estimate

We have medical insurance through Kasier. I've had Kaiser for a long time, and I love it for the most part. It's like a nice one stop shop where I can get everything I need done.

I've had really good experiences with Doctors there too. With the exception of the one who basically called me fat and told me I need to "watch it" when I gained like 7lbs when I was 4 months pregnant with Brynlee. Don't even get me started on that guy. Word of advice, don't ever call a pregnant woman fat.

And then there was Dr Been, the pediatrician who literally saved Brynlee's life. I LOVED him, and am still sad that he moved away.

Before and during my D&C my gynecologist Dr Sandborn was amazing as well. He was really helpful, really honest and I felt he truly cared about my well being. He was the one who basically told me I needed to get a D&C as any other option would have been detrimental to my mental and physical health. I have no doubt that was the right choice.

Before I got that procedure done, I needed to figure out how much insurance would cover. I was quoted an out of pocket price of around $360 or so. High yes. But you can't put a price on mental health. When we check into the hospital I was again told the price of $360. The procedure went off without a hitch and I'm fully recovered as far as I can see.

Until we got a bill for this procedure in the mail. Long story short, instead of the $360 ish price I was quoted we are being charged $1000 ish. My eye balls popped out of my head when I saw that one. Turns out the "estimate" I got didn't include a ton of hidden fees, ie recovery room usage (wtf?), etc. I promptly called Kaiser to tell them I only opted to get this procedure done because I was told it would be $360 ish. Maybe $500 at most. Not double that. What is the point of an estimate if the actual cost is more than double the cost? Maybe you can put a price on mental health after all!?

So now I do have a doubt that that procedure was the right choice...I'm glad I got it done. But if I'd known it was that expensive I probably would not have done it. I wrote a scathing letter to Kaiser. I'm not holding my breath for any kind of retribution. Luckily they have a payment plan that is interest free.

The saddest part about this is when I had Brynlee it cost $500. That's it. Now I'm having to pay double that and I don't even get a baby out of it!

Looking at the bill, the D&C procedure was $10,000. About $9000 of that my insurance covered. Maybe it's not the best insurance, but at least I have insurance at all!

Lesson learned here. You better believe I'm going to think twice the next time I get a "estimate" on a medical procedure!

Facebook Depression

As I was browsing my morning Yahoo stories ( my version of reading the newspaper) I stumbled upon this one.

www.totallifecounseling.com/2011/02/is-facecrack-making-you-depressed-3-tips-for-coping-with-facebook-depression/


I found this really interesting. Because there have been times when going on facebook has depressed me. I am a frequent facebooker. I like that is allows me to keep in touch with people I would not normally keep in close touch with. I can see what's going on in peoples lives with a click of a button.

But it's dark sides are evident as well. I feel like every time I'm on there it's an online version of keeping up with the joneses. Whose kids are cuter, who looks better in a bathing suit, who has a bigger house. Whose vacation was better, who made the best meal for dinner.

This article has 3 tips on how to cope with facebook depression and I thought it was really helpful. And made a lot of sense. It's easy to look on facebook and think that everyone else's life is great and yours is not. But people put their best image on facebook. It totally makes sense. I knew a couple on the brink of divorce and they would constantly tell each other how much they loved each other on facebook. Just looking online you'd think they had the perfect life. Far from it.

I've deactivated my facebook account before. It was quite liberating. But I missed knowing what was going on with people. And getting and receiving helpful info. Thanks to facebook I know what to do if I find an injured animal, how to potty train my kid and that Nevada has DMV kiosks in the grocery store. It really is a wealth of knowledge. But it does come at a price if you end up losing sight of things that really matter.

Take a peek at the article. Even if you never find yourself facebook depressed I think you'll enjoy it.

Dentist Delight

I have something to confess. It's really awful, and embarrassing. I haven't been to the dentist since...2008! Ahhhh!!! I know. We've had dental insurance the whole time, and I just didn't go. I decided it was time to pay the piper. I made appointments for the whole family, Brynlee included.

I'm really strict about her teeth. She rarely gets juice, and if she does is super watered down. She doesn't eat a ton of candy, I try to keep that in check. She has a total sweet tooth, so if I didn't monitor it she would just eat candy all day. I wasn't sure what the dentist was going to be able to do with her, but I figured a peek in her mouth and getting her accustomed to going to the dentist was a good idea.

I went first, so she could see me riding in the fun chair. She was so excited about that chair. My appointment went really well. No cavities. Yay! I was blessed with really really strong teeth. I've had maybe 1 cavity in my life I think. And it was a small one. I was not blessed with straight teeth, but thanks to the miracle of orthodontics and my parents (thanks mom and dad!) I now have straight strong teeth.

When it was Brynlee's turn she was very excited. She opened her mouth for the dentist and even let him poke at her teeth a bit. He said it all looks good. I was even able to see a few new molars coming in! Maybe that is why she gets so sassy.

I'm determined to not it let it be another 5 years before I go back to the dentist. My parents always really encouraged me to take good care of my teeth, and I want to do the same for Brynlee. All and all, it was a delightful day at the dentist for us!

Hot Flashes

Does anyone else get really hot when they are mad? Or sad? Or upset? Or stressed?

I wonder if it's just me. I get a heat flash whenever I experience an emotion other than happiness it seems. With doing hair if I think I've messed something up I'll suddenly get really hot. Or at work when I think I forgot to put in an order or something I'll start sweltering.

In this case it seems to happen whenever I find out someone else is pregnant. My stomach drops, I get hit with a sudden heat flash and an irrational wave of jealousy spreads over me. I look/read/hear their due date and think oh they are due after I am. But I'm not due anymore. Because I'm not pregnant anymore.

I wonder how long this feeling will last. I hope not much longer, because I don't like it at all.

I got my cosmetology test date, it's Jan 31st. Finally! I got a hot flash when I heard that date too. Because what if I don't pass? There is so much you have to know and memorize. What if everyone else passes, and I don't. What if I went to school and did all this work and we made all these sacrifices for nothing. Ugh. I have a lot of studying to do. When I look at my book I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start.

Today was the first day we have had in a while that was actually warm out. It was so nice! 75 degrees and clear skies. Brynlee and I went to the park with a few other people, and even got an ice cream from the ice cream truck. When the ice cream man asked what everyone wanted, Brynlee marched up there and told him "I want a chocowate ice cweam pwease." Hey at least kid knows what she wants. Our California weather right now is the one hot flash I'm actually enjoying.

Wrap Up

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! I've been MIA for a while. Things got pretty crazy there.

Christmas was great! As usual it zooms by way to fast. When I asked Brynlee what she wanted for Christmas she kept telling me " Band-Aids for my boo boo". No I do not beat my child. No she is not covered in boo boos. She is just in love with band-aids, and I'm not sure why. I guess this is pretty common. Anyhow Santa did bring her band-aids, among many other things. Roller skates, toys, doll houses, stuffed animals. But true to her word she was over the moon about her band-aids. Crazy kid.

Brynlee's school was closed the week between Christmas and New Years, so we had a lot of time together. It was fun, but I'd be lying if I said that this morning when I brought her to school I was not just a little bit excited. Oddly enough though I've missed her all day. I know, never satisfied.

I had a really fun laundry experience the other day. With last week being Christmas I'd let laundry pile up and up. I had loads and loads to do on Thursday, so I set out to our little complex laundry room with Brynlee in tow. As Brynlee tends to do, she started wreaking havoc in the laundry room so I tossed my loads into the washers as quickly as possible and took her home. When I went to changed the load I put the first one in the dryer. I went to put the second load into the dryer and I noticed little gel like things all over the clothes. I pulled them out and realized with complete horror I'd washed a diaper with Brynlee's clothes. Ahhh!!!!

In case you don't know what the inside of the diaper looks like, I challenge you to take a peek. Get it wet, and then cut it open. You'll find all sorts of little beady gel particles. That get EVERYWHERE. I wasn't sure what to do. I took the clothes out and brought them home. But there was still handfuls of this goopy gel all over the dishwasher. I desperately cleaned out the washer, trying to hide any evidence of what I'd done. I had to shake out each piece of clothing inside and out to get all the stuff off, and then ran it through the washer again. Which then broke down. Probably due to my diaper fiasco. Ooops. Yeah. All the while I had Brynlee continually asking me " Mommy, what are you doing?" The washer is now fixed, and I've learned to check the clothes I'm tossing into the washer a little better.

New Year's Eve I had to work, so it was not the most exciting one I've ever had. I'm getting over a cold too, so I came home from work, rang in the New Year and went to bed. Party!

So here we are in 2013. It's crazy. I love the start of a new year. It's like anything is possible. Who knows what the next year will bring. Maybe I'll have a baby this year. Or have my own house. Or travel to somewhere I've never been. I'm excited to see what milestones Brynlee will reach in 2013. One of them being potty training, so I won't wash anymore diapers on accident. :)

Happy New Year, I hope 2013 treats us all well!

Why God Created Sister in Laws

Jimmy's sister Nancy came to visit yesterday. She lives in San Diego, so we don't see her a ton but it's always fun when she comes to town. Brynlee loves her, and gets super excited when she knows she is coming. Brynlee kind of says her name like " Nasty" though. Hopefully we can break that habit.

Here is a conversation Nancy and I had last night.

As I'm trying to get ready for work-

Nancy: Do you get hit on a lot?
Me: Uh, no. Never actually.
Nancy: Oh well I was just watching you, and you're really pretty!
Me: Well thanks!
Nancy: You just must give off that "I'm unavailable vibe"
Me: Yeah...that must be it. Sure.

See you need a sister in law to tell you stuff like that! ;)

Thanks Nancy, you can come over anytime!