2 Months

Last week, Brynlee officially turned 2 months old! Funny how she had her 2 month birthday right across the hall from where she was actually born. Well I guess that is not so funny...

Anyhow I cannot believe how much she has grown. I guess I don't notice it too much because I see her every day, but when I look at pictures of her from a month ago it's crazy.

She is now 10 lbs 8 oz! I think she is the only baby in history to actually gain weight in the hospital. But she certainly has. Jimmy and I call her "Tank Baby" because she is really starting to chunk up. Tessa thinks we are giving her a complex, but I'll stop calling her tank once she is old enough to know what I'm saying. :)

She is about 24 inches now I think. They measured her when they admitted her to the hospital, but I was too distracted then to see exactly what she was.

Just in the past few weeks her personality has really changed. She doesn't need to be held quite so much anymore. She likes to lay down and do her baby aerobics. She flings her arms and legs all around for about 45 min after every meal now. Maybe calling her a "tank" has given her a complex and she is trying to work off her food? Who knows.

She is really smiling now! And it melts my heart every time. She has especially paid notice to all the pediatricians who come in and out of the hospital room. She is starting her flirtation with doctors at a young age ( it's never too early to train them right?).

I've packed up all my newborn clothes for next time. If there is a next time, and if next time is a girl. It kind of bummed me out! So many cute little outfits she can't fit into anymore.

I am really enjoying her at this age though. She doesn't seem so fragile anymore. And she is much better at entertaining herself (who knew staring at an IV machine for hours on end could be so exciting?). She also entertains me in the process.

Lastly, I'm going to jinx myself here I just know it. But I'm going to brag a bit about what a good night time sleeper she is. She will sleep in her crib for like 6 hours before waking up to eat. Then I feed her and stick her back in her crib even if she is not asleep, she will go back to bed. Usually. Most of the time. We have our rough nights now and then, but for the most part I don't even need to rock her!

My friend has a 6 month old baby who still wakes up to eat at night every 2 hours! And she is even on formula. Just thinking about that makes me yawn!

Witness!

Jimmy and I received witness subpoenas in the mail today! I never thought I'd be so excited to receive something like that. But they've called us to be witnesses in the case against the man who stole Jimmy's car.

I guess it's not very Christ like of me, but I really want him to rot in jail for a LONG time!

All the grief and worry he caused us...ugh. And it's not like he and his trashy friends left the car undamaged either. There are cigarette burns and stains all over the seats. Really, how hard is it to put a cigarette out in an ashtray? And every possession Jimmy had in there is gone. So it will be nice to see this guy face to face as they lock him up.

Except I have a problem. Work. Ah yes, my ride on the maternity leave express is coming to an end. Now not only do I have to worry about getting a date off, but I have to worry about a sitter for Brynlee as well. So there is a good chance if I don't have to I might not go to the hearing. They don't really need both Jimmy and I there right? It sure would be fun though. Unlike the last time I had to go to the courthouse to serve jury duty and was never picked.

Brynlee is still doing well in the hospital. I, on the other hand am not. I've started talking and singing to inanimate objects in the hospital room. The nurses come in to check up on us and I ask them to sit and stay a while because I'm so desperate. People are not meant to be kept in a room for hours and hours on end. By the end of the day I have some serious brain pain. Safe to stay I'm starting to go a little nuts.

Poor Brynlee is starting to go nuts too I think. She hasn't seen the outside world for almost 2 weeks. And she is chained via IV to this one corner of the room as well. Bless her heart she has been a trooper, but the lack of stimulation is wearing on her.

For anyone who is curious, trying to entertain a 2 month old in a crappy hospital room for lengthy periods of time is not pleasant. But at least she is getting better, and we are counting down until we can put this all behind us. 3 and 1/2 days to go!!!

This month has not been a great one for us all things considered. It's usually one of my favorites, but this year I'm happy to say " Peace out July!".

It's a Good Thing

I always tease Jimmy about being the "tin man". He seems to show little emotion about things most of the time. Except on occasion some anger. I'm not sure how he does it, but it seems to run in his family soo... I guess it's a Cuillard thing? It's not that he doesn't feel things, he has just mastered the art of keeping it in check. Me, not so much.

Anyhow, I've never been so happy to have a husband who has his emotions under control. Since they constantly have to keep poking at my poor baby, I'm constantly in emotional distress. Whether they are moving her IV, or drawing her blood. After almost a week of it all I'm so done.

We've kind of gotten a routine now that Jimmy is present for all these un pleasantries so he can hold Brynlee, and then he calls me when they are all done. I mean me being in there sobbing doesn't really help anyone, right?

Jimmy was at work for the second spinal tap they had to do, so I tried to step up. I was sobbing so hard before they even started that the Dr said it would probably be best for me to wait in the hall. You don't have to tell me twice! You know it's pretty bad when the Dr is kicking you out...

So I went out in the hall and sat next to the security guard balling my eyes out. It was a bonding experience, he is now my favorite security guard.

She should be done with the spinal taps now though, thank goodness. I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy. Everyone keeps telling me that she won't remember this. However I'll be traumatized for life and so will everyone else who has been involved thus far. I guess Brynlee is the lucky one as far as that is concerned!

With regards to the traveling IV, it's now in her foot. So, we've had head, arm and foot. They said this vein is a really good one though, so hopefully it can just stay there and not have to be moved again. If it does, it's Jimmy to the rescue again!

Glimmer

After what seems like a week of endless bad news, we finally got a glimmer of good news. The police found Jimmy's car! Still in tact none the less. I guess three drug dealers were driving it, around Simi. All this time I though it was in Mexico for sure, and it was here like 3 miles away.

The car passed by an officer and he thought the passengers looked suspicous. The officer ran the plates and found out the car was stolen. Turns out there were several arrest warrants out for these guys! Every possession we had in there was gone, but the car is in great condition. Minus a cigarette stench and some dirt. And probably a few venereal diseases as well. Jimmy is going to get it detailed on Monday. Black Beauty lives on!

Brynlee is doing well. I think she is bored of the hospital. Who can blame her? Bad news is, we aren't even 1/2 way done in there yet. Ugh. Her IV looks like it might be leaking, so they might need to do a new one tomorrow. I can't wait to bring that poor baby home and have people stop poking her. I still cry every time, which doesn't help the situation.

But other than that she is good. Still no fever. I hold my breath every time they take her temperature, paranoid that she will have a fever and is relapsing. I'm going to be a psychotic Mom when this is all said and done. I'm going to wear a utility belt of Lysol, disinfecting wipes and purel and make anyone who comes within 2 feet of her scrub down. That's if I decide to let her out of the house before she is in college. Still not quite sure about that one yet...

The Worst

Well. I think I've officially had the worst day of my life. Really probably the worst week.

I'm sure word has spread by now, but Brynlee is in the hospital. On Monday she started acting really fussy and threw up. I was concerned, but thought maybe she just had an upset tummy. She continued to look worse and worse though, and by 1pm I was sure this was no tummy ache. I took her temp and it was normal.

Tessa agreed with me that something was not right with her. We brought her over to Donna's house, where Donna confirmed that we were not imagining things. After fighting with Kaiser about her need to be seen that day, Jimmy and I brought her to the Dr. At 4pm she had a fever of 102.7, and looked absolutely horrible. The Dr. advised us to bring her to the hospital and get her admitted so they could run some tests. There tests consisted of a urine test, a blood test and a spinal tap. Safe to say I've never cried so hard in my life.

Jimmy had to hold her as I sobbed and sobbed in the waiting room praying for this to be over. After several attempts at putting in an IV they finally got it to go in her head.

They confirmed that she has bacterial spinal meningitis. This was really not the diagnosis I was hoping for. More sobbing uncontrollably ensued. However her fever has broken, and thanks to the wisdom of my pediatrician they started her on the antibiotics for the illness the night she was admitted just in case, before they confirmed she had it.

Anyone who googles spinal meningitis in infants will easily see what a devastating illness it can turn out to be if not treated immediately. However the second spinal tap (yes, they had to do another one which ensued more sobbing on my part) has confirmed that the antibiotics have stopped the bacteria, and are doing their job.

For anyone who has Kaiser, my pediatrician Dr. Bean is phenomenal. I'm convinced that his extra caution with Brynlee saved her life. He could have easily sent us home with some Tylenol, but he took the conservative route and had her tested for everything. And it's a good thing he did.

I keep replaying this whole past weekend in my head, and questions surround me. Where did she get this bacteria from? And did I get her to the Dr in time to avoid the long term affects?

As of right now she looks back to normal. She can still hear (she always jumps when someone slams the hospital door) and is tracking people around the room as well. A few weeks after we leave the hospital we'll take her back to get her hearing tested. Then around 3 months they'll run some more tests to make sure she isn't mentally handicapped. I guess I'll be on edge until then.

She will be in the hospital for 9 more days (2 weeks total) on antibiotics to make sure every bit of the bacteria is out of her system.

Ugh. While the hospital is not my favorite place to be, considering what could have happened I'm glad to be there. To think a few hours was the difference between my child's life and death makes me sick to my stomach.

The moral of this story is, Moms out there, do not think you are being over cautious. When I called Kaiser on Monday to try to get Brynlee in that day, all I had to go on was strange behavior and one case of vomit. The advise nurse on the phone tried to tell me in not so many words that I was over reacting. But I knew something was not right. If I'd listened to that nurse, I'm not sure where we would be. I don't want to think about it. Trust your gut and don't let anyone make you feel stupid for wanting to be overprotective of your child. Better safe that sorry!

As I'm home from the hospital intermittently I'll post updates on Brynlee's progress. If everything keeps going as planned she will be good as new in 9 days.

Maybe it's Maternal

I'm not sure why, but these days it REALLY, REALLY bothers me when I see people who know better making bad decisions. I'm not sure why. I guess it used to bother me before, but not to the degree that it bothers me now. I have enough to worry about without losing sleep over other people's transgressions. But here I am.

I think it may be the new maternal instinct in me now. I see people doing stupid things and I want to stop them. That simple. But it's really none of my business. I know that I shouldn't care, but that doesn't make it any better. I do still care. I just feel stupid for doing so.

So, now I'm left wondering how do I release these feelings? I hate having them, and they are not doing anyone any good. But they won't go away, it's really annoying. If I tell the person who I'm fretting about, I feel intrusive, bossy and nosy. But if I don't tell them I'm stuck where I am now. It's like a lose lose situation it seems.

I feel like one of the curses in my life will always be caring too much. I dwell on things, and care about things I shouldn't and it's sooo irritating. In my psychology class my personality was categorized as a "Blue". Someone who is sensitive, emotional, etc. It really does fit me to a tee. Except I don't want to be a "Blue" anymore. I'm tired of it. I think I'd like to try being a "Red" for a while. Not quite sure how to do that though. Maybe that will be my goal for the day tomorrow, to be more "Red" like.

As for Jimmy's car...no updates. Surprise!

When Life Gives you Lemons

Well. I'm not sure where to start with this one. Yesterday was a fun day in our house. I started off early, with Jimmy leaving to go to work and realizing that is car was not parked where it should be.

Yep, someone STOLE his car. Right out of the parking space it was in right by our house. Our house in Wood Ranch with a security guard that patrols around all night. We haven't even had the car for 1 year yet! It still feels like a bad dream, that I keep expecting to wake up from.

All we can really do is laugh at this point ( it's either that or sob uncontrollably...). Jimmy took my car to work, and I called the police and filed a police report as well as called our insurance company. No word from the Police. I'm thinking that car is either in Mexico, or lying somewhere stripped of everything.

Either way not good for us. We are waiting for the Insurance company to come up with an offer for us, which we will then have to give to the dealership to pay off the loan. No, we don't have gap insurance (really, why would we ever think we would need that?), so that means we will be paying the gap. However large or small it may be. As well as the $500 deductible. Did I mention we have a newborn barracuda baby, sucking us dry? Yeah. Good thing I go back to work soon!

Despite the fact that I've been on this Earth 26 years, and consider myself pretty well rounded with most things I'll never ever understand how someone could do this. It's hard for me to imagine that people do this type of thing and think it's ok. It really boggles my mind. I guess I'm one of those few who still operate under the assumption that everyone is generally good, just a few people have some problem areas. I guess this person's is grand theft auto?

Jimmy now needs a new car. He really did love his old one, but maybe we can use this as an opportunity to get him an even better one, for a better price. And we do have a pretty funny story to tell (I'm thinking it will be funny a bit down the road. Right now it just kind of sucks).

We've definitely learned a valuable lesson though. It doesn't matter where you live, or how safe you think you are. When Brynlee and I go on walks I leave my front door unlocked all the time! Won't be doing that anymore. There have been nights were we've left our garage door open all night ( with access to our entire house). Yikes. I guess it could be a lot worse when you think about it like that.

I'm sure there will be several more posts as the saga of the car unfurls, I'll keep you all posted!

RIP Black Beauty, you will be missed
2007-July 16, 2010