These are my Days

Sometimes it's still strange to me that I'm a stay at home Mom. After working for so long, and working stressful jobs none the less it's kind of odd to me when I think of what my days consist of.

Dishes. So so many dishes. How do we go through so many? There aren't even that many of us. Laundry folding. Baking. Attempted cleaning. Although now if it requires a lot of bending and such I don't clean it anymore. I see stuff all over the floor, Brynlee's favorite place to drop things and I just walk on by. Or crawl around on the ground and then try to find something to help me pull my awkward body back up to a standing position on.

Instead of worrying about making $6000 mistakes or someone getting stuck at the airport and me not being able to fix it I worry about whether Brynlee spends too much time watching TV. Or what we are going to eat for dinner because I feel like I make variations of the same thing every night and I'm TIRED of eating it.

After many attempts, I finally mastered the chocolate chip cookie. I could never get it right. The consistency would be off, or it wouldn't be chewy enough. I'd resorted to break and bake cookies. Now that I'm trying to be a home maker I thought I'd face my old nemesis. Ok it's just folliwng the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip bag right? It shouldn't be that hard. But for me it was. Well not anymore!

Next on my list, the sugar cookie. I'm really really bad at these. They are either too fluffy, or hard. Or just gross. This will be my goal, to make a decent sugar cookie.

After almost a year hiatus, I started crafting again. It's a lot of work, and time but I'd forgotten how much I love it. I'm trying to sell some of my crafts to help contribute financially. It's not going super well, but that's ok. It's a hobby I love and it gives me a sense of purpose when I'm finished.

I WILL learn to sew. That's on my list too.

This new job is harder than I thought to be honest. It's hard to feel a sense of self worth when you spend all your time with a 3 year old who doesn't seem to appreciate 98% of what you do. At least it's hard for me. To do a bunch of work with no paycheck. But that's the life of a Mom. We don't do it for the appreciation!

White Gold

When we used to live with Robbie, we would share groceries sometimes. One of those things was milk. There were 3 adults and a baby in that house, and we'd be lucky if we finished a gallon of milk before it expired. Brynlee wasn't drinking milk yet then and we weren't home all day. The milk never got finished. It seemed we were destined to throw milk away forever.

Cut to now. Our family of 3 goes through...3 gallons a week! Seriously, about 3 gallons. It's crazy. I can't believe how fast we burn through it, especially considering one of us is 3 years old. But that 3 year old LOVES milk. She cannot get enough.

We are also a cereal eating family. We all usually eat multiple bowls of cereal a day. But still 3 gallons? This week we went to Costco and bought 4 gallons because I'm tired of having to run to the store to buy milk. It's good until Feb 3rd, and I have no doubt it will be gone long before then.

I get milk panic. When I see the milk running low, I start to fret. Worry about what I'll do without milk. Mind you when I'm not pregnant I'm not a huge milk drinker. I still like cereal, but I'm not guzzling the white gold the way I am now. A lot of times I'll be craving something, but I can't figure out what it is. Usually if I drink a glass of milk and it hits the spot. I cannot imagine being lactose intolerant, I think I'd die. So here's to a fridge well stocked with milk, happy guzzling Cuillard family!

Week 33 Pregnancy Stats:

Baby is about 4 and 1/2 lbs now!

New Cravings: I'm kind of over Grape Nuts. I still eat them but not religiously. Now, its Jello. Particularly strawberry Jello. I think I could eat my weight ( which is a lot these days) in Jello. I've never been a huge Jello fan before.. pregnancy is so odd.

Stretch Marks: No....fingers crossed.

Weight Gain: About 28 lbs and rising. I seem to be hungry ALL the time these days

Other Symptoms: 
-My heartburn has been better recently...I'm not asking why I'm just saying YAY!
-I'm finding I sleep a lot better if I eat a bowl of Special K before bed. That way I don't wake up at 3am to pee and am starving.
-Sister baby Claire ( that is what we call her now) is having a grand old time kicking my bladder allll day long. I'll think I have to pee and drop everything, rush to the bathroom to then can't seem to go. It's so frustrating. I actually found myself sitting in the bathroom stall at Costco starting to tear up about it. Yes I started to cry because I felt like I had to pee and couldn't go. Safe to say pregnancy hormones are raging, LOL

However, all things considered I'm feeling pretty good! Besides the aches and pains and all around usual pregnancy discomfort. I'll take being fat and having bladder issues over the vomiting issues of the first trimester any day of the week! 33 weeks down, 7 weeks to go!

Killing With Kindness...or Food and Water

I have a long line of plant experts in my family. My Grandma loves plants, my Dad loves plants. My Mom is like the plant whisperer. My Grandpa even taught horticulture for goodness sake. Somehow this gene skipped me though. I'm not sure what happened.

Maybe two green thumbs equals a black thumb? Either way, despite how much I try I can't seem to keep a plant alive. Unless it's really really low maintenance. Like a cactus. This makes me sad because I love plants. Just not necessarily cacti... I walk by people's well maintained gardens and am green with envy. Actually there aren't too many gardens out here in the scorching hot desert, so this doesn't happen as much anymore.

I know what my problem is. I over water. I don't want my plants to get thirsty! But then I end up drowning them instead.

Jimmy and I had fish once when we were first married. I overfed them and they died. I see a trend here. In my attempts to take care of living things I overdo it. It's a wonder Brynlee isn't 100 lbs. If she actually ate, she probably would be. It's not for lack of me trying to get her to eat, believe me. Mitzie is pretty small too considering she has free reign of her food. It's probably all the laps she runs around the house at night that keep her sliminess. For a house cat anyway.

My neighbors went away for a week and I took care of their cat and fish. I didn't disclose my history of killing fish to them otherwise they might not have asked me. I really focused on not giving the animals too much food. Every time I fed the fish I said to myself " Just one pinch. Just one pinch" I struggled. They looked so hungry still. Were they starving? Didn't they need just a little more food? Miraculously, they lived! Yay! It's sad when you consider not killing fish over a week a personal victory.

This Christmas my Grandma the plant guru sent me a plant. Oh boy. I found the best spot in my house and set my plant up. I read the instructions diligently and tried my very best NOT to over water. I struggled again. The plant looked thirsty. But I refrained, despite the desire to water just a little bit more. And it's actually growing! Like really growing! Whenever Brynlee goes near it I get all protective of my plant and tell her not to touch it. You'd think the plant was my child. But I go into my kitchen every morning and it makes me so happy. I really do love plants.

My goal for my back yard that is in shambles one day is to have a pallet garden. I've always wanted to grow vegetables. I might have to take a class first before I embark on that endeavor. I spent a lot of money and time on a potted flower project a few years ago for them to all die on me within like 2 weeks.

But I have a LIVING plant! One small step for me, one huge step for black thumbs everywhere!

Sister Baby

I know kids say funny things all the time. That's half the reason we have them, right? Some of the stuff Brynlee comes up with cracks me up. It usually happens when she's in trouble and I have to work really hard to keep a straight face because if I laugh I won't be mad at her anymore.

She calls her sister "sister baby". As we've been getting the nursery together Brynlee is seeing lots of new stuff come out of storage for sister baby. On a side note can I just say how exciting it is to actually have a nursery. Like a room for the baby! A room that is not mine, or a closet or someone else's room. The baby's room. I like to just walk in there and look at stuff because I get really excited. Anyhow Brynlee loves all of sister baby's stuff and keeps trying to get into it. When I ask her to not mess with it she tells me " she is sharing with sister baby." I've tried to tell her that somethings sister baby is going to have all to herself, like pacifiers. Brynlee usually gets upset about this and tells me that "sister baby is not sharing good, and she can't do that!"

A few nights ago Brynlee and I were on the couch and sister baby started moving around. At this point it's not little jabs anymore, it's like my stomach is rolling around. It is kind of creepy but watching it roll is one of my favorite things-

Me: Look Brynlee, sister baby is moving!

Brynlee: Why is she doing that?

Me: Because she is running out of room in there and it's getting cramped

Brynlee: Sister baby is trying to cook us dinner ( looking at my stomach) Sorry sister baby, we already ate. Sorry!

Apparently I have a chef in the making.

Brynlee took the nightlight out of the hallway and put it in sister baby's room so she wouldn't be scared.  Now I'm scared when I get up at night and it's pitch black in my hallway. I also keep finding Brynlee's pillow and blanket in the baby crib. I put them back into Brynlee's bed, and somehow magically they end up in the baby's crib again. Maybe she is staking her claim?

Not having a sister, I always wanted one. I'm so excited to have children that are sisters. I'm curious as to how they will get along. While a 4 year age gap is not ideal, there was nothing I could do about it, so there you go. I hope they will be friends. But based on my experience with people who are sisters I'm sure some rocky times are ahead.

As of right now Brynlee is really excited for sister baby to come. I'm sure she'll be singing a different tune shortly after she's born though when the reality of how much attention sister baby requires sets in.

Bless sister baby's heart, I hope she is strong willed. She is going to need it with an older sister like Brynlee, that's for sure. The good side to that though is that no sane person will want to mess with someone who has Brynlee for an older sister.

A Big Rant, About a Big Movie, About a Big Ship

Not feeling super great last night, I dragged myself upstairs ( who's idea was it to buy a house with stairs again?) to bed. I went in my room to find the last 30 min of the movie Titanic on. How this got on, I have no idea. Brynlee was supposed to be in her room, and actually was for once. I have the movie Titanic on VHS (wow I'm really dating myself here). When I do watch it, I always just watch the first tape. Watching everyone die is not super fun to me, so I just skip right over that part.

But since it was on TV and I haven't seen the end of that movie in a super long time I thought I'd watch. Besides almost everyone dying, which is horrifying in itself the ending of the movie bothers me still, 16 years later. I found myself getting more and more irritated.

Did Jack really have to die? Was there no other piece of wreckage he could get on? With all the stuff floating around there was nothing for him? While I appreciate Rose's sentiment about wanting to start a new life once she got off the boat, how did that work exactly? She was a 17 year old spoiled brat with no skills besides sipping tea and looking pretty. What happened when the boat docked and she had NO money and NO where to go. What did she do? Somehow she magically managed to do all the things she'd always wanted to do with Jack. Isn't it great when hopes and dreams pave the way? Maybe White Star offered some sort of housing to Titanic survivors that I'm not aware of, but that has always bugged me.

Lastly, the part that really chaps my hide the most is when she throws millions of dollars to the bottom of the sea. Seriously? Gee Rose, maybe your grand daughter who takes care of you could have used some of that money. Or maybe you could have sold the locket and donated the proceeds to kids with cancer or something. No, you just flung it right over the edge of the boat after holding on to it for 80 something years. Well done. It will do a lot of good on the ocean floor.

Ahhh! Obviously besides the things I've listed, the rest of the movie is totally realistic ( NOT!). I've never been a huge fan, as you can tell by my rant here. I remember all the hype over that movie, and it's so awful in so many ways. It took a long time for me to like Kate Winslet as an actress because I thought the character of Rose was so irritating. After seeing Kate Winslet in several other things I really do enjoy her work and think she is wonderful.

Maybe I should stick to just watching the first tape of the movie Titanic, if I watch it at all. Better yet I'll just stick to my Titanic documentaries. OK, rant over!

Rite of Passage

I'm not a huge TV watcher these days. I find myself unable to focus while watching a show. I'm either reading while watching ( which equates to not really watching), playing on my phone or zoning out. There just doesn't seem to be much on TV that really holds my interest, which isn't a bad thing I think.

After watching football on Sunday Dateline came on. The program was about a non profit organization called "Little Baby Faces" which provides plastic surgery to children born with facial deformities, but recently has opened it up to bullied teens as well.  Here is the best link I could find:

Little Baby Faces Dateline Report

I expected to see teens with horrible deformities and birth defects. Cleft lips, etc. But as they showed several of the teens applying to the program I was perplexed. They looked just fine to me! Did they look like super models, no. But most people don't look like supermodels. I was instantly entranced by the show, curious as to how this all works. Is a big nose now considered a birth defect?

Don't get me wrong...I'm not against plastic surgery necessarily. If some people feel the need to really "fix" things about their appearance then more power to you. If it makes you feel better, great. When it comes down to it, we could all be better looking, right? I mean there is always something that could be "fixed". I myself have a few things that I'd like to tweak with, and who's to say I won't somewhere down the road. I've entertained the idea, but it's a big commitment and I don't feel it necessary for me at this point.

But what bothered me about this was that these were kids. Like 14 year old kids. 16 year old kids. Kids not yet done developing and growing. Who knows how they will look 5 years down the road? What started out as a huge nose might not be so huge later on. I'll use my husband as an example. Yes his nose is large. We joke about it all the time. But it was a LOT bigger when he was 14! He has grown into a bit. And while you wouldn't consider it small by any stretch now, I think he looks just fine. And furthermore, is anyone really attractive at 14? That's like the worst age ever. If you didn't get made fun of and called ugly for the way you look at some point in school you were the exception, not the rule. At least that is my understanding. It's an unfortunate rite of passage that we all go through.

I hate the idea of bullying, and I hate that people make fun of other people for the way they look. But I'm not sure that teenagers running out and getting plastic surgery because of it is the answer here. What if your nose gets fixed and people still make fun of you. What then?

We all know it's what's on the inside that counts. But we all want to be attractive as well. I get the desire, but taking kids who have yet to really develop their own self worth and identity and "fixing" their face doesn't feel right to me.

There was one girl on the program who actually had a visible eye lid deformity. It was a birth defect and they did help her, which I think was awesome. And surprisingly she seemed to be the one that was most OK with not being helped if she didn't get picked!

When it comes to bullying, is surgery really the best answer?

Smarty Pants

I remember before I was ever pregnant thinking about how pregnancy was going to be. Like before you have kids how you say things like " my kids will never do that". Ha ha. Oh life does like to throw you curve balls doesn't it?

Pre pregnancy I thought pregnancy would be sheer bliss. I'd only eat an extra Yoplait yogurt a day because you really only need like 200-300 extra calories when you were pregnant. I'd seen way to many of those I Didn't Know I was Pregnant shows, so I thought pregnancy would be pain free and I'd feel totally normal. Looking back at that I think about how dumb I was. Or naive I guess would be a nice way to put it.

One thing I really didn't expect was the severe loss of intelligence. Seriously. Pregnancy brain is no joke, and I've got it real bad. I say and do the dumbest things all the time. I really should write them down. It's a good thing we are only pregnant for 10 months as I can physically feel my IQ lowering by the day.

A little while back I went to make a frozen pizza for dinner ( I know, housewife of the year over here). I baked it for the duration it said on the box. When I tried to get it off the pan it was still all floppy. But looked done on the top. I was perplexed. Being that I'm the queen of frozen pizzas I'd never had this issue. Then I realized I left the cardboard circle on the bottom of the pizza when I baked it. Duh. Really, who does that? Me. That's who.

We keep seeing commercials for the Olympics on TV. My conversation with my husband went something like this:

Me: I don't understand how they are going to have winter Olympics in Brazil. It's a tropical climate like all the time I think.

Jimmy: ( looking at me strangely, I think trying to figure out if I'm kidding) Sochi is in Russia.

Me: Oooooh. That makes more sense. That's a perfect place for the winter Olympics.

Jimmy: ( still staring at me with a confused look) Yeah.

We still watch Jeopardy pretty regularly. Not that I used to get a lot of answers correct, but I'd at least know some. Now I watch it with drool hanging out of my mouth still trying to understand what the categories mean as the contestants and my husband fire off answers.

I hope what little intelligence I had comes back after I have this baby. I think it starts to come back, but I can't remember what happened after Brynlee. I know, I can't remember something, shocking!

We Wish you a Merry Christmas

This was the first year I was actually kind of relieved when Christmas was over. Isn't that sad? Normally I get really depressed. But this year I actually breathed a sigh of relief.

Maybe because it's a ton of work and now baby #2 is just a hop, skip and jump away! While having a new born again kind of freaks me out  (OK really freaks me out. I hope I remember how to do everything) the idea of not being pregnant anymore has me wanting to dance in the streets! Woo Hoo! I'm already planning my post pregnancy work out, and can't wait to have some energy again ( after the first few initial weeks when I don't sleep like ever). I find myself staring at my pre baby clothes longingly, salivating for the day when I can wear them.

We did have a wonderful Christmas. We all made out like bandits and everyone seemed to really like their stuff. Well sort of. I got Mitzie some new toy mice that she wants nothing to do with. She keeps carrying around her old cruddy blue mouse with the stuffing coming out of it. And I got Brynlee new slippers and a bathrobe, both of which she refuses to wear. Oh well, what can you do.

Here are some pictures from the Christmas madness-

Dad was really excited about the toy gun Santa put in his stocking, LOL. 

At first Brynlee was kind of hesitant, but then she started tearing right in!

Jimmy got in on the opening present action.

He got all the tools he needs to start building me stuff. My first project for him, shelves in the garage!

Oh Mitzie. All the boxes, bows and wrapping paper make her crazed. This happens every Christmas, she runs around like a cat on drugs jumping in everything she can. 

Don't mind my dirty garage...Brynlee's first bike! This was the last thing she opened, and by this point I think she was in present overload. I'm sure eventually she will love it. 

The after Christmas morning wreckage. Stuff EVERYWHERE!

Brynlee and Maylee ready for Christmas dinner. These two are so cute together I could just die. 

Something was funny because they were cracking up!

Here they are getting ready to play with a real porcelain tea party set. They were so excited!

Lastly, in case anyone cares- Pregnancy stats:

Weeks left: 10!!!!! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel

Stretch marks: still none ( fingers crossed, fingers crossed)

Weight gain: 22lbs. My Dr said aim for 35lbs so I'm right on target as this baby is going to start packing on the weight. She is currently about 3lbs

Cravings: still Grape Nuts. I eat at least a bowl a day. And milk, and cheese. 

Heartburn: Ugh. After disappearing for a while it's starting to rear it's ugly head, even with the prilosec. It's not terrible, but I cannot wait for it to GO AWAY.

Other fun facts: I'm still up in the middle of the night just about every night. I'm working my way through seasons of One Tree Hill on Netflix. I guess it's good time to catch up on my cheesy teenage dramas? And even if I just peed every time I sneeze I piddle. It's super fun and not humiliating at all, LOL. 

We MIGHT have decided on the name Claire. Might, so don't hold me to it if I change my mind. Now we are battling about the middle name. Surprise.