This Can't be Normal...

Last night I got home from work and was excited to really start in on my new book.

Yes, I broke down and went to Borders and bought two new books the other day. I actually had three in my stack, but then realized that I would be spending like $60 on books! So I put one back.

Anyway I got into bed last night at 8:00 poised and ready to read. I didn't get very far. I fell asleep at like 9:00 I think. And I slept straight until 7:30am this morning. In case you are forgetting, I am not in fact an 80 year old woman. I'm 24 for goodness sake. What 24 year old goes to bed at 9:00?!

On Tuesday night I fell asleep around 10:00. I guess that is a little better. But still leaves me to wonder why I find myself falling asleep so early. Granted I didn't feel very good last night, but me falling asleep before 10:00 is actually a pretty normal occurrence.

Maybe I need to start taking vitamins? Or eat more vegetables? I did actually work out this week. But I guess working out once in 28 days isn't really saying much. At this rate by the time I am 80 I'll be falling asleep at 5pm!

I'm going to start reviewing the books I finish reading.

The one I just finished is called "In the Woods", by Tana French.

Likes: It is a suspense story that grabs you from the beginning and keeps you eagerly turning the pages. The characters are flawed and therefore seem more realistic. If you like James Patterson novels, I think you might like this one.

Dislikes: It is written by an Irish author, and takes place in Ireland so there were a lot of words that I wasn't sure if I just didn't know or if they were European words we Americans don't use. Also being that it is an Irish novel, there is a lot of cussing in it. Lastly, and probably most importantly the ending was terrible. At least in my opinion. There are 2 main mysteries, and only one of them gets solved at the end. Things like that drive me nuts. But it makes it more realistic that way.

So, I would recommend this book for people who like suspense and understand that stories don't always have a happy ending. Despite the crappy end, this book left me thinking about it days after I read it, which is always a good sign.

AS IF FROM NO WHERE!

The topic of my talk on Sunday was the blessings of following the commandments. I discussed a few different things, but one of the things I talked about was tithing. I think this is something that people who are not LDS just don't get. Even people who are LDS don't get it!

The idea of giving money to church is not new. But, I think Mormons do it a little differently. We are promised (through scriptures and prophets) that if we pay tithing we will be blessed because of it.

This concept is tough for many. It's easy to think it's harder for the poor, but I've never been rich so I don't know. I guess my opinion is biased. But, when you don't have a lot of money to begin with and you give part of that to the Lord trusting that he will bless you because of your faith it can be scary!

It's not like we are desperately poor, but with my pay cut and Jimmy's school riding on the coattails of Christmas we are definitely having to be more frugal with our spending. Things like my mistake that I spoke about in a previous post (that I still don't feel like going into detail about) definitely DO NOT help the situation.

But, we pay our tithing diligently. It can be tough (for me I think more than Jimmy because my tendencies to worry), but I understand and have experienced the importance of it.

On Sunday Jimmy was online and he checked my old pay pal account on E Bay from a few years back. Low and behold there was $71 in there! I thought I had taken it all out, but I guess not.

Then, on Tuesday I sold a really big airline ticket and got to take commission ($158 to be exact) from it.

Lastly, today my co worker said one of the hotels we work with gave her some American Express gift certificates for $100 each and she gave me one for helping her.

So, in the past 4 days $329 sprung up out of no where. It never ceases to amaze me how that works.

At my job we get a bonus depending on how much money we make for the company. The size of your bonus depends on how much you sell (the more you sell,the bigger your bonus).

You have until Dec 31st and the commission tracker starts over for the year. At the end of last year I was so close to the next bonus level. But I only had 3 days left in the year, and it was super super slow because most people were out on vacation.

I had pretty much accepted that I wouldn't get the bigger bonus. When I came in to work after New Years, I looked at my updated stats (how much money I made the company). Somehow I had made enough money to get to that next level. I don't understand where the money came from. I hadn't done anything in the past 3 days. I still don't get it.

I guess that is the thing about being blessings of paying tithing. You don't have to understand it, you just have to be grateful for it.

It's Hitting the Fan!

Joe Torre, former manager of the New York Yankees has decided to write a tell all book.

For those not baseball savvy, Joe Torre was the Manager for the Yankees for about a decade or so and led them to several world series. However was not able to lead them to one since 2000. He left the Yankees after the 2007 season and went on to manage the LA Dodgers (which is where he is currently). He did not leave the Yankees on the best of terms.

Normally, I think tell all books are crap. People trying to make a buck or two by airing everyone else's dirty laundry has never seemed like an admiral thing to do. But, I have liked Joe from the beginning. Even when he managed the Yankees (yes it pains me to say it), I liked him. I just didn't like his team. He seems like an honest and fair guy who goes with his gut and tries to do what he thinks is best.

So, his book is coming out and word is there is some pretty good stuff in there. Like jabs at Crap Rod ( aka A Rod) and slave ship running George Steinbrenner for example. I might actually consider reading this book as it doesn't appear to be a bunch of Yankee praising junk. It does go against my normal "tell all" book policy, but I think this one will be really interesting.

Everyone who watched the Yankees choke in the past 8 post seasons (well I guess that would be 7 post seasons because they didn't make it last year did they?) knows that some ugly stuff had to be going on behind the scenes. Now we get to read about it!

Speaking of reading, man I'm on a streak. I went on a reading hiatus for a while, but now I'm back with a vengeance. Thank you Twilight for igniting my passion again! I'm tearing through books left and right. A book seems to be a new permanent appendage to my hand ( much to the chagrin of my husband). I just finished my current book today, and will go on a hunt for another tonight. It is getting to be an expensive habit though. I've tried the library, but our Simi Library sucks. It never has the book I want, and if it does it only has 1 copy that is already checked out.

Anyone read a good book recently that they would recommend? I like them all, fiction, non fiction, fantasy. I hold no bias!

Victory!

Well, I made it through the weekend in 1 piece!

FRIDAY, BABYSITTING: I didn't kill the kid! It was actually a boy we sat for, not a girl (I changed the sex in case the person being surprised reads my blog). All was fine until it was time to eat. I asked him if he was ready for dinner, and he said yes. Ok, so I try to get him in his chair. He was not happy about that! He started screaming and crying so I called in the reinforcements (aka Jimmy). That man was just born to be a dad. He immediately was able to calm the kid down, and even got him to eat. He was pretty much fine the rest of the night.

Until bed time. He was better than I thought he would be, but still got a little upset when we tried to put him in his bed. He was a doll though when I changed his diaper. The diaper looked kinda funny on him, so I hope I put it on right! So we tried to get him into bed and he started crying. Jimmy to the rescue, again. He read Green Eggs and Ham to him until he calmed down, and then the kid was out like a light.

So, this experience has made me realize it sure is good I married someone who is child savvy (Otherwise Lord help my offspring!).

SUNDAY, TALK: I thought I was going to blow chunks on the stand. Seriously. I've never been that nervous before. I'm not sure what the deal was. It was my turn to speak after a musical number, and as the number starting winding down I just wanted to run and hide. My talk went ok though. Not great, but ok. I did manage to discuss everything I wanted to (usually I end up skipping stuff because I panic). However, as per usual the water works started. Curse. I really thought I was going to make it through this one with no tears.

I hate the fact that every talk I give leaves me blubbering in front of the whole congregation. My make up runs all over, and then I'm stuck looking like I got ready in the dark for the rest of the day. My favorite!

SUNDAY, LESSON: This was the best part of my weekend. I only had 2 little girls in class this Sunday. But for the first time, they actually got what I was telling them. They paid attention, and answered my questions. I even ended up running the whole class time. I think I finally understand how to communicate with kids this age in a way that they get what I'm saying. And, there was an added bonus. The following is a discussion I had with one of the little girls, Chloe:

Chloe: Guess what?

Me: What?

Chloe: I drew a picture of you in school this week, it had curly hair.

Me: You did? Why did you draw a picture of me?

Chloe: Because I like you.

Me: You know what Chole, I like you too.


Ahhh the sweet feeling of success. Finally! I just might make it through this calling after all.

Anxiety

I'm a little nervous about this weekend. I've got a couple of things going on that might be a little tricky.

First, on Friday night I'm babysitting. I'm not going to go into details yet because it's a whole surprise thing. There is a girl I know through church and she asked me to watch her child. She is about 2, and is an only child so at least there is just one.

But when she told me the reason she asked me I almost laughed at her. She is very protective of her child, and she needed someone she could trust to watch her. And, she thought of me. Oh boy. Me, who doesn't know what to do with kids. Me, who has babysat maybe twice, and not at all since I was like 12.

Granted I teach primary every Sunday now, but that is for like an hour and doesn't involve feeding or bathing or putting to bed. I wonder what on earth made her think of me. But, I agreed to help her out (not because the thought of babysitting on Friday night sounded super fun, but because I'm a pushover and hate to say no to people).

I made sure Jimmy has that night off, because I'm not going at it alone! I'm sure I'll have a great story to blog about on Monday. Hopefully after this experience Jimmy will still want to have kids with me one day. :)

Then, on Sunday Jimmy and I are speaking in our ward. Ugh. It's one of those things you just don't say no to, but just because I accept the assignment doesn't mean I want to do it.

I'm not normally a real nervous public speaker, but when it comes to church stuff I am. I just feel silly talking about something that probably 90% of the people listening could talk about better. It makes me nervous that I'll mix something up, or teach false doctrine or something. I've got my talk outlined and think it will be ok though. Hopefully.

The most frustrating part of all of this is that Jimmy I'm sure has yet to start his. He will probably write it on the way to church Sunday morning. And his will still be better than mine. It always is.

It's not fair really. He just flies by the seat of his pants and brings the congregation to tears. I study and prepare and you can hear crickets chirping in the background as everyone stares at me with their glazed over "I'm not really listening eyes". I guess in this case failing to plan really isn't planning to fail!

Beat of my Own Drum

Well, I couldn't help to notice that my blog is slightly different than any other ones I read.

Not just in layout and such, but in material matter. I can see one big reason for this. No kids. It seems that many bloggers who have children simply write about them. Understandable of course.

But it makes me wonder if me writing about how I'm feeling (no matter how dark it may be) is blogging taboo. I'm fairly new to the blogging world, but compared to what most other people write some of my entries read like an Edgar Allen Poe poem. I'm going to keep on working at staying optimistic through rough times. I'll add that to the list of New Years Resolutions (still have yet to go to the gym in 2009 by the way).

Switching gears here, one of my cube buddies lives in a senior home. Meaning for people 60 and older.

I'm telling you, that is where it's at. I can't wait to live in one of those. Every night, they play games. They play bunko, Mexican train, uno and bingo, rumikub, scrabble (the list just goes on and on). It's like a game players paradise.

I would love to come home everyday and have a bunch of people to play games with. She keeps telling me I should come play with them sometime, and I just might take her up on it.

We do have a mini version of this at my house. We play Mexican Train every night, and Robbie cannot win to save his life. Maybe it's time to expand our game collection. Anyone know of any fun games for 3 or more people? We do have quite a few other games, but I'm always on the hunt for another.

Inauguration Overload

I am happy to see that our country has come so far as to elect an African American president. It means that the way people think really can change, and that is indeed a historic event.

But something about this whole thing seems odd.

Did I miss something, or isn't it usually customary to wait until someone actually does something before we start singing their praises?

That's how it works in the normal world atleast. But in politics that doesn't seem to matter.

So Obama made a bunch of large and grand promises. Ok, doesn't every politician? Let's see what he actually does before we start calling him the savior of the country.

This has nothing to do with who I voted for (which will continue to remain unknown).

And Robbie, I completely agree with you on the money pit that is this inauguration. To be spending the kind of money something like this event must cost while the economy is crumbling seems just plain dumb.

On the radio I heard that there will be more celebrities in attendance for this inauguration than any other in history. If anything I think that is a warning sign! Celebrities don't really have a long history of making good choices...

But, I am excited to see what Obama and his staff members do. They talked the talk, now lets see if they can walk the walk. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

And I have to be honest (at risk of offending some), I'm glad to see Bush go. Bless his heart he looks like he aged 50 years since he's been in office. I guess having the weight of the country on your shoulders will do that to you. He needs to go take a long vacation and just relax for a while. I truly admire anyone that actually wants to be President.

On another note, Jimmy started school today and I'm so excited! Not really for him to be in school. But he has to wake up early 2 days a week, so that means I have someone to wake up with. It just makes getting up so much easier for me when I don't have to tip toe around in the darkness like a mouse. This morning I turned on the lights and turned on some music. I'm much more awake because of it.

Drowning

Does anyone else feel like they are having some trouble staying afloat recently?

I have this Dilbert cartoon where he is talking about what his day at work is like. He says something to the affect of he feels like he is drowning and monkeys dressed as life guards are throwing anvils at him.

That is exactly what I feel like. Not necessarily with work, but with life in general. I made a completely stupid mistake today, and it's going to cost a nice chunk of money. It's still pretty fresh, so I don't feel like going into details but it's done and there is nothing I can do about it. Anyone have a time machine I can borrow?


I feel different than I used to. Something happened when I left the land of college and 20 hour work weeks. As I transferred into a 9-5 working adult it's like a switch snapped. For as much as a gripe about my job, it does have a lot of good points. So I'm not sure if that is the reason. I think it's just the fact that there is no "kid" left in me anymore and I'm not sure how to deal with it. It's gotten particularly bad the last few months. I feel like I wake up each day and there is a rain cloud I have to try to fend off. Some days I fend it off better than others.

So what are my options?

Until money starts falling like Manna from the sky ( here's hoping!), I've got to work. So I just have to find a way to cope with the fact that this is what adults do. They go to work everyday just to come home and do it again the next day.

And lastly, to top off this rather depressing post I want to give a shout out to a couple of people. First, to my Mom. Even though we don't see each other as often as we used to, she still knows what to say to make me feel better. Thanks for the pep talk this morning Mom, I love you! :)

And second, to Carla. She is always there to listen and share in my woes. She has some great ideas, and is quick to help organize a solution to any problem. She should start a business as a help hotline operator!

It's a Small World After All

At my office, we have some walk in customers once in a while. People looking to by airline tickets, or book a hotel or something will come into my office and one the agents will help them out.

On Dec 23rd, a guy came in to buy some plane tickets. I sit right near the door, and the people I sit by are all corporate agents. So when he came in, he was chatting with us until a leisure agent came up to help him. He seemed very nice and pleasant enough. So he bought some tickets, left and that was it.

Well, many of you may have heard about The Christmas Eve Massacre. Bruce Pardo dressed up as Santa, burst into his ex wives home and starting shooting at everyone before killing himself.

As you may have guessed, Bruce Pardo is the guy who was in my office the day before! The girl who helped him recognized his face when she saw him on the news, and sure enough, he had a flight reservation in our system. Scary.

It makes me wonder how many strangers we interact with on a day to day basis that are complete psychos. I think I'll start carrying my pepper spray with me again.

This is a link to the story of the funeral they had today for the victims of the massacre.

Felines on my Mind

Debbie got a new kitten yesterday, and I couldn't help feeling a bit jealous. I have wanted a kitten for over 3 years now. We couldn't have one at our old house. I have a name picked out and everything.

I am a complete cat person. Always have been. Dogs hold little allure for me. I had some truly amazing cats growing up, and I miss the companionship only a pet can offer. We did have some fish a while back, but they all died shortly after we brought them home. I wonder what that means...

However, Robbie is not an animal person (who would've guessed?). But he finally conceded to the cat idea a little while ago. Now the question is, do I really want one?

While I miss having a cat, there are some things I don't miss. The hair, the litter box, the meowing at odd hours to name a few. And not to mention the vet bills.

Plus, I'm sure just because Robbie doesn't want a cat, if we were to get one Robbie would be its favorite person. It always seems to work out that way. The cat would probably want to be in Robbie's room all the time and drive him crazy. Probably to the point of violence (just kidding Robbie!).

And, there is always the chance the kitten could turn out to be a complete terror. Then what? I'm just stuck with it. All my cats growing up were social and cuddly and fun to be around (with the exception of one, but he wasn't that bad). I don't want a cat that is going to hide under the bed all the time, or be a spawn of Satan. Like Debbie's last cat. Let's hope this one turns out better Deb!

So anyway, I'm faced with this conundrum. To cat or not to cat? That is the question...

Getting There, Slowly but Surely

I taught my 2nd Sunbeams class yesterday, and I think it went a little better. I planned things a little differently, but still ran into some bumps.

I did everything in the lesson manual, but still had 20 minutes left over. We had already colored, eaten a snack and sang. I tried to play " Simon Says" with the kids. They told me they knew how to play, but when the time came they didn't know what was going on. I think they just like to say they know how to do things, whether they do or not. And who can blame them really? They did everything I said, even if I didn't say "Simon says". When they would do that I would ask them " did Simon say to do that?" They would then shake their heads no, but do the same thing 5 seconds later. They just wanted to dance around, so we did. It's nice for me to get the wiggles out too.

I'm just not used to being around kids that age. In fact I've never really been around kids that age for any lengthy time, so I'm not sure what they do and do not understand.

As far as the lesson goes, I did get some response this week. So that was good. I doubt they remembered what I told them 5 mins after the class was over, but that is ok. The point is that in the class they understood (atleast they said they did, but they also said they knew how to play Simon Says...)

My New Year's resolution was to go to the gym more often. Well, it's the 12th of the month, and I've yet to go. Hmm.... maybe my resolution should be getting better at setting and keeping goals. That has never really been a strong point for me. Which is odd because the times that I have set and achieved a goal I felt truly amazing afterwards. So I'd think that remembering the feeling of achieving something would inspire me to do it more.

Well, it's never too late to turn over a new leaf! 24 Hour Fitness, here I come! :)

Inspired to Smile

Well, our pay cut as set in at work, and it's safe to say the results are evident everywhere.

Instead of people going out to lunch like they normally would, you see them eating left overs and Top Ramen in the break room! I usually bring my lunch, so it is nice to have some company in there. I've stretched a chicken bowl from El Pollo Loco for 3 meals now (with a few additions from around the house). Not because I can't afford to buy more food, but its become like a mission, to see how many meals I can make it go. I'm going to try for 4 today. Me against the bowl, round 4...

The point is, it seems like we are all in this together. There really isn't any use in all being depressed, so I'm working on keeping a smile on my face. So far so good. Smiles are contagious after all.

My Dad got a new job and I'm so excited for him. He is such a hard and reliable worker, I knew it was only a matter of time. The fact that he got a job completely made my day. It's not easy out there but he made it happen! Congrats Dad!

Even though we agreed to not do anything for our anniversary, I left my desk on Tuesday and came back to 1 dozen roses and big "Happy Anniversary" balloon. A huge smile crept up on my face as all the women in my office (and it is about 90% women) oohed and ahhed at my flowers. Me, being the worrier that I am saw dollar signs right after the shock wore off. Flowers are pricey after all. But I'm not going fret about that. Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the roses. In this case, literally!

3 Years

Today, Jimmy and I have been married for 3 years. I can't believe it. In a way it feels like much longer than that, but at the same time it feels like there is no way 3 years could have gone by that quickly.

I think of all we have gone through and all the things we have faced and feel as if we are war veterans as well as spouses.

At our tithing settlement a couple of weeks ago the Bishop asked if our marriage has been 3 years of pure bliss. We both looked at each other and started laughing. Pure bliss? Not quite. But is any relationship really? We've had ups and downs, but I think that is normal. You need the hard times to appreciate the good times. And when 2 people are attempting to grow together, it's only natural to hit some bumps along the way.

So here we stand, 3 years later and we are still standing together.

I love that Jimmy gives me some perspective when I freak out over stupid stuff.
I love that he tries to cook for me to the best of his abilities.
I love that he will let me chat his ear off about my day at work, even if he couldn't care less.
I love that when he does the laundry, he folds and puts all my clothes away.
I love that he calls me, even when he doesn't really have something to say.
I love that he is willing to work at "us" because he thinks it is worth while.
Most of all, I love that he is mine forever.

Happy Anniversary chop, I love you!

Back to Reality

Well, the holidays are over. I always have trouble with this time of year, when it's no longer Christmas time, it's just winter (by far my least favorite season). All my decorations have to come down, and the house just looks kinda sad.

Not to mention we don't get another paid holiday until May. Ugh.

I taught my first Sunbeam class yesterday. For some reason I hadn't realized that for the sunbeams, this would be their first day in primary. So, almost like a first day of school.

It started off with one of the kids in my class not wanting to sit with us, and wanting to sit with his brother instead. Then some parents brought in another kid, who looked at me and then started to cry uncontrollably. I felt like saying, "Kid, I feel the same way!".

But once we got in our class room, minus a few temper tantrums it wasn't that bad. I attempted to teach my lesson, but don't think it was too much of a success. I would have had more participation from a group of deaf mutes. However, these kids are 3 after all. What did I expect? We sang, danced, played duck duck goose and still had tons of time left. I'll have to tweak my teaching method for next week. I'm used to teaching older kids who actually understand what I'm saying to them.

After a week of non stop reading I finished the Twilight series. I feel sad that I'm done with them, but am relieved at the same time. The only other books like this that I've read are the Harry Potter books, and I kept up with those as they came out. So I wasn't faced with desperately trying to read 7 of them asap.

So back to real life and out of the world of hot vampires with hearts of gold I go.