The Road Less Traveled

Nod and Smile

2012-01-26T20:07:00.000-08:00

I've been really lucky to have had some pretty great clients at school so far. Some have been more enjoyable than others, but so far no bad ones. Until today. Ok let me rephrase that. She wasn't really bad. She was just a pain in the butt. Big time.

She was old, she was crippled and she was grouchy. We'll call her Molly for the sake of my story. Yes I've changed names for customer protection. When I saw Molly walk in I thought oh she is going to be fun. And then I got called to take Molly, and I thought oh this is great. And then I looked at Molly's card and saw that she had about 4 hours of services to be performed. Oh boy. I needed a diet coke, ASAP.

I did my best with Molly. When all is said in done, she wasn't that bad. It could have been worse. She was bossy, and nit picky, and finicky. And thought I purposely put her in a malfunctioning dryer. No the dryer didn't malfunction. Molly is just sensitive to heat apparently because it was set on medium low. And is just like the 20 other dryers in the salon. Molly informed me that is the second time she has been stuck in that dryer, and she didn't appreciate it. Ha ha yes that is how I get my jolly's. But trying to cook old people in malfunctioning hair dryers. I told Molly that next time someone tries to take her to this imaginarily malfunctioning dryer she should lead them to a different dryer instead. I did actually spend 4 hours of time with Molly. I tried to pass her off to someone because I had to take my lunch, but apparently Molly liked me more than I liked her because she didn't want to do that. Too bad, because it's the law that I take my lunch by a certain time. But my classmate had to come get me out of the break room because Molly didn't want anyone else to work on her.

Molly was happy with the way that her hair turned out, and that is the most important thing. That and the fact that she didn't remember my name so she can't request me next time. That is important too. She did tip me $3 though so that was nice. I'll probably spend that at 7-11 tomorrow. I did a lot of nodding and smiling as Molly ranted on and on about things. Like the last time she came to my school. I hate it when people do that. Complain about what the last student did to them. We are all trying to learn, and some are slower than others. There is no need to put people down because of it. When you go to a school to get your hair done, expect a few bumps in the road. That is why we only charge $17 for a Redken color retouches!

Falling Off

2012-01-22T08:44:00.000-08:00

Wow where did I go? No post for 18 days...that is pretty un like me! It's been a little crazy though. We went to Arizona to go to my nieces wedding last week. It was really fun. Except for the whole flying with a toddler part. Kill. Me. Now. Brynlee did pretty well I guess. By that I mean she ran all over the place, attracted plenty of aggravated stares from other passengers and wiggled and wiggled and wiggled. How early on can you detect ADD in your child? I'm going to keep my eye out for it. She it nuts! I tried to get her to watch TV while I made breakfast yesterday. That lasted for about 30 seconds. I tried My Little Ponies, SpongeBob and some other crazy show. I'll try Yo Gabba Gabba next and hope that is the one that will tame the beast. I never thought I'd say I was trying to get my kid to watch TV.

The wheels are turning in this kids head. Just this weekend alone she discovered that she can move chairs around to reach things she couldn't reach before. She learned how to unlock the front door. She figured out how to climb up on my extremely tall bad. She is like a baby spider man! She is so smart. I love to watch her learn and discover new things. Now I just need to start hanging stuff from my ceiling so she can't reach it.

Brynlee loves birds. I went to get a bird feeder for my porch but they were really expensive. So I bought some hummingbird nectar stuff for the already hanging humming bird feeder. My nectar must suck though because I have not seen one hummingbird. Maybe I'll try to make a bird feeder out of a pine cone and see if I can get some bird action on our porch that way.

School is going well. I'm not as terrified to take clients anymore. Still scared, but not as bad. Still managing to get horrible tips though. If I even get a tip at all. I'm not sure why I actually thought I'd make money at school. I make about enough to walk to 7-11 at lunch and get a soda. Which is better than nothing. What other school do you get to make tips at?!

We decided to try to become basketball fans. Right now is that weird period where football is coming to a close, and baseball hasn't started yet so we need something. I guess we picked a bad year to become Lakers fans! They are so terrible. Yet I do enjoy watching the game. Jimmy is in school 3 nights a week now. So one of my favorite things to do when I put Brynlee to bed when he is not home is to turn on a basketball game and curl up on the couch with a good book. I just finished reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It was phenomenal. Yet slightly disturbing so I can see why the movie is rated R. I'll have to wait until it comes out on TV so I can see it, because I really want to. Now I'm reading the first book in the Game of Thrones series. That is really good to. I just want to read all the time. I love it. :)

Liz in Space

2012-01-02T19:09:00.000-08:00

I've been called aloof a time or two. Or three or four or five. Ok I really am. I'm not sure what my deal is. Like today for example. Here are two classic occasions.

We took down our Christmas Tree today. :( I hate this day every year. It always makes me sooo sad. After Jimmy hauled Treebeard the 6th out of our house, a nice trail of needles were left in his wake. Ah here is where having a fake Christmas tree comes in handy. Anyhow I got the vacuum out and started vacuuming away. It seemed more like the vacuum was just running over the needles and breaking them up rather than sucking them up. I had just changed the bag though. So I thought maybe tree needles were really tough to vacuum and kept going over the same spot several times. Jimmy came up to me and looked at the vacuum. Turns out I had the setting on "hose" rather than "floor". Ah. That would explain why the needles were not going anywhere. Good one. He had a nice laugh at my expense. I had a nice laugh too. What an idiot.

Case in point number 2. We were cleaning the bathroom today. We were just about done when I started to swiffer the floor. It didn't seem to be getting really clean, but it looked better than it had before. I kept pushing the button that squirts out the cleaning fluid and went to town. Jimmy told me I needed to use more cleaning fluid. I told him I did not. Using too much of that fluid makes the floor sticky. He told me it didn't look like I was using any cleaning fluid and stopped me. Turns out the bottle of cleaning fluid was empty. Hmmm... so that is why it was taking so long to clean the floor. He had a good laugh at that one too.

So, basically I vacuumed the whole living room with the vacuum on the " hose" setting, and swiffered the whole bathroom with no swiffer fluid. Great! Talk about a space case. Good thing I have Jimmy to keep me on track. See this just proves that I shouldn't clean!

The Great Outdoors

2011-12-31T13:46:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year's Eve! It's days like this I'm reminded while Jimmy and I toil away to stay living in Southern California. With the roommates, and baby in room equaling no room for us it seems kind of crazy. But on a day like today it's worth it. It is absolutely beautiful out. There are not too many places you can wear a T shirt and flip flops on New Year's Eve! It feels like spring outside and staying indoors during weather like this should be a crime.

The whole family had lunch on the patio today. We even brought Mitzie out there, which is rare for her. Because she has a paranoid mother who keeps her indoors. When I adopted her I signed an adoption contract agreeing to keep her as an indoor cat. I'm a woman of my word. Plus there are all sorts of coyotes and things around here. I don't need to be kept up late worrying about where my cat is. The days of being kept up late worrying will come soon enough as Brynlee gets older. But once in a while we will let Mitzie out under supervision. She does enjoy it out there. She even stayed right on our patio, which is unusual. Because usually when she gets out she runs into a bush and will not come out unless Jimmy or I physically drag her out. Anyhow, we all sat outside an enjoyed this lovely weather.

But there are things to do, so we all came inside to be semi productive. Jimmy is at the store and Brynlee is sleeping. I'm trying to clean my room, but I have like outdoor ADD on days like this. I just want to go back outside. I don't want to be inside right now. I remembered a time when I was like 13 ish. My room was always a mess. Bless their hearts my parents tried, but it was just always messy. I'd clean it and it would get back to messy within probably 3 days or so. And it would continue to get worse until I was forced to clean it.

I remember one specific Saturday all my friends were going to Magic Mountain. I was not allowed to go, because I had to clean my room instead. As per usual, it looked like 3 tornadoes had gone through it. I was bummed to say the least. My Mom woke me up that Saturday morning by sitting on the edge of my bed. She told me it was too nice out to be stuck inside cleaning, and that I could go to Magic Mountain with my friends instead. I was so excited. I'm sure I eventually cleaned my room. But that is not the part of the story I remember. I remember thinking that day thinking I had the best Mom. She is pretty great. I hope I'll be like that with Brynlee when she gets older. It's important to be strict with your children. But it's also important to give a little sometimes. I love you Mom. :)

Unfortunately today I'm still being forced to clean my room. Now by my husband rather than parent. I guess some things never change! Hopefully I can get him to see the value of this beautiful weather, and how asinine it is to waste it cleaning!

Paying it Forward

2011-12-28T19:32:00.000-08:00

I try to do something special every year for Christmas. I usually buy a toy for a child from those little giving trees in Wal-Mart or something. One time they had a tree for seniors. I loved that one! It was for elderly people who are in nursing homes. It's easy to forget that sometimes old people need Christmas presents too.

Those little giving trees in Wal-Mart seemed to have gone away though, because I haven't seen them in a few years. I felt bad this year having not donating anything. But money is tight so I just shrugged it off. But the nagging feeling continued, and I felt like I needed to do something. Anything. Giving to other people is what Christmas is all about right?

I read stories of layaway accounts at K-Marts across the country being paid off by random strangers. What a great idea! I told Jimmy for sure we are going to do that next year. Probably not with a $200 one or something, but with a smaller one. Then my mother in law told me a story about how my sister in law Nancy had her food paid for by the car ahead of her in the Jack in the Box drive thru. What a great idea! I'd never heard of this before. But what a nice simple thing to do for someone to spread the Christmas spirit. To keep it going, Donna paid for the food for a car behind her in a different Jack in the Box drive thru. I decided this was a perfect thing for me to do. Simple and easy, and hopefully not too expensive.

On Christmas Eve Brynlee and I went to McDonalds. Of course I had to pick McDonalds since it's my favorite! We ordered a small soda, and when I got to the window to pay I told the man I wanted to pay for the car behind me. He looked at my kind of curiously at first, and then told me the man's total was $14. $14?! It was one man in a car, what did he order? I almost asked how much the car behind that one's total was. :) But I paid the $14, and booked it out of there. So awkward, I didn't need the man trying to thank me or something. Totally uncomfortable! As I was bolting away as fast as my car could take me, I saw the car behind me flash his lights to say thank you. Yay! I hope he keeps the train going and paid for someone else. I love Christmas time. Because people do things like that for each other, and it makes me so happy.

We had a great Christmas. That will have to be a whole different post in itself. Brynlee was spoiled rotten. Big surprise there!

I'm off this whole week, so I decided to run a stupid errand I've been dreading. For about 19 months. I never got a copy of Brynlee's birth certificate when she was born. She was born in LA County, and the only way to get a copy of it was to either fill out a form, get it notarized and mail it in. Or, to drive to downtown LA in person and get it there. Ugh. Neither of those are very appealing. Today I bit the bullet. I dragged Carla with me, and we drove to LA to get a copy. We only got lost about 10 times. That stupid city! I HATE driving down there! I'm so not a city driver. All the traffic and people stress me out. After a trip through the ghetto ( seriously, we were lucky to get out alive), china town and echo park we made it to our destination. In a very round about way. When I tried to pay for the birth certificate (because it costs $19. To get my own child's birth certificate) they told me they don't take Visa. They only take Master Card, Discover and Amex. Discover? Is that credit card even still out there? Who doesn't take Visa? Carla had to write a check for me because I didn't have my check book. What a mess. We finally made it home, after getting lost about 10 more times on the way home. Not that any of this is surprise to me. I practically get lost in my own house. So a trip to LA wouldn't be complete without a few wrong turns!

Great to be Grateful

2011-12-21T22:13:00.000-08:00

So, in case you couldn't tell from my previous post, I've been feeling a little sorry for myself recently. I knew life would be tricky being in school and trying to take care of a family while also trying to make ends meet. But it really is hard, and sometimes it bums me out. I'm still completely happy with my decisions to go back to school, but it is rough. And unfortunately it seems like the holiday season magnifies that. It seems like in some aspects we CANNOT catch a break, and I don't understand why. But I don't have to understand why. I need to have faith that it will get better.

So, rather than being a mope I decided to do something about it. I found this challenge in the New Era Magazine. That is a magazine the LDS church publishes for teenagers, so I often refer to it to teach my Sunday School lessons.

The challenge was to write 100 things are you are grateful for. I know 100 seems a bit overwhelming. When I told Jimmy we were going to write 100 things we were grateful for, he stared at me like I was crazy. I did this same activity with my Sunday school class, and they too looked at me like I'd grown a 3rd eye. But it's not so bad when you follow the lists below:

•Write 10 living people you are grateful for.

•Write 10 people who have died you are grateful for.

•Write 10 physical abilities you are grateful for.

•Write 10 material possessions you are grateful for.

•Write 10 things about nature you are grateful for.

•Write 10 things about today you are grateful for.

•Write 10 places on earth you are grateful for.

•Write 10 modern-day inventions you are grateful for.

•Write 10 foods you are grateful for.

•Write 10 things about the gospel you are grateful for.

For those who are not LDS you can modify the last one to be something like 10 things about your religion you are grateful for, etc. Or just come up with 10 more foods you are grateful for, because the food were really easy for me to list.

After Jimmy and I listed all our things, we shared them with each other. It was fun to see what the other person thought of. And it made me feel happy. And grateful. We are keeping our lists, and we are going to refer to them when we are feeling defeated by life. I was glad Jimmy was a trooper and did this activity with me, despite the whole having to come up with 100 things. I think it made both of us feel a lot better. I recommend it to anyone out there who is having a rough time. It really helps!

I Wish

2011-12-17T21:58:00.000-08:00

I wish...

I could be different.

That I could be organized, and stay that way.

That I could be satisfied with what I have, and not desire more.

That when I get asked awkward questions about my religion I could answer them gracefully, and not stumble all over my words.

That I had more patience with my family. Mainly one little member who makes a mess everywhere and seems to really know how to push buttons.

That I was fearless, and not always worrying about consequences.

That I knew how to communicate better.

That I had the desire to eat healthy and work out. But right now, I just don't have it.

That I stood up for myself more, and was more honest with my feelings.

That I could prevent myself from crying at really in opportune times.

That I was happy with the way that I am, and didn't want to be different.

A Peak

2011-12-15T21:08:00.000-08:00

I get to stare in a mirror all day long. I'm not sure how healthy it is. I pick and poke and prod. I notice things about my appearance I never noticed before. I wonder about appearances in general.

Looks are for the most part based on luck. Some are lucky enough to look a certain way. Some are not. It's like a genetic lottery. There are people who no matter what they do will never be considered "attractive" by society. And that sucks. Who gets to decide what is and isn't attractive anyhow? As I'm surrounded by all these fresh faced youth I can't help but wonder. Inevitably you hit a peak with your appearance. A point where you stop getting better looking, and it all starts going downhill. When is that peak? I think I may have passed it. That sucks too.

I notice bags that were not there before. Wrinkles that were not there before. Hmm... I guess it was my 27 years of hard living? Ha ha. When people tell me I look like I'm in my early 20's I get excited. When did that start? Me wanting to look younger as opposed to older. I had a client ask me if I live at home with my parents the other day. No offense to 27 year olds who do live with their parents, but she made me laugh. I told her I was married with a baby, and she thought I was joking. I'll take that as a compliment.

I find myself feeling slightly lonely in my class. I'm used to this, being LDS and all. But it's still tough sometimes. I'm just different. I don't miss school because I'm too hung-over from the night before. I don't go smoke pot on breaks. I don't have hilarious stories to tell of what I did when I was completely wasted last weekend. Being old and LDS I do really stand alone. Like the cheese in the Farmer in the Del ( yes I think I'm funny, I'm cracking myself up right now). I don't have another choice though. I refuse to lower my standards because everyone else has. But it gets lonely and I was feeling it today.

I'm working on not passing judgment on my classmates. Just because my physical peak has passed (sob sob) doesn't mean my personality peak has. I can continue to perfect that one. And that is the quality that counts anyway! I'm grateful to have this opportunity to be a good influence on my classmates. To shower them with my wisdom, and to hopefuly lead by example.

I did a men's haircut today. My client was the nicest man ever. Seriously. Who knew people could be so nice? He really made my day. Hopefully one day I can make someone's day with my niceness. It's all part of my goal to reach my personality peak. And to stay on that one!

The Christmas Cactus

2011-12-14T19:43:00.000-08:00

I've had some trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year. It seems like as each year passes, the less excited I get. It bums me out. I guess I really am growing up. Or grown up already.

Maybe once Brynlee is old enough to actually do stuff it will be fun. As of right now she just makes a mess of everything and my OCD strikes and I freak out a little. I want to get our Christmas Tree ( no we don't have one yet, we are going this Saturday) and decorate it while she is sleeping. And then gate it off so she can't touch it. I know, I'm horrible. But she will make it a mess and I want it to be nice and pretty, the way I want it decorated. I always go around behind Jimmy and move his ornaments into better spots. I've got issues...

Something that does get my excited is my Christmas Cactus. A few years ago my Grandma sent me this Christmas Cactus. She lives far away, but always sends a Christmas present. She is such a unique gift giver. She puts a lot of thought into her presents. I don't exactly have a green thumb, so when I opened up this cactus I wasn't sure what she was thinking. It was pretty, as pretty as a cactus can be. But it was just that. A cactus. After a week or so it got these pretty little flowers all over it. A week or so later they all fell off and it was just a plain cactus again. Not sure what to do with it, I put it on my window sill. Shockingly I managed to keep it alive for a whole year. Grandma sure is wise to give me a plant that is hard to kill! Anyhow the next year, around Christmas time it started to bloom with pretty white flowers. The flowers lasted for a few weeks and then eventually fell off, leaving the plant looking just like a plain cactus again.

It did the same thing each December for the next two years. It still amazes me. How does it know to bloom during December? How is it a plant only blooms 1 time per year? So strange. This is the fourth year I've had it, and it's little buds are popping up and getting ready to bloom again. I'll post a picture when it does. But I wake up each day excited to see if it's bloomed. I LOVE that cactus. The fact that it blooms once per year makes it that much more special. It is by far one of my favorite presents I've ever received. Who would have thought I'd say that about a cactus? Every year when it blooms I think about my Grandma and it makes me smile.

A Little Fib

2011-12-11T19:11:00.001-08:00

I pride myself on my honesty. I really try hard not to lie to people. I try to be truthful in all my dealings. But sometimes I'm faced with a situation when there is no easy answer.

I was faced with one of these recently. In order to spare hurt feelings, I told a fib. I was invited somewhere my friend was not. I knew it would hurt her feelings, so I fibbed about it. Well, long story short my fib blew up in my face and ended up hurting her feelings even more. Failure. Now I hurt her and look like a liar on top of that. Ugh.

It's not like my fib benefited me in anyway either. Honestly I was just trying to spare feelings and not build up animosity. I should have known. I did know. Lying is never the right answer. But then I'm left to wonder, what is?

I find myself struggling recently. I don't understand why everyone can't just get along with each other. I have lots of fragments in my group of friends and I don't get it. I can get along with a wet paper sack (usually), so why can't everyone else do the same? Jimmy so kindly explained to me that to want everyone to get along is to live in a fantasy land. Some personalities just go better with others, end of story. Ok I'm not stupid. I get that. But why can't everyone have my personality. The get along with everyone kind. :) Ha ha.

I've realized that I should have just told my fore mentioned friend the truth and hurt her feelings. But it still sucks for me. Because who likes to hurt someone's feelings? Not me, that is for sure. I hate being in the middle of these things, and I seem to find myself there often these days. Like a liaison between different friends and different people. But I don't want to be in the middle anymore.

A girl at school said something really nice to me the other day. She told me that I always compliment people, and that I'm really nice. Yay! Such a nice thing to say. I do try to compliment people. If I see something I like, I say it. Why not? I love getting compliments, so why not give them out? Except I told Jimmy this story and he said that I'm a people pleaser. Ouch. I can always count on him for a nice dose of reality. Which to be honest I usually need. Ok, so he is right. But is that so bad? Wanting to please people?

I think that is the key to why I find myself stuck in the middle of people who cannot get along. I'm trying to please everyone, and by doing so getting stuck in between. I'm not having too much fun there these days though. I'm brewing up some New Year's resolutions. I think one of them will to be to focus on pleasing one person for now. Me. Yeah how about that. Maybe then I'll be able to get myself out of the middle of these things.

The moral of the story is this: Fibs never work. Ever. I need to remember that next time I think of doing it. It's not worth it. And if you like something about someone, say it. It makes them feel good, and it makes you feel good too. If you are lucky they might even call you nice. ;)

The Fever

2011-12-07T19:58:00.001-08:00

Ok so I might have it a little bit. Just a little. Or maybe a lot. It's funny I never thought I would feel this way again. But I do. I'm starting to really itch for a baby.

Pre huge life changing decision of going back to school Jimmy and I planned to try to get pregnant again the beginning of next year. But after I quit and started school that changed a little bit. Not a whole lot, but it got pushed back a little. Having a baby in the middle of school would NOT be a good idea. I'm not sure how fun being hugely pregnant would be either. So we need to try to plan this a little.

The whole planning of having a baby is comical when you think about it. Just because we got pregnancy fairly quickly before doesn't mean we will get pregnant that soon again. You really can't plan. It will happen when it's supposed to. But we will start trying mid 2012. Or so. I keep thinking how fortunate we were to conceive Brynlee so easily. It's really not fair. Not fair to those couples who have been trying for so long. I feel like we just cut in line. And will likely cut in line again.

Mid 2013 will not be the most convenient time to have a baby either. Really there is not a convenient time. But we will make it work, because that is what we feel we need to do. This past while has really been a lesson in faith. I'm having faith that I'm making the right decisions with things. I'm not sure I've ever prayed as hard as I have about the recent decisions I've had to make. But I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to. No matter how silly or illogical it seems. I've been called crazy before, and it for sure will happen again.

But right now I'm baby crazy. I look at Brynlee and I can't believe what a beautiful little girl my baby has turned into. It goes by so fast. You blink and they've turned from a baby to a toddler. I can't wait to do things better with the next one. Hopefully. I mean next time I'll have Brynlee to help me. Right? Oh that's not how it works...hmmm...

Here's to enjoying watching Brynlee grow into a wonderful little helper. And here's to enjoying the simplicity of one child. I'm sure the next one will be here before I know it, and I'll think back to how easy 1 kid was!

Missing a Day

2011-12-01T21:51:00.001-08:00

Brynlee has not been feeling well the past few days. I hate cold and flu season. I hated it before, but with a kid in day care it's 10000 times worse. Anyhow Jimmy stayed home with her on Tuesday, but she was still not doing real great. Of course we brought her to the Dr. Would you expect anything less? When that kid looks at me sideways, to the Dr we go. I'll probably break a record for how many times we've brought her in.

Just a viral infection, and nothing we can do about it. Which is good I guess. It could have been worse. Like that time she had to be admitted to the hospital worse. Yeah... I guess I'm grateful for the common cold after all. But I stayed home with her on Wednesday, and missed my first day of school. It's weird how nuts I am about missing school. Attendance is a big deal there, and I don't want to miss anything. But, if I have to miss a day I can't think of a better reason then to take care of a sick baby.

Now I'm just behind some of the other people, but that is ok. However I do hate being behind. Our school is going to do the hair and make up for the show Hairspray at Moorpark College next month, so I'm going to see if I can do that to make up some of my hours.

Brynlee is feeling better today, and that makes me happy. I really really hate it when she is sick. I get this panicked feeling. That it's something more serious and I'm not going to catch it until it's too late. I take her temperature every 20 min like a psychopath. If I'm home with her I just stare at her, and check her while she is napping like 50 times. I might be a little bit paranoid. Hopefully that will wear off a bit. I'm sure by the next kid I'll just toss a tissue at her and call it a day!

Lastly, I'm going to end with a quote I got from a LDS talk. The talk is about children, and it really hit home for me. It says:

"Children are not what you squeeze in when you have time, they are what you were given time for."

My baby needed me, so I did what I needed to do. The world kept turning. Everyone moved right along without me. I got to spend the day with one of my favorite people (and by far the most entertaining person I know), and it was totally worth missing 1 day of school.

When Life Gives you Lemons

2011-11-30T20:12:00.001-08:00

In lieu of me not having a job, I decided to try to do a Christmas craft fair this year to earn some extra money around the holidays. I recruited my friend Carla, and with the guidance and help of the craftiest lady I know ( aka my Mother in Law, Donna) we set out on a journey. The fair we rented a booth from had 2500 people attend last year, so we made a lot of stuff. Well, long story short due to some freak California weather it actually rained and our fair was canceled. Yes, it rains probably 20 days a year in CA and it rained on our fair day. Bummer. Big time.

So then we were stuck with about 300 pieces of inventory and a deficit of money in which we spent to buy supplies to make the aforementioned pieces. Hmm... not what I was hoping for. So we had to act fast.

We tried to have a garage sale style boutique in Carla's front yard the week after our canceled craft fair. We managed to make our money back via that, so at least we weren't in the whole anymore. But unless I wanted to give Jimmy a set of blocks that spelled "Noel" on them, we still had a problem. We hadn't made any profit!

I tried to stay positive. But it was hard when it looked like months and months and months of work would be all for nothing. I'm a firm believer of the saying " When God closes a door he opens a window". We just didn't have a window yet. And then we got one. A lady emailed Carla because she had seen our add on Craig's List. She invited us to rent a booth at a different craft fair they were having in Simi Valley. We gladly accepted, and had an extremely successful day. We actually made a profit, a pretty decent sized one. Yay! I needed it. We were also invited to participate in a different fair this weekend. This will be our last attempt to sell all of our stuff.

So things worked out. It wasn't as easy as we originally thought. We were hoping for one weekend of exhibiting, and now this last one will be our third. But I can't complain. Maybe we would not have sold anything at the fair that was rained out, and we have been more successful this way. Who knows. We can speculate all we want. But we have already made more money that we originally hoped for, so anything after this will be icing on the cake.

I'm going to switch gears a bit here. Last night was the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Why? Why do networks broadcast that every year? I guess it gets a lot of viewers, but for the life of me I can't understand who. Unless maybe it's men wanting to rationalize watching soft porn? I get the Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail. I didn't sign up for it. But yet my mailbox is stuffed with 99% naked anomalies every season. I don't read it. It takes a one way trip to my trash can. I honestly think things like that are NOT healthy for women. If you are someone who can look at those catalogs and watch those fashion shows and not have suicidal thoughts more power to you. I am not. They make me feel terrible about myself, and I don't like that. So I did not tune in last night. Nor do I ever intend to tune in to that. Perhaps that networks could air a piece about someone doing something more worth while than strutting in a high heels and a thong for the holidays. Something that actually makes people feel good about themselves. Makes them want to help others. I'm sure that would not get as many viewers, but it sure would get mine!

Feeling Thankful

2011-11-26T22:41:00.001-08:00

On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving I was given the opportunity to participate in a Cut A Thon. It's this thing my school does at the Simi Valley Senior Center where we do free haircuts and manicures.

A few classmates and I were chosen to go, and were assigned to man the manicure table. I think I probably did 13 manicures that day. We were on a wait the whole time, from 9am to 3pm. At the beginning of the day I started with a list of the manicure steps next to me. Now, I could do a manicure in my sleep! :) Luckily my nail painting seemed to get much better as the day wore on as well...because it needed it! I'm thankful for the manicuring practice, as well as the opportunity to serve. So many seniors left that day feeling happy with their new looks, and I'm grateful I got to be a part of it. I truly do love giving service, and wish I had the initiative to do it more often.

Since Wal-Mart opened at 10pm on Thanksgiving this year, It thought it would be smart to join my friend and " run in there for a few things". Yes I said those words. Ha ha, that alone shows how ignorant I am when it comes to black Thursday night/Friday shopping. When I had to practically park in a different zip code that should have been sign number 1 that I was in for a treat. But I trekked to the store anyway. They should have had a tram for goodness sake! When I entered the store, there were no aisles. Just a moving mob of people. My friend and I jumped right in, and moved along with them. Shopping basically consisted of grabbing things as we moved with the mob on by. There was no time for loitering or examining something, you just had to grab it and keep moving to avoid getting trampled. Only a few fights broke out while we were there. I guess that is not too bad? There was event security everywhere, directing people, snapping at people; ie me, because I apparently was not moving fast enough for his liking. Nice Christmas spirit!

I managed to collect a few things, and then we had to wait in line for 1 hour to by them. By this point it was 2am and I was thinking this whole idea was a mistake of epic proportions, and was desperately wishing I'd stayed tucked in bed instead. That was the first time I've gone to Wal-Mart on black Friday, and I think it might be my last. But I'm thankful that I got to take part in such an experience.

I got to spend a lot of time with Brynlee this week, and I'm thankful for that as well. She continues to amaze/aggravate/entertain and awe me with her cuteness everyday. And we had lots of fun together. I think. She might be ready to play with her friends though, because I'm sure I'm not nearly as entertaining as they are.

I'm thankful for this time of year, that allows me to reflect on what really matters in life and reminds me of all the things I've been blessed with.

I'm just feeling thankful in general. And I'm thankful to feel that way. :)

Day of Firsts

2011-11-19T01:25:00.001-08:00

We have moved out to the senior floor at school. It's terrifying! But so much fun at the same time. We had our stations assigned to us, and I was lucky enough to get a really good one. Yay!

I did my first real updo, on my own. Ta da!

No book. No instructions. No help. Just me. And a teasing comb. :)

Thursday they also shot a commercial for our school, so they warned us on Wed that we might be in it. We were told to make sure we all look good! I'm in a prime spot, and I'm now sitting next to a girl who is really pretty and really good. So I just had a feeling...and I was right. My teacher came by and wanted them to film me dong the above updo. Oh boy. I'm not good in these situations. As the camera crew was all up in my business I tried to act natural. And probably failed miserably. This commercial will be shown on our local TV channels as well as in our movie theaters. I'm not sure if they will use my footage. I guess we'll see. I better not be sitting in a movie and see myself pop up on the screen with a big old double chin or something though!

Thursday I also had my first real client. A manicure. I. Was. Petrified. And was not doing well at all. But the lady was old and really nice. I just kept her talking so she was too distracted to see how bad her nails looked. After several coats of polish and a top coat they did not look too bad. But she gave me a $1 tip. Yay! $1 on a $6 manicure is pretty good! I have my first $1 on my fridge. I should get a frame for it.

I also went to the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn. At about 10:30 I was regretting my decision big time. As I sat exhausted in the freezing cold. But it was fun! And the movie was pretty good. The whole experience just reminded me of how annoying teenagers are though. Jeez. Was I ever that bad. They are so irritating. I tried to go to bed tonight at 8pm to catch up on sleep. But now I sit awake at 1:30 am blogging soo...my schedule is all messed up. Good thing I'm off all of next week, with plenty of time to change it. :)

After Midnight

2011-11-14T19:27:00.001-08:00

I agreed to go with my friend to a midnight showing of Breaking Dawn on Thursday/Friday. At the time it seemed like an ok idea. I do have school on Friday, but hey! I can do it! However the more I think about it, the more tired I get. I probably will not be in bed until like 3am. If I'm lucky. And will have to get up at 6:30 7ish the next day. Hmm...Yeah whose idea was this anyway? I'm too old to do stuff like this.

I got excited at the prospect. I used to go to midnight showings all the time in my yester years. And they were fun. Of course I could sleep in the next day. And didn't have a baby to wake me up. Turns out I have a test on Friday. Oh boy. I guess I'll have lots of studying time in line for the movie? Because that is part of the experience. If I could just wake up at 11:30 and hop over to the movie it wouldn't be that bad. But you have to sit in line for 3 hours before the movie starts. So you get good seats. For the movie that you could just go see at a decent hour the next day. :)

Despite my fatigue I'm sure I'll have a great time. Even if the movie isn't that good, I'll have fun in line. We can play line games. Phase 10, Uno...maybe I'll even bring Life since I cannot get ANYONE to ever play that game (Audrey, where are you when I need you?). I can't remember the last time I stayed up past midnight. Let's see how much pop this 27 year old body has left!

Sink or Swim

2011-11-11T11:24:00.001-08:00

We are getting ready to move to the senior floor. Like in a couple of weeks. I'm going to have to start doing hair on real live people. That are not my friends. It's nerve racking!

They say we are ready. But I don't feel ready. I've always been like this. Some people in my class are really excited, and ready to dive in head first. Not me. I'd be happy to stay in the hairstyling shallow end for a while. Until I really feel comfortable with what I'm doing. But this is how I am. I was like this when I started waitressing. And I did really suck in the beginning. But then I got better. And I was like this when I got back from travel agent school. And I sucked at that too. But then I got pretty good.

I hate sucking. I hate having to be bad at something. I hate feeling inadequate. Practice makes perfect. But I don't want to practice, I just want to be perfect. Can't it work that way? No? It's funny because I can't think of a single time I actually sank when it was sink or swim time. I might have had some trouble, and might have gone under a bit but I've always come out swimming.

If it was up to me I'd probably practice for the next 5 months. So I need someone to shove me out there. I need someone to help me see what I'm capable of. Otherwise I'd never figure it out for myself. I'm grateful for this opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and see what I'm made of. Old ladies that go to Simi Valley Beauty School, here I come! :)

On a different note, I find myself alone with Brynlee a lot these days. It still amazes me how she can take a clean room and make it a complete and utter disaster in 20 seconds flat. So I've tried to come up with creative ways to keep her entertained so she doesn't constantly destroy my house.

This was Monday nights attempt:

A fort! We had a lot of fun in this thing. I also realized that I have no sheets. That is why we had to make a fort out of a fleecy blanket. Which led to some pretty crazy staticy fort hair!

We had fun in our fort, but Mitzie enjoyed it more than anyone! She was having the time of her life in there.

After we played in the fort, we watched a movie with Robbie and Garrett. Brynlee decided to enjoy a mid movie snack... some toes! Of course she had to rip off her socks to get to them, which is no problem at all.

Mmmm! She had a good time sucking on those things. At least it kept her out of trouble for a few min.

Some other troublesome instances of note within the past week:

-Came home to find Brynlee coloring all over the floor, book case and her face with a pink highlighter. Jimmy was supposed to be on baby duty for that one... Luckily the highlighter came off the floor and the bookcase really well. It took a while to get it off her face.

-Found Brynlee wondering around the house with a big old pair of scissors...yikes! Not sure where she found those.

-Went to check the mail and walked in the room to find Brynlee naked trying to shove her diaper in the diaper genie. She did have Pajamas on at one point, but who knows where those ended up.

*sigh*. She keeps me on my toes, that is for sure!

Large and in Charge

2011-11-05T19:58:00.000-07:00

We were at Target today scouting out some new shoes for Brynlee. My wonderful Mom has offered to purchase Brynlee her next pair of Stride Rites. So we will go to the mall for those next weekend, but Jimmy and I went today to scope out some church shoes and maybe some slippers.

We were in the shoe section and Brynlee was running a muck as per usual. Another couple came in with a little girl who looked to be around Brynlee's age. This little girl was very well behaved, and sat quietly while her parents tried shoes on her.

I saw them reach for a size 4 shoe and figured that this little girl must be quite a bit younger than Brynlee. Considering Brynlee wore a size 4 shoe about 7 months ago...

I asked them how old their daughter was and they said she was 20 months. Hmm... I held the size 7 ( yes size 7) shoes we were picking out for Brynlee in my hand and looked at them. The lady asked me how old Brynlee was and I almost lied and told her Brynlee was like 3 to make it seem like my child is a normal size. But that would make her behavior seem even worse. So I told her that Brynlee was 17 months old and took her curious stare like a champ.

Maybe Brynlee's size isn't leveling out after all. :)

Brynlee's size is not the only large thing about her. She has a large personality as well. With a large baby temper. And large need to explore, help, investigate and do things independently of any help. She is a firecracker. My day care lady tells me she has a " fun personality". I'm sure that is what she calls it to my face. Once I leave the room I bet the word "fun" is substituted for something else. :)

But Brynlee also gives large hugs, really large sloppy kisses and large smiles whenever you hide from her and pop out of places. She has a large heart, and always shares large portions of her food with you. She just expects you to share with her when you have something tasty. As mentioned on my previous post.

The Scavenger

2011-10-29T22:16:00.000-07:00

Brynlee is pretty funny. I think kids at this age are funny for a reason. It's all part of the divine plan to make you actually keep your kid. :)

Just kidding...well sort of. Depends on the day.

Anyhow, Brynlee is such a riot right now. She copies everything anyone does. Which is good and bad. It just means I need to watch what I do! She loves to eat. But not so much her own food. She wants everyone else's instead. She will eat her food, and then cry to get out of her chair. As soon as you let her out, she will come over and beg for your food. Which we all give to her because she is so cute. She is like a little puppy or something.

She will share her food to. I find goldfish crackers on all the chairs around the house because she is trying to feed them to Mitzie... Mitzie is not amused. At least Brynlee has the right idea. But sharing can lead to issues.

When I brought her to day care the other day she marched right in there ( she does actually march in there, like she owns the place) went up to another kid's tray and took some food right off. She shoved it in her mouth and said "mmmm". Oh boy. What have I created here?

When I went to pick her up from day care she did the same thing. Joan ( my daycare lady) told me that at lunch time she will say she is done. So they let her out of her chair. The next thing you know all the kids are screaming because Brynlee is going around eating all thier food. Oops. My bad. I guess I shouldn't have taught her to eat of other people's plates? Because now she wants to eat off of everyone's plates!

She is such a helper. Anything I'm doing she has to be right in the thick of it, helping ( usually not really being so helpful, but she is trying). She helps me change laundry from the washer to the dryer, she helps me make sure all the doors are closed around the house. If I give her something and tell her to throw it away she usually does it. Sometimes she gets distracted on the way to the trashcan.

Shoes and socks still come off at first chance. Despite the cold weather, because it has been really chilly here recently. I'll have pants and socks and a sweater on and she will be barefoot because she WILL NOT leave anything on her feet. Crazy kid. She is a nutty as ever!

Motivate Me

2011-10-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

I had grandiose ideas about how my life would change when I started school. I'd have more free time. Time to work out, catch up on correspondence and clean. Well... I do have more time. But, it doesn't mean that any of the aforementioned get done.

I wake up each morning thinking about all the things I'm going to do when I get home from school. And I usually get home from school, scrounge up some dinner and then just veg out until I fall asleep watching TV at 8:30pm. I'm not so productive these days.

I'm not sure where my motivation went, but let me tell you. It's not here. It's like I used it all up, and now there is nothing left. Laundry needs to be folded, homework needs to be done and all I want to do is just sit. And sit some more. I'm worn out!

Having a toddler is exhausting. My respect goes out to the stay at home moms with toddlers. I'm not sure how you survive it everyday. Or how your toddler survives it for that matter. Brynlee goes non stop and it seems like I turn around and suddenly a horrific mess appears. I blink my eyes and she is running with scissors she stole from who knows where. She is getting taller there fore able to reach things she couldn't before. The things on my table are now in the very center, and all the stuff on the counters is pushed back as far as possible. And she still manages to get to it.

I find myself picking my battles more and more often. If she is getting into something that won't make too much of a mess, I just let her go at it. I don't have the energy to keep up any more. I am TIRED.

It seems like I go through waves like this and my motivation to do anything besides lay around leaves me. It will be back eventually. I'm just not sure my house will survive until that time!

Common Misconceptions

2011-10-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted a career that had nice perks for me. And my friends. I thought I hit this with the travel agent thing. But being a travel agent has surprisingly few perks. And for my friends, even less perks. Besides my knowledge of airline policies and how to work the system, I didn't have much else to offer.

Being a hairdresser will surely be different. I've been excited to see people practically salivate when I tell them I'm going to beauty school. I guess with this economy everyone is trying to save a buck or two. And hair can get expensive, so having a friend in the business would be handy.

However, people seem to forget that I don't know what I'm doing yet. Just because I've gone to school for 1.5 months does not mean I'm skilled enough to tackle all hurtles hair has to offer. I think I have at least 10 people waiting for me to gain some knowledge so I can do their hair for them. And the amount of people willing to let me "practice" on them is almost funny! It's perfect though, because I need the practice. Believe me!

About 2 weeks ago my friend Chloe called me excited to color her hair brown. She has been blond with a partial weave for a while, and was looking for something more cost effective. Which I totally agree with because the amount of money she was spending on highlights was comical. Anyhow, she wants me to color her hair for her. That night. With some hesitation I told her we had not covered that chapter in my class yet and I didn't know anything about hair dye. She was eager and excited though so we headed to Target and just got a box. She HATES red hair, so we went with a ashy brown. No my personal preference, but hey different strokes for different folks right?

Except this stroke was not so good. Because by the time we were done she had some dark hair. But it was also green. Yes it was green brown hair. I was flabbergasted. After doing some googling, it turns out that when going from blond to brown if red is absent hair will turn green. Good to know! Somehow my friend Tessa got involved. Tessa has an aunt who does hair, so with her coaching Tessa thought it would be a good idea to go to the beauty supply store and buy some professional hair color to fix it. At this point I removed myself from any liability. Have you ( with the exception of actual hair dressers) ever looked at the hair color in the beauty supply store? It's like it's in Greek! Numbers and letters and things you have to mix together. I tried to read the hair color chapter in my book, and that might as well have been in German too.

So I agreed to go to the supply store, and help try to fix Chloe's hair but stated for the record if things went awry it was not my fault. We bought what we thought were the right products and went home to try to fix poor Chloe. After coloring Chloe's hair the second time things went from bad to worse.... she now had red roots with green hair. What? What the heck happened!? We were all sorts of confused. Despite Chloe being ready for the Holiday season early, things were not good. I called my friend Stephanie who is a hair dresser to see if we could fix this. I guess there is something worse than green hair after all. Stephanie walked us though the steps of what we should do to get Chloe back to a normal color. She said, " You guys aren't using a level 20 developer are you?". Nope we weren't. We were using a level 30. I guess you are supposed to use a level 10 developer when going from light hair to dark hair. Who knew? Not us, that is for sure. I told Stephanie this and we had a good laugh. At least we found out why crazy things were happening on Chloe's head. The third attempt at coloring was the charm, and Chloe looks beauteous with her brown hair.

Now we are actually covering hair color in my class. I can't help but feel like I have a little more experience than some of the other girls. You live and learn. Hopefully I won't make that mistake again. And at least now if someone wants fun festive Christmas hair I know how to give it to them! :)

The Kid in Me

2011-10-19T20:50:00.000-07:00

I get concerned sometimes. I worry that being surrounded by 18 year olds all day everyday will have a negative effect on me. It's funny how when you are adults a decade between friends is no biggie. But, when I was 14 these girls were 5....yeah. I could have been babysitting them! If I think about it too much I want to put my guard up a little. Can I really become good friends with someone who was born in the 90's for goodness sake? Who never watched My Little Pony's, or never had *NSYNC posters on their walls? I guess age is not a big deal, but I feel weird. Almost motherly towards these girls.

Then again, I'm not so sure their 18 years has matured past my 27. Somewhere along the line I become really competitive with things. I'm going to blame living in the house of Cuillard, aka the most competitive family on the planet. Because I never used to be like this. Refer to the lack of natural ability post before. I'm alright with admitting that when it came to winning things, I didn't do that a ton.

But when I'm at school I NEED to do better than everyone else. I need to finish my haircuts faster, get better test scores, receive more praise for my perm wrapping. It's really an ugly trait. We have these awards ceremonies at my school where the teachers nominate students for...well awards! Since we are considered "freshmen" we can't get these awards yet. We will be eligible when we move out to the senior floor. But yesterday we had the opportunity to sit through the awards. I was practically salivating. Every time an award was handed out I thought to myself " I want that one, no I want that one, ok I want that one too". I immediately started hatching a grand plan on how I would woo my teachers into nominating me.

Maybe I'm attention starved? Who knows. I do think it has to do with the idea of being lost in a class of 28 people. I don't want to just be a nameless face among my many peers. I want to stand out. Since I don't have clothes to do that, maybe I'm looking to academic success to set me apart.

When it comes to my class, who is the more mature one?. I'm sure the 18 year olds are not giving their peers frantic glances when one of them is finishing a blow dry faster. And they probably don't post their A+ tests on their fridge either.

On a new topic, the Rangers made it to the World Series! They were not my first pick to play there, but their were my second so yay! Lets go Rangers! :)

Well Kept Company

2011-10-14T22:47:00.000-07:00

Soooo, have I mentioned school at all? Oh yes, I have. About 400 times. And it's only been 1 month. Well, when you spend as much time there as I do it's no wonder.

I guess I could talk about how Brynlee has decided to remove her shoes, every time I put them on her. She has always taken them off, but now it's just exhausting. We ran errands tonight, 4 different stores. Had to put her shoes back on 5 different times....good thing her shoes are Velcro!

Anyhow, so school. On the first day they kept telling us to stay positive. Have a good attitude. I was so jazzed that day I didn't understand why anyone would have a bad attitude. Well people do. Have some bad attitudes that is. We have some serious complainers in there. It's funny how contagious complaining is. It's like once you start, it just rolls out. I don't want to get caught in that. I want to stay positive as much as I can.

So, I try not to surround myself with these people. And anytime someone complains to me about something, I counter with a positive about the same thing. I will keep a good attitude. As much as possible. School can be very frustrating, and I get that. But complaining won't solve anything. It's funny that I'm sitting here complaining about complainers. Ah the irony. :)

I find myself doing this not just in school anymore though. Whenever somone says something negative I try to counter with something positive. It's probably really really annoying. Maybe that is why I have to harass people into being my friends (refer to last post). :)

The gossip continues to worsen, so anytime someone says something bad about someone I try to counter that with something good about them too. This is equally annoying I'm sure. Pretty soon I'll have no negative remarks to counter because no one will be talking to me. Then I will have to harass them into being friendly ( again, refer to last post).

On and end note, I'm going to recap the text message conversation I had with a random stranger last night:

Stranger: Can you bring chicken salad on Saturday?
Me: Who is this?
Stranger: 26 cent
Me: I think you have the wrong number
Stranger: This is not Eden?
Me: No, but good luck with the chicken salad
Stranger: thanks

1 hour later....

Stranger: Can you bring chicken salad on Saturday?
Me. Still the wrong number
Stranger: Darn, sorry

That made me laugh and I'm not sure why. Maybe I should have offered to bring the chicken salad. It was a local number and obviously this person really wanted it!

Expect to not Accept

2011-10-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

I think I'm pretty good at reading people. I can usually tell when someone is upset, or angry. Or annoyed. There are some people in my class who are pretty quiet. Not un friendly, but just shy. Timid maybe. They probably want to be left alone. I've realized I don't do that. I just pepper them with questions, probably obnoxiously so until they come out of their shell. And they usually do. They might try to one word answer me, and that will de rail me. For a while. And then I'll be back at them the next day. Until they fold and become friendly with me. It's like forced friendship.. the best kind! ;)

I don't know why I do this. It's like I want to be friends with everyone, and that idea that someone may not be friends with me is un acceptable. We got yet another complaint from our HOA. Our whole house is pretty sure we know who is doing the complaning. One man in particular seems to have a grudge against us. He is the grouchiest crochetiest old man. There is no reason for him to not like us, but he just gives us dirty looks all the time. And marches by our house, probably inspecting things to see if there is anything else he can complain about.

Because I'm crazy, it has been my mission since day one to break this old man. I smile at him, he frowns at me. I say "hi" to him, and he literally ignores me. I walk by his house all bubbly and friendly smiling at him while he shoots me looks of death. I will not yield. Other members in my house have different ideas on how to break this old man. Let me tell you, they do not involve smiling at him! But I'm determined to get him to like us. I refuse to accept that he just hates us ( because really, at this point it's probably gotten to hate status).

I know I should probably just leave these people be. Trying to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you can be exhausting. Let me tell you. But I can't let it go. It's the people pleaser coming out in full force.

I'm the same way when people do not get along. Or are in a fight. Even if I'm not involved what so ever I rack my brain at night thinking of ways they can be friends again. I just want everyone to get along with each other. Can't we all just be friends? Everything is so much nicer when we all get along. Is that so wrong?

I sat next to the nerdiest kid in science in 10th grade. Man, poor kid just kept to himself and did not talk to anyone. Well, that was not acceptable. I badgered him until he finally started to talk to me. He was an awesome guy! Really, he was an amazing person. See I never would have know that if I hadn't harassed it out of him!

I'm sure plenty of people think I'm super annoying. And that's ok. As long as they want to be friends with me in spite of that. :)

Time to Get Crazy

2011-10-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

School was fun today. Some days are more fun than others, and I'm not sure why. But today was a fun day. We learned how to use curling irons. " Yea right" I thought. I'm a curling iron pro! I've only used them about 10000000 times in my life. Well, silly me I should have known. There is a correct way to use a curling iron. And I guess I've been using it wrong for 27 years. :) Ha ha there is a " correct" way to do everything in this profession. But I like curling irons, so it was fun to practice and fun to learn.

We are getting to that phase. The phase where we are going to start doing things to each other's hair. If we want to. If we decide to. You can usually pick a cosmetology school student out of a crowd easily. Just look at their multi colored/ crazy styled head! Of course I don't have to do anything. But what is the fun in that? On our second day of school we took pictures to go on our name badges. We must have done that then so we would look semi normal in our pictures! Because there is some eccentric hair styles going on with some of the seniors now.

No length is going. That is for sure. I've been growing my hair out for 1 year ( yes it's been a year) and it's barely past my shoulders. Ugh! So no cutting! But maybe something else. I haven't decided just yet...but what is the fun of being in school if you can't do something crazy with your hair. I'm thinking about a coon tail. Yes that is right. This girl in my class has one and I love it. She had blond hair, and she took a chunk of hair at the bottom of her head and dyed brown stripes on it. Like a coon tail.:) Below is not the girl in my class, but here is an example of a rather thick coon tail. Please disregard the absurdly placed bow and the hacked of top layer of hair.

It's so cute! Except mine would be a curly coon tail...so not sure how great that would look. I've never seen a raccoon with a curly tail before. There is probably a reason for that.

I'll keep thinking on it. But I have to do something. I'll be sure to post pictures when I do!

A Tale of Two Toilets

2011-10-10T20:11:00.000-07:00

Jimmy and I drove to Arizona this weekend. This was our first major road trip since Brynlee was born, so I wasn't sure what we were going to get. We packed a car full of stuff and hit the road Friday night.

My bladder has not been the same since I had Brynlee. I fear for what lies ahead after the next kid, because it's not good news now. I have to pee more frequently, and the urges come on much stronger. As we were driving to Arizona, I had to pee several times. We were driving through desolate waste land, and the urge hit strong. It was another 80 miles or so until our next stop, so I rocked and bobbed until we made it to a gas station.

As a side note gas stations are not my preferred place to pee. In fact I usually avoid them at all costs. But, at this point it was the first stop there was and I was going to have to pop a squat if I didn't find a toilet ASAP. I knew as soon as I walked into the gas station it would not be good. It was dirty and dingy, and I knew I was in store for a less than stellar toilet experience.

As I entered the bathroom, I could practically see venereal diseases leaping all over me. This would definitely be 3 toilet seat cover trip. Maybe I better use 4 just in case. I'm not a germ a phobe either so that is saying something. I went to get a toilet seat cover and of course it was empty...great. What a place to run out of toilet seat covers. By this point I'm practically seeing yellow I have to pee that bad. So I start to fashion a toilet seat cover out of toilet paper. It was not going well. I ended up squatting above my sub par toilet seat cover in attempt to maintain my diseasless state. All part of the road trip experience right?

On the way home, things got worse. I again I had to pee really bad. We pulled over and stopped at a Jack in the Box in the middle of no where. I figured the Jack in the Box would look like a toilet's equivalent of the Ritz compared to the gas station. I was right, sort of. There was only one stall open, and when I went in there was a big turd stuck to the toilet bowl! Ewwww! Who just leaves a toilet like that, please tell me? The other stall was out of order. I went out to check in the men's was open. It was not. I stood doing the pee dance deliberating on what I was going to do...I was really missing the STD gas station at this point! I flushed the turd toilet a few times, hoping it would go down. Nope, it just stuck on there. Seriously? I eventually fashioned a stick out of multiple rolled toilet seat covers to dislodge the turd. It finally went down, and now that the bowl was clean I could not pee fast enough. In case you were wondering, I'd rather street pee than use an outhouse. Honestly. I can think of few things more disgusting. I can't do my business on top of everyone else's business. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

I'll remember to bring toilet seat covers with me on my next road trip. As for the Jack in the Box bathroom...let's just hope I don't have to deal with that again!

A for Effort

2011-10-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

In my quest to be the wife I've never been, I try to cook dinner every night. Yep, Jimmy has never had that. Ever! Even when we were newlyweds. My favorite thing to do for dinner is the "you're on your own" game, where I'll rummage for some food for me. And Jimmy can find his own food. This is not Jimmy's favorite game. As he usually ends up with a bowl of cereal for dinner when we play.

So, for the past month I've been trying avidly to make dinner every night, and have it ready or almost ready when Jimmy gets home. I'm not the best cook. I'm not sure why either, because I have all the tools:

1. I like to eat
2. I can read, therefore can read recipes
3. I like to eat
4. I like to eat

But alas, some of my meals are sub par. At least I can admit that. I consider myself fairly creative, but when it comes to cooking I just don't know what to make. I'm sure my pickiness in what food I will eat does not help with the monotony of our menu. I own about 10 cookbooks. I keep buying them, thinking that is the issue here. But I've realized that if a recipe calls for more than like 5 ingredients I mentally check out and move on to the next page. Hoping to find an easier recipe to make. Jimmy never complains about my wacky meals. Or boring meals. I think he is happy to not be eating cold cereal for dinner anymore!

School is going OK. Yes just OK today. When it comes to natural ability, I don't have a lot to be honest. So it's funny that I keep thinking I'm going to be great at these things right off the bat. I usually suck at first, and get disappointed in myself. Where did this mind frame come from? I have no idea.

We have moved on to wet hairstyling in my class. Monday was one of my lower days. At one point I got so frustrated I had to put my comb down and walk away for a while. Even more frustrating/embarrassing is that all my emotions seem to come out through my eyeballs so it took quite a bit of effort to keep from bursting out in tears in the middle of my class. *sigh*. I'm trying. Trying to be better at not being very good at things. Trying to be at peace with the fact that I have to work at stuff to master it. I must have missed the line where " natural ability" got handed out as a trait in the pre existence. I was probably too busy standing in the " un natural love of bread" line or something. :)

Tomorrow in class we will be putting curlers in each other's hair. I might have to take a picture of how mine turns out... it's going to be something. I'm not sure which is worse, trying to curler my already crazy curly hair ( and it's supposed to rain tomorrow as well, humidity will add an extra bit of fun). Or trying to curler my partners mile long hair. Both sound like a challenge to me! My partner's hair will probably not come out perfectly, but at least I'll get an A for effort. You can't say I don't try!

My Picks

2011-09-30T20:52:00.000-07:00

I'm going to bore some of my readers with some baseball jargon for a bit. But baseball is winding down and now is when things really get exciting.

After a meltdown of epic proportions, the Red Sox did not make it to the playoffs. This is the problem with investing your energy into something like this. It's totally out of your control, and it's really disappointing when it doesn't go your way. Like now. It's a strange feeling. Yesterday I was bummed all day, and I realized this is why. Because the media is mercilessly going on and on and on about the Red Sox meltdown. This is nothing new to Red Sox fans, but it doesn't make it suck any less. I guess there is always next year.

However, there are some other good teams in the post season. So now I will re direct my rooting for a few other teams. Below are my picks, based solely on who I want to win. These pick are not based on skills, or luck or talent. They are based on what I want to happen, and what I think would be fair in some cases. Let's see how close I get:

Rays vs Rangers: Such a conundrum on this one, because I like both teams. But I'll go with the Rays

Yankees vs Tigers: Is this even a question? Tigers, all the way. Tigers times 1 million. All I needed was a Yankee victory Tuesday night to give the Red Sox a chance to make it in the post season. And those stupid Yankees couldn't even do that. The one time in my life I want them to win, and the lose when they are leading 7-0 in the 8th inning. I feel like they did it just to spite me...I HATE that team!

Brewers vs Diamondbacks: I like both these teams too. But I'll go Brewers because they have never even won a post season division game. Ever! They deserve a turn to shine.

Cardinals vs Phillies: I don't like either one of these teams. But I like the Phillies even less, so I'll go Cardinals.

There they are! Now that everyone has probably stopped reading this post.

I had my 2nd test today in school. It was 89 questions, and I got 105% again! Woot woot! There were only like 3 of us that did that out of 28. I really studied really hard. Maybe it's because I'm more mature now, but I'm applying myself in my schooling like no other.

After I first quit my job I was worried that my decision would not make me happy. That I would still be un happy, but be poor too. So far, that is not the case. For the first time in a long time I go to bed looking forward to the next day. Looking forward to getting up and going to school. My biggest daily stress is what to eat for lunch, and how to try to make dinner with Brynlee wreaking havoc all around me. It's a wonderful feeling.

I'm so happy with my decision. And so glad I have a supportive husband who encouraged me to do this. I'm finding that since I'm happier in my day to day life I'm more patient with people. And my relationships are better with people. I took a chance, and so far so good. Yay!

The First of Many

2011-09-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

We did our first hair cuts last week! On doll heads that is...

Remember when I said I have this habit of thinking that I'm going to be a natural and great at everything? Then when I try it and I suck I'm confused. Yeah.

My first hair cut went really well. It was a blunt cut, which is really easy in the realm of hair cuts. Then we had to do a 45 degree cut, which I had some trouble with but it wasn't too bad. On Friday we had to do a 90 degree hair cut, and disaster struck. Man it was bad. I was not the only one with a butchered doll head. But good grief. I can see why we practice cutting on doll heads! It was my first time, so I'm sure I'll get better. But as usual, I found myself disappointed in my performance. In my head I was going to be a natural at this because I like it. I really need to throw that way of thinking out the window.

I fixed up my poor butchered doll, so she doesn't look so bad now. But lets just say it will be a while before I start cutting any human hair, believe you me.

We had our first test last week too. I studied really really heard. I had Jimmy quiz me over and over again. And it paid off, because I got a 105%. Yep, 105%! I got all the questions right, and even earned some extra points! Wooo hooo! I'm sticking my test on my fridge. Yes I'm serious.

Some cracks are starting to show up in the friendship armor of my class. 27 girls all closed in together had to equal trouble. Nothing really bad yet, but gossip is starting to go around and you can tell there are some people that are starting to irritate others. It's going to be a looong few months of us all being stuck together if things continue this way. I'm doing my best to stay out of it. I'm 27, like I need to get wrapped up in he said she said drama.

I got to go to a wedding last night on the Queen Mary. It was soooo much fun. I loved it there! It looks like the Titanic right? And I'm obsessed with the Titanic. I want to go back there and just walk around the ship all day. It's supposed to be haunted, and I can see why. It was kinda creepy in certain areas.

Brynlee finally says "Mama" with some regularity now. It makes me really happy. I'm enjoying the extra time I get to spend with her these days. Most of the time. The other times she is in time out because she is being naughty and not listening. She is fearless. She must get that from her Dad. She is stubborn too...I hope she grows out of that. Otherwise we are going to have some serious trouble with her when she gets older. She is pretty funny though. She can now show you "1" when you ask her how old she is. And she can show you where her mouth, nose and ears are. If you ask her enough times she will show you where her belly button is too.

She has got teeth coming in like crazy. All over her mouth. I figured that would happen because up until 1 month ago she only had 2 teeth. Now they are all coming! But that opens up her eating choices because she can actually chew things now. Although her favorite things are still cookies, and anything anyone else is eating :)

Life at School

2011-09-16T20:27:00.000-07:00

Being back in school continues to be strange. I'm sure that will wear off eventually, but as of right now it's odd. My school is set up in 2 parts: The freshmen classroom, where we freshmen spend most of our time. And the salon floor, where the seniors all are. The salon floor is also where the clients that come to the beauty school get their hair cut. In order to walk to the freshmen room, you need to walk through the salon floor.On the first day of school as our class walked to the room no less than 20 seniors ( I'm not exaggerating here) commented on how large our class was. I remember getting a little irritated by it. Ok, I know we are a large class. Great observation.I'm beginning to understand why they were so amazed that there are so many of us. Because our class room is pandemonium. And chaos. And just a huge mess. I can see why the school normally only takes 20 new students max. With one teacher, and 29 of us it's a little rough. We all have huge kits, and books and bags and stuff is just all over. Yesterday we had to actually practice brushing on our doll heads. On a side note here, I'm constantly amazed at how there is a "correct" way to do just about everything when it comes to hair. IE brushing. Who knew? Anyhow, doll heads and people where everywhere. I'm sort of a hypocrit in that I'm a huge mess, but I don't like messes. If that makes any sense. I can be messy, but I don't like it when other people are. And other people's stuff all over my space really really irritates me. So yesterday was a tough day for me. I don't wish that the school decided not to accept all of us. Because I could be one of those people not accepted. I'd rather being crammed into a room and learning than not be learning at all. But I wouldn't mind a little space either.I'm getting used to inhaling my lunch in 30 min as well. I've learned to bring something that doesn't need to be heated. Because waiting for a microwave, and heating up food cuts down on valuable eating/relaxing time. I've learned that by the time I load up my baby, purse, book bag, lunch and kit all in my car it tacks on an extra 5 min to my commute time. I feel like a pack mule. Or a nomad. Or a homeless person. I've also learned that despite all this, I'm really enjoying school. Today we had to partner up and practice brushing, shampooing and scalp treatments. My parter worked on my hair today, and I'm going to work on her hair on monday. So, from 11 am to 4pm I got to be pampered. With the exception of my 30 min lunch. Not a bad way to spend the day! My partner has straight hair. I asked her if she'd ever blown out curly hair and she said no. Oh boy. I knew I had a treat in store for her! I bet she was cursing the day she chose me as a partner. At least my hair isn't that long. She actually did a really good job, all things considered. I was hoping once I stopped working I would be less tired. Nope! Still just as tired. Perhaps even more so. Which is odd to me considering I used to work 10 hour days and then have to commute on top of that sometimes. One last fun tidbit about my day. I was taking a break with two girls, and they asked me if I was Mormon. I was flabbergasted! I wasn't even wearing my " I am Mormon" name tag! Totally just kidding on that...but honestly I was really surprised. I asked them how they knew I was. They said they were both less active Mormons, and they could just tell. Still not totally convinced, I pressed them further. I mean we've been in school for 4 days, how do you look at someone and just pick that sort of thing out? They said I had that "glow". And I dressed modestly, never swore and was really nice. :) I took that all as a compliment. I'm still pretty impressed by their observation. But more than that, I'm proud of it.

Who Says

2011-09-14T20:51:00.000-07:00

Who says you can't turn back time? Well, I've got news. I found a time machine. It's called Cosmetology School.

Let me back up a bit. My last day at work was bitter sweet. I don't think it's really set in yet that I'm done there. It just feels like maybe I'm on a vacation or something. While I was super excited to start my new journey, it was sad to say goodbye to such good friends. Seeing as my office is not exactly down the street, I don't anticipate being able to make it there too often.

It's strange to not be on a computer all day long. It's strange to hear about a tropical storm, and not have to care. That sounds really bad. I do care about the people affected by it. But it no longer directly affects me, ie makes my life miserable.

As of right now, life is good with no job. We'll see if I still feel that way next month when I have no money. :)

My first day of school was nerve racking. But I'm friendly so I made a few new friends right away. One thing I've noticed about places like this is the lack of friendly people. The senior girls all give the new girls dirty looks and whisper about them. Really? We aren't past that already? I just smiled at everyone. They give me a dirty look, I just smile back. Two wrongs don't make a right.

We can't eat or drink in class. We can't even look at our phones. We get 1 15 min break and 1 30 min break. On the 15 min break we can't leave the campus. The first day was exciting, but a bit rough. I'm not used to having my time all mapped out for me like that anymore. I'm used to being able to snack when I want, drink when I want and make a phone call if I need to.

We had to write down our birthdays, and the girl next to me was born in 1993. She is 18, and 9 years younger than me. It's a bit odd.

But, there are plenty of older people ( meaning over 25) too. And everyone in my class has been really nice. And we got our kits today and there is so much fun stuff in there I just want to tear into it. We even got some really creepy doll heads with real human hair to practice on. I had to bring those home, and they will stay safely tucked into a box where I can't see them because they freak me out.

I get out of school at 4pm, which means I get to pick up Brynlee. For the first time in her life she gets really really excited to see me. I love it. I love picking her up, and when she squeals and runs over to me I could just die it makes me so happy.

I decided to take a break from pilates. Just for one session. I'm a little burnt out on it so opted to do something else. I'm taking a dance class called " Get Your Grove On". We basically just shake our butts for 1 hour. It was surprisingly challenging, and so much fun.

That was Tuesday. It was quite a humbling day. To go from a cosmetology school where I know nothing to a dance class where I know even less. But it was a rewarding day.

Despite the elementary school treatment, I love school so far. I understand why they have to treat us like we are 10. I'm sure someone along the way did something stupid and broke rules and now the rest of us have to suffer. If anything this will really limit my snacking and diet coke intake!

Tomorrow is the first day I get to wear my uniform. Black scrub pants, maroon shirt. Everyday. For the next year. Everyday. That is really going to take some getting used to. But at least I'll be comfortable. And I won't have to worry about what I'm going to wear the next day!

Now Introducing...

2011-09-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

Things are changing rapidly now. My plan that I've been dwelling on for 40 days is finally coming into action. I think 40 days is too long to plan stuff. It's to the point now where none of it seems real.

Like at this time next week I'll be sitting in a class room. Jobless. It's crazy! But oh so exciting.

Part of this new plan was having Garrett, aka Bronco move in with us. Bronco is Robbie's good friend who was going to move in to the other room up stairs when we originally rented our condo. Well, Bronco is here! So now I live with 3 men... thank goodness Brynlee is a girl. And I have Mitzie too. So I guess we are even, 3 to 3. But my two cohorts don't really talk much.

The situation is kind of funny. It reminds me of the show Full House or something. 3 Men, a baby and a cat. And me. Bronco is fun to live with so far. Mitzie loves him and he loves her. She moseys up to his room and cuddles with him. I guess she is tired of being displaced by Brynlee.

Anyhow, I'm sure Bronco will make an appearance now and then in my blog. Since I live with him and all. Lives are bound to be intertwined.

Borders is just about done in Simi Valley. I went last night and picked through what they had left. It takes their books being 60% off to be a normal price! Perhaps this is why they are no longer with us. Books are so hard for me to buy. Once in a while I get a good one (ie Something Borrowed, LOVED it!). But usually if I just buy a book without a recommendation it's crap. Apparently I really can't judge a book buy it's cover. :)

No Turning Back

2011-08-31T09:59:00.000-07:00

I woke up early yesterday and cleared out some of my work. I got Brynlee dressed, and brought her to day care. Then I made my way over to the cosmetology school. Yesterday was the day of the cosmetology school lottery.

I was feeling pretty optimistic as I drove over there. I had plenty of time, which is good because I went to the wrong place...

But I eventually found the right place. It was about 8:10, and the lottery would start at 8:30. I walked into the room, and it was packed! My heart sank. I counted 17 people. Ok well there can be 20,so I was ok. And then more and more people just kept pouring in.

When the instructor walked in, she commented on what big group we had. Oh good. She took a count. 29 people. My mind started racing. 9 people would not get in. What if I was one of those 9? What was I going to do?

They decided to go over the program details before they did the lottery. That way if there was something that someone didn't like, they would not register and take up a spot. As they were going over details, I kept thinking about what I could do. I couldn't come up with any idea that fit right.

After they went over the syllabus, it seemed like the instructors just kept droning on and on. I was dying! Can we just get this over already? If my lottery number did not get picked, I would not need to know any of these minute details.

The instructor asked if it sounded like she was stalling. We all nodded our heads. She said she was stalling because they had decided to let us ALL in, and that someone was bringing more forms from the office.

Ok so this will be no surprise, but I might have cried a little when she said that. Curse these emotions that I have! But I was so relieved, I can't even tell you. As I said before, I have NO back up plan. There is no plan B. Just plan A. And up until that point, plan A was not looking so good. I guess I was the only one so emotionally touched, because I was the only one tearing up. Maybe everyone else does not have as much riding on this as I do.

So, I registered. They so kindly stamped a big red "No Refunds" on my receipt after I paid my first installment. Meaning, no turning back now. No mind changing, no delaying, no procrastinating. I'm all in now. Unless I want to lose my deposit...which believe me I don't.

I'm officially in Cosmetology school. I think about what led me to this and it boggles my mind. I wonder if I didn't have this blog if I would have ever had the courage to do this. Probably not. It is quite a change. But I'm hoping in will be a good one. Sept 13th is my first day. Cosmetology school, here I come!

Insomniac

2011-08-29T16:17:00.000-07:00

"You don't know what you've got till it's gone". This is probably one of my favorite sayings. It reminds me to try to enjoy the good times, because they are usually short lived.

I'm a great sleeper. I go to bed, read for like 20 min and then I'm out. I usually don't wake up until it's time to get up the next morning. Then I wake up refreshed and ready to start the day.

I hear people talk about having trouble sleeping. I can't imagine that! Ok well now I can. For the past 5 nights I have slept like crap. It's so irritating. Last night I woke up at 2:30 to pee. Which I never do. Ever. But of course after I peed, forget it. I think I finally fell asleep at like 4am. Ugh.

Besides the need to pee, there are several factors adding to this.

It's hotter than Hades here these days! Jeez. It's been triple digits and it's horrible. You go outside and the hot air burns your lungs. Now that I'm a born again penny pincher, I try to keep our ac set at 80. Well that thing has been cranking along all night long for the past few nights.

I have less than 2 weeks at my job now. And I'm freaking out. Just a little bit. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow I go to register for the Cosmetology program. I have been nervous about this day for the past few months. Every since I made this crazy decision to pursue a dream and listen to what my heart is telling me.

If too many people are applying, they do a lottery to see who will get in. I'm told they have not had to do a lottery in recent years thanks to our economy. See there is good in everything right? Bad economy equals school for me, and more job security for Jimmy. If they do have to do a lottery tomorrow, and I don't get in... well. I have NO back up plan. Yes I realize this seems stupid. But there is not a good back up plan to have for this. And thinking about it only freaks me out more and makes my head hurt. So, I'm literally putting all my eggs in this basket.

It would have been nice if they didn't make you wait until 2 weeks before the program starts to register. I mean how are you supposed to plan for these type of things? All the other schooling I've done you've been able to register for class months in advance. Then if things do not go your way you have time to figure something else out.

I'd feel better if they picked people based on qualifications. Seeing that the 2 program requirements are: 1. have a social security card and 2: read/speak 9th grade English, I think I've got that covered. And then some.

Or if the picked people on a first come first served basis. Then I could camp out there tonight. Nope, a lottery is what they do if there are more than 20 people applying. I'm not very good at lottery type things. Everyone cross your fingers for less than 20 people! I'll probably be the first person there. And I'm sure my stomach will sink with each new person who walks into the room.

So this combined with the hot hot hot weather has turned me into an insomniac. I find myself awake during strange hours every night. And it's really irritating!

I'm hoping if all goes well tomorrow I'll be able to sleep again. If all does not go well... then I'm not sure. I'm going to cross that bridge when I come to it. That is one bridge I do not want to see!

Clean Bill

2011-08-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

Brynlee had her last neurological check up last week. Since my days of working are dwindling down, Jimmy brought her in. She did great! They said her small motor skills are above average. And she is a healthy and happy little girl.

Whew! I'm going to say it again. Whew! We are out of the woods. With that illness anyway. Now we just have a great story to tell about the 2 month old baby who survived bacterial meningitis and escaped un scathed.

Brynlee actually lost a couple of pounds. She is always on the go. And her eating habits are horrible now. I'm not sure what happened. I was so careful in the beginning. I didn't even give her any fruit until she was 8 months old. She only had vegetables. Now, she spits out fruits and vegetables in any form. Somewhere along the line she decided she didn't need those. I've tried to hide them in different things. This kid is hard to fool though. She'll eat garlic mashed potatoes. And French fries. Do those count as veggies? No? hmm... I'm not sure what else to do at this point then. I guess I'll just keep trying!

Required Watching

2011-08-23T10:27:00.000-07:00

Jimmy started school this week. So now, on Monday and Wednesday nights it's just Brynlee and I. Until she goes to bed, and then it's just I. :)

I set out last night to do some reading. But thought I'd channel surf a bit to make sure I wasn't missing any great TV. I wasn't. I cannot wait for fall for TV shows to start up again. Even Jeopardy! is repeats. Anyhow, I was surfing along and there it was. This movie:

Score!!! I actually own it. But yet whenever it's on TV, I have to watch it. It's like a requirement. Jimmy usually gives me a hard time about watching it over and over. But Jimmy was not home, so I was able to watch duress free. I do this with the movie Titanic too. I'm not sure why, because I didn't even like that movie that much. But whenever it's on, I have to watch it. Even if I just watched it yesterday. And I can only watch the first 1/2 because then it gets too sad.

But back to Jurassic Park. I remember the first time I saw this movie. I was in 3rd grade and going to a private school. Our class took a field trip to Universal Studios to see this movie on the big screen. I had to sit by my teacher, and had my head in my chair about 2/3rds of the time. Yes, I was the only kid who had to sit by my teacher. Hey I don't do scary very well!

But, I loved this movie. I saw it again in the theaters with my parents, and actually watched most of it. It wasn't as bad when you knew what was coming. I had Jurassic Park stickers, I had a Jurassic Park T shirt. I think I even had a Jurassic Park lunch box.

I'd always loved dinosaurs, but for some reason this movie where the dinosaurs get free and eat people cemented my love affair with them. Except with the Velociraptors because those really freaked me out. I definitely had a few nightmares about that kitchen scene.

I still love dinosaurs now. I love learning about them, and theorizing about them. I really hope one day I find out what happened to all of them. Otherwise I'm going to be really bummed out.

Of course I had to see Jurassic Park 2,3,4 ( is there a 4? I can't remember). None were even close to being as good as the first.

So, I watched last night in awe as always of this movie. In my opinion, this is Spielberg's best work. Too bad they don't make movies like this one anymore!

The Cup Cupboard

2011-08-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about our engagement story the other day and it made me laugh. I think it's a pretty good one.

I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty, but I knew Jimmy was going to propose. It was not a surprise, and I knew it was coming. Thus making his job of trying to surprise me with a creative way to propose a little difficult.

I went over to his house one day. He used to live with Robbie and Breanne, and they were on vacation. Wow Robbie just can't get rid of us. Or we can't get rid of him, depending on how you want to look at it.

I've known Jimmy since 2004, and he has lived with Robbie for about 5 of those 7 years. Not that that is pertinent to this story though...

Anyhow Robbie and Breanne were out of town on their anniversary trip, so Jimmy was home alone. I went over to his house after work one day for a little while. I had to get up early and did not plan on staying over there too long.

As I was about to leave, Jimmy asked me to get him a cup for a drink of water. He was in the kitchen, just like I was. Why couldn't he get his own water? I opened the cupboard, pulled out a cup and handed it to him. He looked at me like I was nuts. He then asked me if he could have a smaller cup. I was so irritated! I had to get home and I had to pee. I remember wondering why his large cup was not good enough. So I opened up the cupboard and went to pull out a smaller cup.

And then I saw it. There was a ring in a ring box, sitting there all open and pretty. I had completely missed it the first time I opened the cupboard. If you know me, that is not really very surprising. I turned to look at Jimmy and he was on one knee. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. He took the ring and tried to put it on the wrong hand. Boys are so funny. I guess they don't practice putting rings on girls when they are kids like we girls practice putting them on huh?

And that was it. We were engaged, and Jimmy did manage to surprise me. During our ring ceremony, he dropped the wedding ring he was trying to put on me. So funny. We got a good picture of that.

There were no flowers, or songs or crowds. But I love our engagement story. It's so us. Me not seeing the ring at first because I'm so aloof. And him not putting the ring on the right hand. We are a mess! But I can't think of anyone I'd rather be a mess with. :)

The Time to Fall

2011-08-16T15:36:00.000-07:00

It's almost September!!!!! I cannot wait for fall. I'm even more jazzed about it this year than most years. September first, the fall decorations are coming out! I don't care if it is 102 degrees still. As it tends to be in CA.

Fall is by far my favorite season. I used to like Summer. Back before I turned into an adult and got a job. Now it just means higher electricity bills. Yay! Not. I do like that it means I don't have to match socks. Because once summer hits I wear socks like 2 times and that is it. My feet cannot be restricted in such hot weather!

I'm already planning out our family themed Halloween costume. We are going to take Brynlee trick or treating this year. I'm super excited.

This year we are going to go to a big pumpkin patch, where Brynlee can go on a hay ride and run around. Maybe even hit up a petting zoo! I'm already trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my Christmas tree, since that tiny terror that runs my house will be all over it I'm sure.

Jimmy and I did some more child proofing this weekend. I should have filmed the look of dismay on Brynlee's face as she tried to open some of her favorite cupboards to wreak havoc in. Only to find she could not open them. :) Ha ha!

My big life changing is coming closer and closer. Less than 1 month away actually. I thought of having to buy school supplies the other day and it made me really happy. I know that sounds crazy. Then I thought about not knowing anyone at school. And everyone probably being 18 and here I am 27 and married with a baby. It might be hard to connect with my new classmates a little bit. Maybe I'll hit it off with some of the instructors.

Unfortunately I find myself doing something with this that I always tend to do. I keep thinking that every problem in my life will be fixed once I quit my job and start school. I'll have tons of free time, and Brynlee will be less crazy and I'll be happier. I'm not sure why I always do this. But it sets me up for failure because inevitably school will not fix all my problems. In fact it will create several new ones. Several new pretty big ones! But I hope I'm not wrong about being happier. Because right now I'm having a kind of tough time.

I've been on a pilates hiatus. I skipped once. Then I skipped again. Then I skipped twice more. Yeah. Have I mentioned this class was pre paid? I might as well just flush money down the toilet. I skipped the one class, but then I wanted more. See, "if you give a mouse a cookie...". I haven't gone for 2 weeks now, and I'm sure my teacher thinks I probably died or something. Tonight I'm going, no question. Pilates or bust!

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

2011-08-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

My parents read to me every night before I went to bed when I was little. Maybe that is where my love affair with books began. I loved Dr Seuss books. I think my favorite was " Are you My Mother?". I tried reading that to Brynlee the other day. While she was less than enthused, I just kept cracking up. Still, 25 years later that book makes me laugh. Or "Fox in Sox". I remember asking my Dad to read that book to my every night for like a month straight.

I still remember these books, and they bring a smile to my face when I think about them. But there was one book in particular that still has a profound affect on me today.

If you haven't read it, I insist you go to the library right now. While this is obviously a children's book the message it brings is for people of all ages.

We (or maybe just me?) are never really satisfied. Example- I had a day off from work, I want another one now. I skipped my pilates class, now I want to skip again. I ate Mc Donald's for lunch yesterday, now I want it again tomorrow. I can never just take a treat for what it is. A special, one time thing. I get a cookie, and I want some milk to go with it.

I find this in my job all the time. You do something for someone once, and then they expect you to do it again, and then some. I guess this is just human nature. And that is part of our journey here. To appreciate what we have, and not always be asking for more.

I'm realizing this more and more with Brynlee as well. It's strange trying to mold someone's personality. In her case though, she doesn't understand why she can't have the whole cooking, the milk, the house etc. I mean she is pretty cute. Isn't that all she needs to do to get what she wants? Be cute? No, it's not? Oh boy, I guess she has some more learning to do.

I quote this book all the time. I'm sure people who have not read it think I'm crazy. Maybe I should carry copies around and give them to people who have no idea what I'm talking about. Not that it will change anything. I've read the book a dozen times and I still always want more!

Inherited Traits

2011-08-10T11:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I ponder on how children are made. Ok not the actual process...dirty minds out there. But how a bunch of genes come together and out pops a kid! It's nuts. A little of me, a little of Jimmy and you get Brynlee.

She has Jimmy's eyes. And I love that. He has amazing eyes. I'm excited she got those.

But she has this of mine-

Yep. That is some curly hair! Jimmy's hair is straight, straight straight. So we were not sure which way she would go. I guess she came over to the curly side of things. Oh boy. I HATED my hair when I was younger. All I wanted was to look like everyone else. And everyone else seemed to have straight hair. But now I kind of like my curly hair. It sets me a apart from others. And after all, to quote BSB "what makes you different makes you beautiful" right? Right!

This, she got from her dad-

The crazy sleeping continues. All that room, and she ends up wedged in the corner.

This is probably from me-

She leaves her stuff everywhere! I MIGHT do that... I thought this was funny though. She set her shoes up just like this.

I love watching her grow, and become more like a person. When you tell her "night night" she blows you kisses. And she will actually sort of fetch stuff. We are still working on the whole putting stuff back idea. Since she is my child, that will be a life long battle since I don't put things away very well either.

Dance Party

2011-08-04T16:42:00.001-07:00

I've waited for this time, for a long time. Brynlee and I started having dance parties, and I love them. When she was born I remember thinking we would do this together.

Thanks to her Cuillard genes she has some pretty sweet moves...oh boy. She dances like a nut. But so do I, so it's ok. :) If I start clapping along with the music she will clap with me. Then she will start rocking out. It is about the cutest thing I've ever seen. I think she prefers hip hop to dance to. Then again who doesn't?

I love these times. The times when we can just have fun together. When I'm not rushing to go somewhere and we are not in a time crunch. Times when we can just be. I don't feel like I have too many of those, and it's frustrating. I'm hoping my up coming life changes will give me more. We'll have to see.

As we were dancing and cleaning on Saturday (ok I was cleaning, Brynlee was un doing my cleaning) I remember thinking this is it. This is why people have children. Times like these. Not that I don't always know why people have children...what with the baby attitude and the teething and the getting up at 7am everyday.

Brynlee is at a tough age right now, but it's a fun age. She has started throwing tantrums and is quite the little tyrant. If she doesn't get what she wants, we all pay. Even the neighbors pay I'm sure!

While my day care was closed a few weeks ago I had my friend come watch Brynlee so I could work. I think she thought she was in for a fun and easy day... she learned otherwise quickly. Exhausting doesn't even cover what this little girl can be sometimes. By the end of the day my friend was ready to fall over, and now fully understands why I'm usually in bed by 9pm.

But she is oh so rewarding. She has learned to blow kisses now, and it's so cute I could just die. Still not too many words. "ah-da" is her favorite thing to say. When we walk and get to a step she is so funny. She will grab my hand, inch her way to the step and then stop. She then swings up her baby leg as far as it can go onto the step, and grunts as I help her up. She is a hoot.

I'm grateful for our dance party time this weekend. And can't wait to have many more!

Trials

2011-08-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for trials. Ok I know that sounds crazy. Who likes trials? I'm not saying I like them. But I'm grateful for them.

Trials help us grow. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you want to look at it ) I am the type of person who needs trials. I'm not someone who will push myself unless I have to. I will not force myself to do and deal with unpleasant things unless I am...well forced. I'm not sure if there is anything wrong with that. It's just how I am. I've always considered myself to be on the weaker side. Not weak physically (ok yes that too) but just weak. Again, nothing wrong with that. We are all different. Some of us are weaker than others.

But I've realized something. I'm not weak. I'm just not strong unless I'm forced to be. I don't exercise my strength frequently. It takes trials to drag it out of me. I look at the things in my life I thought I would never get though. But I have. And I've grown because of that.

If life was all peaches and cream I would never know what I'm capable of. It's hard to remember this when you are in the throws of one of these tough situations. I'm not always grateful for the trial while it is happening, but I'm grateful afterwards. I love learning, and what better way to learn from personal experience?

I am grateful for opportunities to prove my strength. Even if it's to no one else by myself.

Church With a 14 Month Old

2011-08-01T11:37:00.000-07:00

Remember the days when I used to go to church and be able to enjoy it? I would sit in peace and quiet. Listening to speakers, paying attention to lessons...or just zoning out (hey I'm not perfect here). Remember those days? No, me neither. Because it seems like it's been forever since I've had them. Well I guess 14 months to be exact.

Brynlee is in the final stretch, just 4 more months and then she can go to nursery. Yay!!!!!!! I don't think anyone is more excited about this than my husband as he usually tends to the wild baby beast during church since I'm teaching 1 of the hours.

But these next 4 months will be tough. Brynlee now runs, and runs and runs. Runs around the building, runs into places she is not supposed to go. Our church services are 3 hours if you didn't know. Yeah. That is a long time to try to corral a baby. If we keep her in the building, she screams and squeals. If we take her outside, she dashes for the street. Over and over again. Not sure what this kid's fascination with the street is, but it's scary.

So yesterday during sacrament (or the 1st hour of our church) we followed some other people with a toddler to the nursery room. No one was in there yet. But it was filled with toys and goodies and tons of tiny tot entertainment. Brynlee played in there with the other little boy for a while. I went off to teach my class and left Jimmy to deal with the tiny firecracker known as our child.

As a note to my non LDS readers, children 18 months to 3 years old go into Nursery during 2 of the 3 hours of church. There they play and do fun kid stuff, all while learning to sit in a classroom setting and behave with other kids.

As I'm trying to coral my 12/13/14 year olds into my class room (I had 15 kids this week... yes I'm serious) I saw Jimmy walking happily towards me with no baby. He told me the Nursery leader said Brynlee could stay in the Nursery with the bigger kids this week. Jimmy looked like a kid in a candy store!

They said Brynlee did really well. I figured she would, she does go to day care and all. I don't think the nursery leaders want to make this an every Sunday occurrence though. So next week we'll be back to playing chase the baby around the church building. But we got a sweet taste of what we are in for 4 months from now. I think I'll start a countdown. Only 13 more Sundays to go!

One Little Post

2011-07-27T10:38:00.001-07:00

I'm amazed at this thing called blogging. Who would have thought that reading about other people's lives could be so life altering? In my case, I often read about people I don't even know. Yes I'm one of those people.. a blog stalker. I hate it when I hit a private blog. Curse, it's like a big door slamming in my face telling me I can't get it.

Anyhow I love reading blogs. I check the blogs I follow about 15 times a day (I'm not joking here). Tsk tsk, Some of you need to post a little more if you ask me...

I have no doubt that some of the things I've read on other people's blogs have changed me. Changed the way I think about life and the way I think about other people. I've been inspired, and so appreciate that.

However, this time it's my own blog that inspired me. One little post. How much can one little post do? A lot a guess. Since my last post I've decided to quit my job and enroll in cosmetology school. Yes I'm serious. No I'm not joking. I gave my job notice yesterday and am committed to making this happen.

I've had several different reactions to this decision. Shock, horror, astonishment, dumbfoundment ( I realize that is not a word, yet I'm using it anyhow. Good thing I'm not trying to become a writer) . Am I crazy? Yes, but we already knew that. Will we be poor? Yes, but we already are. How will we live, what will I do, is this the right decision. These questions attack me from every angle. And to be 100% honest I do not have all the answers lined up nicely just yet. But I honestly feel with all my heart that this is the right thing for me to do.

I've always loved to do hair. Ever since I can remember. Every time I meet a hair dresser I think about how I wish I could do that, and how I really missed the boat on that one.

Well, here comes another boat. I'm making it come. I have a small window of opportunity here and I'm taking it. I'm 27 years old, have been a travel agent for 4 years, have a bachelors degree in geography and want to be a hair dresser. You are never to old to chase your dreams.

It's going to be one wild ride. I cried last night, for a really long time. Not that me crying is unusual. But this is the first time I've cried about this. Because I am sad. I'm sad to leave my job and the love/hate relationship I have with it. I think about all the experiences my job and I have gone though together and it makes me want to cry all over again. I think about not seeing my co workers all the time and it makes me so sad my heart physically aches. I'm not good with change. And this is a big one. And not an easy one. But I feel it's the right one. I'm the type of person who usually follows my head rather than my heart. Not this time. Let's hope my heart knows what it is doing. :)

All Fair

2011-07-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

Brynlee is not much for words yet. But something she never fails to say, is "tee tee". Or kitty to those of you who speak Brynlee. Every animal is a tee tee. Dog, cat, squirrel. All tee tees.

It is pretty cute. Can one get though life by just saying "tee tee"? It seems like at this point we are going to find out...

I've been reflecting recently. I'm not sure what it is about this time of the month (ok it's called PMS) but I find myself reflecting on my life and getting frustrated with it. It doesn't seem to be moving in the direction I'd always planned.

My family of 3 plus tee tee (aka Mitzie) are still living in a room. Meanwhile people around me are buying houses.

I find myself reverting back to a child like mentality. Thinking life should be fair. You put in your time, and eventually good things come right? I mean that is only fair. BUT life is not fair. I see people who have put in much less time then I feel like I've put in cutting in line and getting things before I do. And I get frustrated.

However I guess I cut in the getting pregnant line because it only took us 2 months and some people have been trying to get pregnant for decades. But still, I have trouble pushing these ideas of "fair" out of my mind.

I'm starting to wonder if teaching our kids fairness is a good idea. After all how often in life will they really be treated fairly? Will things really work out fairly for them?

This mind set can be damaging when you get older and keep waiting for your fair share. Tic tic tic... I'm still waiting.

So I turn to a few key decisions I've made in my life and wonder how smart they were. Of course at the time they seemed like a good idea. But now, I'm not so sure. Darn it. Where is that time machine when I need it?

I should have gone to beauty school, we should have moved to a different state when we got married, I should get out of the stagnant tar pit that is my current job.

I'm not dead yet, so I can still make some of these changes. But I'm not 20 anymore either, and the idea of starting over at 1 (or all) of the above really freaks me out. A lot.

This is what makes me a terrible decision maker. Because one poor decision can keep biting you over and over again. It's no wonder why I regularly flip coins to decide what to do.

I've been taking pilates since march now and a nice layer of fat is still hanging out on my stomach. And fat's good friend cellulite is still residing on my legs. Hmm... after 5 months of pilates my body is supposed to look like Jessica Biel's. Or Jennifer Aniston's, I'll take either.

Something is not right here. It could be my nemesis fried foods. That I find myself indulging in more often these days. How much will power is one supposed to have? More I guess. So my quest continues towards a new level of fitness. I've added in some running (ugh) a few days a week too so hopefully that will help.

Wow this post has been a lot of whining. Sometimes you just have to whine. Especially during a certain week every month. I was going to go off some more about irritating people, but I'll keep that to myself. :)

Irritants

2011-07-06T13:23:00.001-07:00

I think I'm becoming bitter and cynical in my older age. I find things annoy me a lot more than they used to. And I find myself irritated a lot more as well.

Example 1:
My HOA. Can I just say that I hate them? Because I really do. I can't remember if I've ever blogged about their antics before but they are extremely irritating. If your trash cans are not brought in by a certain time, you get a warning. If you trash cans are out too early, you get a warning. My neighbor was having shoulder surgery the day before trash day, so he put his cans out before he left for the hospital. I came home and saw a nasty note on his trash can saying he had them out 1 hour too early. I ripped it off so he didn't have to come home to find that there.

Apparently if the screen door on your patio is not up to a certain quality, you get a complaint letter. Yes I'm serious. Last year Laker broke the bottom of our screen door so it's just flapping in the wind. In attempt to patch it up, Jimmy tried to duct tape the screen to the frame. It didn't work. And I'll admit it does not look wonderful and could use some attention. However, one of my neighbors apparently walked by my house, went and got their camera, came out and took a picture of my screen and then sent it in to the management company. I think these people might have too much time on their hands. I'm considering writing a large note, and taping it to my screen door inviting this person to come introduce themselves the next time they walk by. I'd like to meet them. And could give them some charities they could spend their time helping rather then anonymously tattling on neighbors.

I think I'll dress up really trashy and attend the next HOA meeting. I bet they would really appreciate that. Maybe I'll just get super involved and walk to the members houses with my camera and make sure everything is up to par.

Something else that has been really irritating me recently is people. Men in particular I find do this often. Maybe I'm alone in this, so you can let me know.

Example 2:
I HATE it when you are at a gathering and someone asks you how you are or how work is or whatever. When you proceed to brief them on this, they get a glazed over look in their eyes and look as if they could not care less. Like them sitting ther listening to you is the hugest inconvenience ever. Like they would rather be anywhere else but sitting there talking to you. It's not that I'm rambling on for 30 min, believe me. I'm not that much of a chit chatter. Maybe my life is really just that boring. But hey, you asked! Don't ask if you don't want to know! It drives me crazy. Believe me, I'm not itching to tell you. I'm a fairly private person ( with the exception of this blog) so we can chat about your life if you want. I promise I'll at least pretend to be interested.

I find my husband doing this sometimes and it makes me want to throw my shoe at him. He'll ask me how my day was, and then zone out. Don't ask if you don't want to know! I'll find someone else to talk to who actually cares how my day was. NO skin of my back.

Ok there is my rant, I'm done for now. Until the next thing comes along that irritates me. Then I'll be back. :)

I'll end on a positive note, as I don't want to end on a negative one. Brynlee is getting better and better at walking to the point where she can actually sneak up on me. And I don't hear her toddling along. I love when I'm in the kitchen cooking and all of the sudden I feel little hands on my legs. I turn around and there she is looking up at me. I smile at her and she smiles back, and it is so darn cute I could die. I love feeling those little hands on the backs of my legs. It helps to make all the other annoying things people do go away!

Gathering at the Water table

2011-07-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

Until a few months ago, I'd never heard of these things called water tables. My boss bought Brynlee one for her b day, and up until just recently we've been having fairly mild weather. For southern CA anyway. Well that all came to an abrupt stop. It is hot hot hot here now!

Whew! So I'm constantly finding myself trying to entertain Brynlee without going to the park or for walks (sorry Brynlee, I love you but I'm not pushing you in a stroller in this heat...).

So this weekend we broke out the water table. Despite the freezing cold hose water ( that felt oh so refreshing in the midday heat) Brynlee did not hesitate to dig in!

I had to keep hosing down the pavement so it didn't burn our feet off! And I'd hose it down and it would try in like 2 min. Ah summertime!

It was still pretty hot so at one point we just sat her down in the water table. She seemed to enjoy that just as much.

We took her swimming again as well. But, she only lasts in the pool for about 20 min. After that she starts trying to wiggle her way out of her baby floaty. And then if you hold her she tries to wiggle her way away from you. This kid has a death wish or something.

I think we'll have to get a baby pool and stick it on our patio so she can just run around in there without my worrying about her dying kamikaze style.

Brynlee has developed some fun habits recently. Toddlers really are patience testers. Brynlee thinks it's fun to dumpster dive and dig things out of our trash can. She then proceeds to carry them around the house and drop trash all over. As if I needed help making a mess out of my house! And my trash can even has a lid. I've now used masking tape to tape it shut.

Brynlee has decided that diaper changes are too time consuming now. She used to lie semi still. Now she flips all over from the second I put her down. You should see some of the diaper jobs I've done in my attempt to slap it on here before she wiggles away. It's comical. And when she does more than just pee.... don't even get my started on how fun that is.

We've had a few temper tantrums and the baby attitude is definitely coming out more often now. But she does live in a house of attitude ( even down to my very opinionated cat) so I guess I can't blame her!

America the Beautiful

2011-07-01T15:08:00.000-07:00

My favorite holiday is looming around the corner. Christmas! Yay! Just kidding... my favorite holiday is actually 4th of July. I know kind of strange. There are no presents or turkeys involved in this one. But I love it, and always have.

I love American history, especially Revolutionary war history. I love the story of the signing of the declaration of Independence. I think about how brave all those men were and it's mind boggling. Out numbered, out skilled, out financed and just about out everything else. Yet farmers with pitchforks fought to the death and won us all our freedom. Nothing like a good underdog story! And in my mind the Revolutionary war was the ultimate one.

I've said this before, but walking the freedom trail in Boston was one of the best things I've ever done. Exhausting yes. But worth every minute of it. The city is so packed with history. There are so many of the same buildings there that Paul Revere saw 235 years ago!

Anyhow as this holiday weekend approaches and I plan out my red/white/blue outfit I can't help but think about how lucky I am to live here.

I can't listen to that song "Proud to be an American" without tearing up. Because I really am so proud.

In celebration of 4th of July, I'm going to list my 6 favorite things about this country and the people who live in it:

1. Mc Donald’s (just kidding. Well not really...)

2. Diverse people. I love that we are a land full of all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds. I think if we all stopped hating each other we could really
learn something

3. Diverse landscape. From deserts to swamps to forests to beaches. We have it all here! You can live in just about any climate you want right here in USA.

4. We fight for what we believe in and will not be silenced. This is what I think when people get so passionate about politics and controversial issues. Opinions are good to have, at least we care about something!

5. We ban together in the face of diversity. I can't believe Sept 11 was almost 10 years ago. I remember it like it was last week. But what I remember most was watching people help scour the wreckage, donate money and burn candles at midnight vigils. I remember feeling like someone had personally attacked me, even though I was 3,000 miles away and didn't know a single person lost. Because we as Americans are like a team. You mess with 1 of us, you got us all. It's good to know that you can depend on your fellow Americans when tragedy strikes.

6. We have men and women in the armed forces that are willing to sacrifice themselves for our safety. Who put the needs of their country and their countrymen first. Who lay their lives down for what they believe in.

Happy almost 235th birthday America. Here is to ringing in many more together!

Ready to Run!

2011-06-29T10:05:00.001-07:00

Or toddle. Ok really waddle. Brynlee is walking walking walking and she is all over. So, last week I took her to places where she could run free!

Here she is enjoying a waddle at the park:

She is a climber. My mother in law called it. Perhaps because she has seen the signs before, 7 times over. Everywhere Brynlee goes now her leg comes up and she tries to climb.

And tries to climb in weird places. She could just go around to the other step, but nope wants to try to wedge her way in here. And she did. Eventually.

Needed to make a pit stop to try to remove her space shoes. At least that is what I think they look like. They remind me of an astronaut. :)

And after playing in the hot park it was time for a snack and some a/c at home.

Later that week, it was on to the zoo.

Where she did this at every animal exhibit:

At one point, she squealed so loud when she saw a mountain goat a lady behind us asked if an animal was making that noise. Nope, just my kid. :)

Discussing animal facts with Dad.

Lastly...seriously? How crazy are Koalas? My mind is boggled on how this can possibly be comfortable. Especially comfortable enough to snooze away.

Green Grass

2011-06-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

Staycation is over, and I'm bummed! I had a LOT of fun. More than I expected to have really. We went to the LA Zoo on Friday, went to the pool a few times and went to the park a ton of times.

I went to the movies with some friends and even got some baby free time there. I saw Super 8. It was good, but scary! Really a lot scarier than I expected. I do not do scary movies well. But I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed getting out of the movie and knowing that I was free the next day and didn't have to work. That was the best part of all.

Staycation ended with a girls night on Saturday night. I love girls. Have I said that before? I think it's funny when girls say they get along with guys better. Really? Ugh. They are so gross... I've always been a girls girl. We painted our nails (including Brynlee's toes) and watched the Notebook. While eating chocolate chip cookies and lots of assorted junk food. Really you can't beat that.

Now I'm back and work and Brynlee is back in day care. Bringing her in today was tough. She didn't seem to mind, buy I minded. I miss her. It's so strange, when I'm with her all the time I complain when I don't get a break. The grass is always greener I guess.

Brynlee is walking all over the place. Conflicted about what kind of shoes to get her, I decided to be better safe that sorry and opted for Stride Rites. Oh boy. How can something so small be so expensive? Although they did measure her foot and watch her walk and make sure it was a good fit. Turns out she is a 4.5 and I was squishing her feet into size 4 shoes. I guess that explains why her feet were all red when I took off her shoes! Duh... Don't worry, I know what you are thinking. The fact that I'm responsible for someone else's life now freaks me out too.

Now she has some shoes that actually fit and doesn't seem to mind them too much. She still sits down and tugs at them a bit. And when she is sitting in her car seat she undoes the Velcro and kicks her legs all over until the shoes fly off. I had her in Target with me on Saturday and noticed she only had 1 sandal on. Sure enough if the other one wasn't sitting in the next aisle over. All I need is to lose one of those VERY expensive baby shoes!

Brynlee found a hair tie the other day on the floor. She walked over to me and held the hair tie up to her head. Ah victory! I'm not saying she likes me fixing her hair, but at least she has come to peace with the fact that I'm going to do it anyway! :)

Summer Fun

2011-06-23T17:09:00.000-07:00

This week it's staycation week! Meaning Brynlee is home from day care, and Jimmy and I are off. In case anyone was wondering, due to my fit throwing Jimmy wiggled his way out of scout camp. This is good and bad. Good in that Jimmy is home with me all week. Bad in that I learned that throwing a fit does work, and it does get you your way. I'm pondering on what I'll throw a fit about next. :)

Anyhow, yesterday my wonderful Donna (aka mother in law) watched Brynlee as she does every Monday. But instead of going to work, Jimmy and I grabbed some friends and went to Hurricane Harbor. So much better than work. In case you were wondering. I have no pictures from this experience on purpose. Me in a bathing suite sopping wet with a nasty fro is not good news. Definitely nothing that needs posting on the internet!

I've had bad experiences with water parks in the past. There isn't a roller coaster I won't go on, but I HATE water slides. So, one might think it's strange that I've been planning this trip to Hurricane Harbor since March. The truth is there is no where like a water park to get a great tan. And since being tan makes you look smaller and hides cellulite, well I'm all for that!

I made sure we went with another couple so Jimmy would have someone to go on slides with, and so I'd have someone to lounge in the lazy river with. So, yesterday I lounged in the wave pool and lazy river for about 4 hours. Yep, that is what my pal Chloe and I did. Lounge around while the boys went on every water slide in sight. I did go on 2 rids. I went on a raft ride with Jimmy. In hind sight that was stupid. Sure enough if he didn't rock the raft all over the place despite my squeals of terror. And flipped us over at the end when we came out. Oh but he didn't do that on purpose he said... right. For some reason when it comes to stuff like that I tell him I don't like it, so it makes him terrorize me even more. He was in the lazy river with us for 20 min and of course tried to shove me under and sneak up on me the whole time. He needs a little boy...

It was an absolutely perfect day. Perfect in everyway. Except that I did not get tan. I guess the 2 doses of SPF 50 waterproof sunscreen was overkill. But I've also gotten some of the worst sun burns of my life from water parks, so at least I'm not burnt. By the end of the day the bottom of my feet were in shambles. That whole system really is flawed. You either wear flip flops and have to carry them on rides. Or you wear those water sock things... no offense to those of you who sport those but no thanks! Can't do it. I'd rather have fried feet. So I did. Have fried feet that is. I spent any time out of the water running to shade and puddles to rest my feet in. Well I guess that is all part of the experience.

Today we took Brynlee in the pool in a baby floaty and she loved it. She did not want to get out. I have a feeling we will be using that floaty a lot this summer. Smart purchase on my part. Tomorrow is the mall, Friday is the zoo. The time in between will be filled with more trips to the pool and park outings. What a perfect way to ring in summer time!

Scattered

2011-06-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

When I was 6, we moved to Simi Valley. We had lived in an apartment building up to that point, and I was the only kid. My Mom promised me that I would have friends to play with when me moved. We looked at a few houses in Simi, but one stuck out like a sore thumb. When we looked at the house my parents now call home (and have for the past 21 years) a little girl was playing outside at the house next door. She was my age! Her name was Ashley, and she had glasses on with little hearts on them (it's funny the things you remember). Ashley told us there was another little girl who was six in the other house next door to her. Two little girls to play with!

Even though we looked at a few other houses, my parents decided on that one. Because they wanted me to have neighborhood kids to play with, for the first time in my life. We moved in on a Saturday, and I could not wait to go see if Ashley wanted to come out and play. Ashley and I became fast friends. And have been friends ever since.

Ashley moved to Nevada a few weeks ago. After living her whole life in Simi Valley. After living the last 21 years of it here with me. Due to conflicting schedules, and conflicting points in life I didn't get to see Ashley as much as I wanted to recently. But as she moved I couldn't help but have an overwhelming feeling. And then there was 1.

In high school, Megan, Audrey, Ashley and I faced the unknowns together. A new school, new teachers, all new people. New feelings, new boys, new girl problems to argue about. There were the four of us. We were together before school, together during school, together after school. And then Megan moved. And then Audrey moved. And now Ashley moved. Ironically to 3 different states. Come on guys, really? Could you make it any harder for me to come visit? Megan is in Arizona, Audrey in Utah. And now Ashley in Nevada.

And then there is me. And then there was 1... I wonder why I stay here sometimes. When so many others have left and moved on. And here I am still. I like being able to drive by my old elementary school. I like shopping at the same store I've shopped at for over 2 decades. I like it here. But it's more than that. I feel like I've turned into home base. People usually come back here to visit at one time or another. And when they do, I'll be here. If I wasn't here still, I would never get to see most of these people.

A lot of people cannot live without a beach. Me? Eh. I could totally be land locked, no problem. The beach is nice and all. Not that I get to it much. But all that sand in places. So not a good time.

So, if I ever move I guess it will have to be Colorado? That is the only place that makes sense right? I liked it there the week I spent there. Not a big fan of ongoing snow though...

Anyhow, my friends have scattered like dropped marbles on a tile floor. And here I am. If anyone wants to come visit home base anytime soon, you know where I'll be!

Observations

2011-06-09T08:43:00.001-07:00

On my way to drop Brynlee off at day care I drive by 3 schools. (an elementary, a Jr. high and a high school. How fitting).

That means it doubles my commute time because there are kids everywhere! I could go a different route. But I choose this route. Because I'm crazy and like traffic? No. Because I like to watch the kids going into school. Ok that sounds a little creepy.

But I like to watch the kids going to the elementary school. Most of them have a Mom or someone walking them to school, and I can't wait to do that. Or some kids walk alone looking to tiny to be able to do that. Their back packs look like they are taking over their whole bodies!

Then it's on to the Jr. High. Traffic is the worst here, because the kids are not old enough to drive yet. And must be too cool to walk because there are cars everywhere! Kids of all shapes and sizes hop out of the barely stopped vehicles and scurry into the Jr. High. I remember being that age, and remember doing that. It's such an awkward age, and believe me they look awkward. I look at these kids and don't understand what they are wearing. I guess I really am getting old. If you are a boy and your pants are tighter than mine, we've got issues. If you are a boy and your hair is matted down over your eyes so you can't see we've got issues. And you kind of look homeless. If you are a girl and your shorts could be considered glorified underwear, we have issues. But I like to drive by all the same.

Next comes my favorite. High school. I see kids driving their crappy cars into the parking lot with freshly earned licenses. I see kids walking to school (I guess that too cool to walk phase that attacks the Jr. Highers is over by this point). I see kids on the brink of entering their adult lives, with hope and fear in their eyes. I often wonder if I got out of my car, grabbed a back pack and joined them if anyone would think I don't belong. I don't look that much older than them right? Oh yeah I graduated 9 years ago... I might stand out. I remember the things I thought were important in high school. Stupid, stupid things. I wish I could go back in time and relive those 4 years. I would do it in a heart beat. I wish I could tell these kids this and actually have them believe me. Oh well, youth is wasted on the young.

Then I look in my rear view mirror and see Brynlee riding along. And I realize how much I've changed in the past decade. I bet you though my ride to day care would be boring. And, today I was even front and center for a fender bender. Never a dull moment.

I need to find some more friends. Particularly sports loving ones. While I work I like to have something on the TV in the background. Otherwise it's way too quiet and I can't concentrate. So I usually turn on Sports Center or E! news. The problem is E! then starts playing some version of a Kardashian show and I want to drive my pen in my eye. Even listening to them makes me want to take that pen I shoved in my eye and drive it into my ear too. So I've been sticking on Sports Center recently. However Sports Center just plays over and over again. Who knew? They must have it on a 24/7 loop or something. But now I'm well versed in any and every sports news tidbit there is. The problem is no one else is... darn. I have no one to talk to about my new found well rounded sports knowledge.

With every show in re runs now, I've become a sports watching fiend. I watch basketball, hockey, baseball, tennis. It's getting a bit nuts. Last night I dipped into my well stocked Jeopardy! vault and watched some of those just for a sports break.

I did read a really good book recently. "The Alliance" by Gerald Lund. It was phenomenal I thought and I read it in about 2 days. It really got me thinking and I like that. I would recommend it to anyone, LDS or not.

Brynlee now knows when I'm going to try to put a pony tail in her hair. And she high tails it away from me. I put her in her crib and she keeps shimmying along the railing back and forth. So her pony tail ends up in strange places. Sometimes I mean to put it on the side of her head. Sometimes i don't though and it seems to end up there anyway as she scurries away from me. I don't get how people get 2 pony tails in there. And with an even part and evenly space. Forget it. I'd have to drug her and tie her up to do that one I think.

I've continued to try to go running 2 days a week. Man I hate it. I really do. I still am not understanding why people do that for fun. I'm hoping if I keep at it I'll get to the point where I actually enjoy it. Maybe. It seems like a far fetched idea right now but it's only been 2 weeks. I do enjoy it for the first 30 seconds before I get tired. Then I hate it for the next 20 min or so. That hate to love ration isn't too bad right? Yeah. Maybe I need to find something else...

A Little Time

2011-06-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Jimmy and I went away just the two of us. Well just the two of us and some of my co workers. We went on my President's Club trip!

We got a free 2 night stay at this beauty:

The La Costa Resort and Spa

And we got a $130 room credit. Which we proceeded to eat our way though. We got room service, we hit the mini bar, we ordered movies. We did whatever we wanted. And it was all free!

On Saturday we hung out by the pool for a while. Jimmy decided to go down this slide. I watched from the bottom. Water slides and I don't mix. It's too hot in those tubes, and when you fly out into the water your bathing suit goes up your butt. Meanwhile, the life guard is yelling at you to get out of the water so the next person can go. No thanks! But Jimmy had a good time.

What did we do with the baby you ask? Well, we stuck her in her crib with a few bottles and hit the road! Just kidding. Obliviously. My wonderful parents watched her for us, and showed her the time of her life. She seemed to have a blast.

All and all it was one of the best weekends I've had. A few funny resort facts:

- our breakfast that we ordered was $56. Yep $56!

- There was a phone in our bathroom and Jimmy thought he would call my cell phone from it. It went straight to voice mail because I did not have any service. But the phone call ended up costing $10!

- Our room had a huge bathtub. I took 4 baths in 2 days. You know how I feel about baths! And, I proceeded to eat a box of Jr Mints and drink a diet coke while in the bathtub. If you can't do that kind of thing when you are on vacation, when can you do it?

-They had a game room for kids. Complete with free ski ball, ping pong, basketball, xboxs and pool. We played the basketball game and I won. Yay!

One Year Old and Wiser Too

2011-06-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

On May 22nd, Brynlee turned 1 year old!

In some ways it feels like this past year flew by. In other ways, it seems like I haven't slept in or had weekends full of "me" time in 20 years... it's an odd sensation.

Since Brynlee's B day fell on a Sunday, we had her party the day before. The weather was beautiful! I could not have asked for better.

Brynlee was very enthused about her first present. And did not want to get off it the whole party.

Uncle Robbie was a trooper and pushed her for a while.

She made out with quite a loot! That I had to help her open as she was hypnotized by all the pretty paper and bags. That's a baby for you. Just give her a bag and tissue paper and she is happy as a clam!

Tessa made her this beautiful cake.

Which she proceeded to devour.

And in the end it looked like this:

We shot some good video footage that I'll have to stick on here. When I' in a patient mood, which is not now. :)

Brynlee also got several books which she thoroughly enjoyed. A reader, just like her Mom. :)

All and all I'd say she had a great birthday. If she could talk I'm sure she would agree!

She now:

-Screams when she wants anything. Or is angry. This is not my favorite habit...

-Has taken a few steps here and there but is in no hurry to walk. And I'm ok with that. She will do it when she wants.

-Has become a picky picky eater. Ugh. The eating battle that will continue for the next 15 years I'm sure.

-Is getting put in timeout when she does something wrong. Not a long time out, but a short 30 sec one. It might seem early, but we can't have this little tiny tyrant running around all the time.

-Is too smart for her own good. She can almost reach our doors to open them. We don't have door knobs so we will have to find another method of childproofing. And knows what button she needs to push on the baby gate to get it open. If she was strong enough to push it she would probably be able to open the gate.

Happy Birthday Brynlee!

Really a Challenge

2011-05-31T10:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I fell behind on my challenge again. This was not as easy as I thought it was going to be. By the time I finish blogging about my daily topics, I don't want to blog anymore.

So, one last day for the cheap seats in the back...

Day 27, 28, 29, 30, This is going to be a looong one!

Day 27- What kind of person attracts you

Nice ones! Yes I like nice guys. I can't stand conceited jerky guys. Ugh. Just thinking about them makes me really angry. Especially since they are usually ugly and have no reason to be conceited anyway! I like guys who are willing to help people. And don't have to be asked to do it, they just jump up and help.

I went on a date once with a guy who liked me, and I was trying to decide if I liked him. We went to the movies, and he had a coupon for a free large popcorn and drink. I asked him how he got that coupon and he proceeded to tell me how he stole it. He was at the movies one time and saw a stack of these coupons laying on the counter. I guess an employee was supposed to do something with them and left them there for a second. So, my date decided it was a good idea to just take them all. Great! Who does that? And then is proud of it? And tells me about it like it's a good thing? That made my decision right there. Safe to say that date was our last.

So, I like honest guys. Maybe not brutally honest, but honest. You notice I'm not talking about physical traits here. Because to me I really feel that personalities matter most. If a guy is nice, honest, helpful and hot that is an extra bonus. But at the end of the day personality is what matters most.

Day 28- In the past month what have you learned?

Well, I've learned a few things. I don't think blog challenges are for me. The pressure to blog everyday, ugh. I don't like it.

I've learned that I like older babies. Despite Brynlee being into everything, and not eating really well I love her at this age. More than I've loved any other age. She is actually a person now. Not just a needy lump. And when I make her laugh and giggle it makes me so happy I could cry. I could just record her laughing and play it all day long. In my mind there is NO better sound.

I turn Sports Center on in the background while I'm working. I go to talk to people about the things I've seen or heard that day, and there isn't really anyone to talk to. So, I've learned that I need to find some sports loving friends, because I don't really have any anymore.

I've learned that May is one of my favorite months. It's usually warm, but not too warm. And it's sunny out and smells like fresh cut grass. And it's Brynlee's birthday, and we have a holiday. All in the same month! I love it.

Day 29- Something you could never get tired of doing

This is tough because I usually get tired of everything eventually. But some things I could just keep doing on a regular basis are:

Reading. Have I mentioned I love to read. I have a nice stock pile of books to read, and I love that feeling. Finish one, on to the next. Ah. It's nice.

Playing Games: I played TABU and won that game, played Catch Phrase and one that one, and then played 3 rounds of ladder ball on Monday and won all those. It was a good game weekend for me. Even if I don't win, I could just play games all the time. With brief intermissions to rest that is.

Being Outdoors: If the weather is nice. I love it outside. I love napping in a hammock on a warm summer day, or pushing Brynlee on the swings. I love to eat a picnic outside. I just love it out there.

Day 30- A photograph of yourself and 3 good things that happened to you this month

Ok this is from Saturday not today. I'm not about to hop in my bathroom and start trying to do self portraits again. Sorry! This is from a wedding I went to this weekend. I love weddings.

Three good things that happened to me this month:

1. Brynlee turned 1! We kept her alive for a whole year. And when she got an A+ at her well baby visit it made me really proud. Maybe I'm not so bad at this parenting thing.

2. I went for a run! Yes me, running. Ugh. I'm going to try to get into it. The last time I went for a run was over a year ago. But yesterday, I ran. And I felt really good afterwards. When I could breath normally again. :)

3. We found out that Jimmy's work will reimburse us for some of the money we pay for day care. Yay!

Soon to come: Brynlee's birthday post.

Day 26

2011-05-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

Day 26- A photo of somewhere you want to go

I've been feeling a little family sick recently. And this is where 90% of mine are. With the exception of my parents and one aunt and uncle. Jimmy and I were able to go back there in 2009, but it's been a few years now and it makes me sad that we won't be able to go this year. I wish I could pick this place up and just move it right next door. So it didn't require an all day flight and a lot of money to get there.

I look at people who are surrounded by family and I wonder what that is like. To have cousins and Grandmas close by. And see them on a regular basis. Thank goodness for my parents and my Aunt Lynne and Uncle Gary. Otherwise it would be really sad out here!

However I'm lucky enough to have family in such a beautiful place. And to be able to go visit as much as I have. Look at this place, who wouldn't want to go there?

See those two chairs? Those are waiting for Jimmy and I!

I think that is part of the reason why I'm so hesitant to leave Simi Valley. I want Brynlee to grow up around aunts and uncles and cousins and grandmas and grandpas. I know how important that is.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I live here in California. Humidity and my hair, not a good mix! I think about how brave my parents were, to come all the way out here and leave their families and way of life behind. I wonder who I would be if they had never done that. It's weird to think about.

On a different topic, Brynlee had her 12 month well baby visit. She is beginning to level off, and is not such a beast anymore.

Weight, 22lbs 75th percentile
Height, 29.5 inches, 75th percentile

They measured her head, but I can't remember what it was. The Dr said she got an A+ though. Yay! I can start getting her off bottles and formula. Finaly! I'll dance in the streets the day I don't have to wash another bottle. Or buy another can of formula. I gave her some whole milk last night with her formula and she took pretty well to it.

She will drink out of a sippy cup, but is not real enthused about it. So I think getting rid of the bottle is going to be the tough part. She has become quite the picky eater. And has quite the baby tude to go with it. She is now rejecting most of her old food favorites. I've read this is fairly common at this age. But then what do I give her to eat? Gerber veggie dip puffs seem to be the only thing she really really wants. That and cake. Great. I wonder how long she can live off of those two things? :)

Day 25

2011-05-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

Day 25-Who are you?

Wow. Vague much? Hmm.. who am I.

Well I'm a mess. In most aspects. I'm so disorganized. Once in a while I get on these kicks where I try to be organized, but then I end up just shoving things places. Jimmy has tried to color code my closet for me a couple of times. But it never sticks for long. I'm not a color coded kind of person.

I see these people with these nicely decorated houses, and cute little outfits and I don't get how they do that. I will always prefer flip flops over high heels. I do try to dress up once in a while, but I always feel like I'm trying to hard, and that it doesn't look natural. I own about 10 black shirts. And like 7 white ones. It's not that I don't like color, but I just always gravitate to those colors. I think because they are easy to pair with stuff. I'm not sure what to do with colors.

I worry too much. So you'd think I'd be organized. Nope, a worrying mess. Bad combination. I have a mountain of clothes on the foot of my bed. I whittle the mountain down, but it grows again. Now it's actually useful because I can hide from Brynlee behind it. She's not an idiot though, she knows I'm there. But it makes me feel better if she can't see me. Then it's like my own room, almost. Will I ever get to the point where I don't have clothes mountains around my room? Probably not.

Which leads me to the fact that I'm lazy. It's not real hard to hang a shirt up is it? No, it's not. But I just don't do it. I don't know how to change that about myself. I change it for like 2 weeks, and then the mountain grows again.

Lastly, I'm lucky. I've been on this kick recently reading all these depressing blogs. The blogs I follow don't usually update too much ( hint hint) so I've been forced to blog stalk people. I guess it's not stalking if you put your blog up on the internet for public viewing. That is what I tell myself. Anyway via other people's blogs I've stumbled upon a few that have kept my busy the past few weeks. One was a family whose 3rd child was born with down syndrome, one was a wife and mother of 4 kids who was dying from cancer at age 31. Two blogs were people who lost their little girls, one girl was 18 months and one girl was 5 months. And another was a family where the mother, pregnant with their 4th child suddenly died ( fetus died too) leaving the dad a widower. I've been addicted to these blogs. And have sat at home crying at my computer pretty much everyday. But have learned a few things too:

1. Calling someone a "retard" for doing something stupid is not acceptable. This was a habit for me, and I'm breaking it. I'm not using that term like that anymore, because it's hurtful to people and it's wrong. I challenge anyone out there who uses that word the way I used to to really think about what you are saying. And to stop saying it.

2. I'm getting my moles checked for cancer ASAP. Jimmy is getting his checked too. The earlier you catch it, the better. Obviously. Not that I didn't know that, but it's become more of a reality now.

3. Time is short, so cherish it. As I read about all these people who have lost loved ones I realize how much I take for granted. And how lucky I am that we are all healthy and together.

Reading these blogs has changed my attitude towards Brynlee. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm more patient with her. I enjoy her more. I see how lucky I am that I get to watch her grow and learn and be a kid. As she turned 1 I got my first ping of desperation. Desperation that she is growing and getting older and there is nothing I can do about it. She will never turn 1 again, and it really threw me. I think about how much those two Moms in those blogs who lost their babies yearn to feel like Moms again, and here I am irritated because I have to feed my kid and she makes a HUGE mess every time she eats.

So, I have learned. And I have changed. Who says there is nothing good on the internet?

Lots of Days

2011-05-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

Wow now I'm really behind. I'll have to make these short and sweet otherwise this will be a loooong post.

Day 21 A photo of something that makes you happy-

This picture is old but I love it. My crazy nut baby and her weird sleeping positions make me happy. I actually call her "baby nut" all the time. Because she is a nut. Especially when she sleeps. Who falls asleep like this? It makes me smile. Pretty much every Sunday when I drive her home from church I go to get her out of the car, and she is asleep with her head flopping forward. It looks so uncomfortable. And I push her had back against the car seat, and it just flops forward again.

Day 22- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Hmmm... I don't like this one. Skip!

Day 23-15 facts about me

1. My toe nails must always always be painted.
2. I love bread. Bread of all sorts and shapes and flavors. I don't usually need butter, just the bread. mmm...
3. I have a bachelor's degree in geography.
4. I waited in line for 12 hours to see O Town once. Not one of my finer moments.
5. I have a cat named Mitzie. My next cat will be named Trixie. So then I'll have a Mitzie and Trixie. I'm only interested in girl cats, no boys allowed!
6. I love forts and tents and crawling inside them.
7. Last night Jimmy and I played Yatzhee and I got a double Yahtzee! Wooo! Who gets that? It's actually my second time doing that too.
8. I have a birth mark on my leg, and a 4th grade mark on my arm. My 4th grade mark appeared when I was in 4th grade..duh
9. I have never gotten straight A's before. And I guess I never will now. I got all A's and 1 B one time, but that's it. :(
10. I've seen every Sex and the City episode about 14 times. And could probably recite them all in a monologue right now.
11. Yesterday Brynlee flipped off the changing table, and I caught her by her leg... Scary. My heart was pounding for like 10 min after that.
12. I can put both my legs behind my head
13. I am an only child
14. I love Revolutionary War history. Maybe that is why I'm so in love with Boston. Walking the freedom trail was on my most favorite things I've done. I love Titanic history too. And Dinosaurs.
15. I'm secretly ( well I guess not so secretly anymore) afraid that Jimmy and I will only have girls. Like it will be the universe's attempt to balance out the Cuillard boy/girl ratio. I know Jimmy is afraid of this too because he so desperately wants a son.

Day 24- A photo of something that means a lot to me

My religion. The older I get, the more I love it. And appreciate it. Things that seemed kind of like a chore before have become a privilege now. And I love that. I love learning, and teaching it. I know my parents have at times questioned whether letting me get involved with this religion was a good idea. But it was! It makes me really happy. And it makes me want to do good things. And be a better person.

Day 19 & 20

2011-05-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

Day 19- A picture of you in a mirror

This was tough! Really a lot harder than I thought it would be. I'm not one of those people who takes 100 pictures of myself a day and posts them on facebook. No offense to those who do... so it took me about 10 tries before I got a picture of myself in the mirror that wasn't blurry and that my hand was not blocking my face! A photographer, I'm not.

This is me in all my morning glory. NO make up, hair not done. I'm dressed because I had to take Brynlee to school. That is about it. So pretty. Poor Jimmy.

And I had to throw this in there, just because I think they turned out really well. See these nails below, I did them! By myself! Well with the help of my friend Sally Hansen and her nail stickers. But they were not the easiest to apply so I'm still proud.

Day 20- The meaning of your Blog name

Well I stole it kind of. From a poet named Robert Frost. His poem is called The Road Not Taken. Not sure if that is legal or not to kind of steal that. No one has shown up to my house with handcuffs yet, but maybe I've just been lucky. :) It's one of my favorite poems. If you haven't read that poem you will have to copy and paste this link because I cannot get my links to work right on here:

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-road-not-taken/

I like to think that I take the road less traveled with things. I try not to take the easy way out, or just do whatever anyone else does. Not that there is anything wrong with taken the well beaten path. Not trying to judge here.

But I like to march to the beat of my own drum. Stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone. I tell my Sunday School class this all the time. What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't practice what I preach?

Day 18

2011-05-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

Day 18- 5 things that irritate me about the opposite/same sex

Ok I realize there will be exceptions to all these, and that I'm speaking in generalities here.

Men:

1. They don't listen. Or if they do listen, it's not very well. And not when I'm talking.

2. They think their way is the best way, even if it's not. And even if their way is stupid and makes no sense.

3. When they attempt to bake/cook something, they make huge messes in the kitchen. Like a bomb went off in there or something!

4. They are superficial and care more about what is on the outside than on the inside. I'll never forget when I was on vacation one time with Ashley. We were with my cousin and walked by a group of guys. The guys proceed to say "attractive" or not "attractive" about all the girls walking by. Seriously? Who does that? Out loud and then laughs about it with their friends. Ooh it gets me fired up just thinking about it. The worst part is, it's not like this was a group of Brad Pitts either...

5. They don't think before they speak.

Women:

1. Fake! Pretending to be nice to someone's face, and then being mean to them behind their back.

2. The drama. Everything is the end of the world, everyone is out to get them, etc.

3.Competition. Refer to my post a few weeks ago. We all feel the need to compete with each other. I'm not sure why. I hate it!

4. Lying. It seems to me that women tend to lie more than men. Maybe that is because men don't think before they speak.

5.The judging. I guess this ties into the competition thing. But everyone judging each other. It's not good.

This post was pretty negative, so I'm going to now list 5 thing I like about each sex. To end on a good note.

Men, part 2:

1. The way they smell.

2. The way they can calm you down when you are freaking out. And make you realize it's really not a big deal after all.

3. The way they are always willing to kill that spider/rat/cockroach whatever. Eww.

4. Their competitive nature. This can be a bad thing, but if it drives someone to be better then what the heck.

5. The way it feels to hug them.

Women, part 2:

1. Always an empathetic shoulder to cry on. When you cry, they cry. We all cry. Together.

2. When periods synch up together. I love that. I'm not sure why. It makes me feel like sisters in menstrualdom.

3. They cook for you. I'm lucky enough to have been friends with some really great cooks and bakers. Yum!

4. When they boys are getting too competitive over a game, other girls are willing to throw the game with you in order to keep the peace and keep the monsters at bay. Winning is NOT that important.

5. They will do your hair and makeup for you! And let you borrow clothes if you need them.

Ah, that feels better. I love everyone! :)

Day 17

2011-05-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

Day 17- How you hope your future will be like

Oooh this is fun. I hope my future will be a happy one! I'm not sure what that means exactly. I hope there is a big house in my future, with multiple rooms and a nice backyard perfect for hosting. I hope there are a few more kids in my future. I hope I can stay home with my kids, and do fun things with them. And I hope Jimmy can find a job that he is good at but also enjoys.

I'm feeling reflective today. We are getting things in order for Brynlee's first birthday and I watched all the home movies we've made of her so far. Granted there are not a ton. But it became quite obvious that she is really not a "baby" anymore. She is turning into a little girl. I've been excited about her growth so far, but for the first time I got a little sad. Watching your kids grow is a funny sensation. It's exciting, but scary at the same time because you really see how fast time goes by.

I watched Brynlee take some of her first steps yesterday. They were not the first steps, I missed those. At least Jimmy saw them. I knew I would miss those first steps, joy of being a working Mom. But as she took her second step towards me it took my breath away. I find myself just staring at her now, waiting for her to change before my eyes because I don't want to miss it.

Day 14, 15, 16

2011-05-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

Wow I fell a little behind. Yikes!

Day 14- A TV Show you are addicted to

I have two. 2 main shows that I get really excited for. The first one is The Biggest Loser. This is my first season watching it. When this season started Jimmy wanted to watch it I was just like whatever about it. But then I got hooked. I love it! It's so fun to see people changing their lives, for the better. So many reality shows are about trashy women with fake tans misbehaving. Does that really deserve a TV show? Not in my opinion. So I love it when a positive show comes along that actually helps people. We are almost to the finale and I can't wait. Although my favorite people keep going home, I'm excited to see everyone at the reunion and to see how far they have come.

My other one is The Vampire Diaries. I love that show with all my heart. I'm not sure when/why this whole vampire craze got started. I don't really care about vampires one way or another, but I do enjoy all these new books and TV shows. Vampire Diaries is on Thursday night. When I wake up on Thursday and there is a new episode on, it's like the sun is shining brighter. Last week was the season finale. Ugh. So I guess that leaves me plenty of time to catch up on my Jeopardy episodes. My DVR thinks it's funny to not record Vampire Diaries sometimes, or cut out chunks of the show. It always does it to this show. And it makes me sooo angry!!! I'd just watch it live, but it's during Pilates so I'm stuck watching the recording. Or now I'm stuck watching nothing until it comes back in September!

Day 15- Something you can't leave home with out

Chap stick. I need chap stick. When my lips are dry, it drives me crazy. I have a lip gloss in my purse and I use it all the time. Naturally this is one of Brynlee's favorite things to get a hold of. If I leave my purse anywhere within her reach, she dashes for my purse, rips out my lip gloss and rips the cap of. She then proceeds to mash it into the ground. When I catch her doing this she shows it to me and says "dee". Not sure what "dee" means, but I'm pretty sure it's not sorry as she shows no remorse and can't seem to wait to do it again. I used to be able to put my purse on a little table by the door. Now she can reach that. Then I had to start putting it on the couch, but not she can reach that. So I have to put it on the dining room table now. When she reaches that I'll be in trouble. I'm going to have to install a hook on my sealing to hang it on.

Day 16- Your view on homosexuality.

Oh boy, we are really getting into the nitty gritty aren't we? I love all people, gay straight, white, black, brown, yellow whatever. I was not raised to judge people, and I strive everyday to do my best to stay judge free. With the exception of Yankee fans. Or Yankees players. I already start off not liking them, even when I know nothing about them. If we have kids who play in little league and they are ever put on the Yankees, I'll probably make them change teams. No I'm not kidding. No Yankee paraphernalia will ever touch my body, nor will you ever catch me cheering for the Yankees. Ever.

Anyhow, back to homosexuality. I think the fact that these kids are teased mercilessly because they make different choices than other people is horrific. I have met a few gay people that I did not care for. But it had nothing to do with their sexual orientation. It had to do with there personality. That being said, any loyal followers of my blog remember that I was out there holding the "Yes on Prop 8" signs back in Nov 2008. Honestly, that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But I do feel that marriage should remain between a man and a woman. If they were to make a different kind of union that gave gay people all the same rights as married people, I'm all for that. It's not that I don't want them to have rights. I just don't want marriage to be re defined. I realize that does not make a ton of sense. But whatever, they are my feelings and they don't have to make sense to anyone else. Same way you have sports for men and sports for women. You have the NBA, and the WNBA. We could have marriage, and “unity” or something. That would be just fine with me. Not sure if it would be fine with anyone else, but there you go!

Day 13

2011-05-13T15:47:00.001-07:00

Day 13- Your views on drugs and alcohol

I'm Mormon. The end. Just kidding. It could be the end though. I'm 27 years old, and have never had an alcoholic beverage, and have never done any drug. I think that is pretty neat. What's even neater is that my husband is the same way. So, when Brynlee gets older and we tell her not to do things we can honestly say we have never done them.

I have been tempted a time or too. But not tempted to the point where I thought I would give in. I'm usually surrounded with people who either share my beliefs, or if they don't they respect them and have never pressured me.

Jimmy happens to be friends with mostly non Mormon people. He is going to kill me for sharing this, but here is him a nut shell:

Notice anything odd here? Like how everyone else is drinking a beer and he has a Dr Pepper. I love this picture; I think it's so funny.

I look at how expensive alcohol is. It's crazy! I can't imagine spending that much money every time I went out to eat. A soda at $3.50 or so a pop is bad enough. Not sure how much drugs are... but I'm imagining those are expensive too.

Either way my view on drugs and alcohol is no thanks!

Day 12

2011-05-12T10:26:00.000-07:00

Day 12- Your current relationship

I am married. Well this is going to be a short post... just kidding! Ah marriage. Where do I begin? It's funny that this post should fall on today, because Jimmy and I just had a HUGE fight the other night. That ended in me throwing things and not talking to him for a day. Yeah... I'm PMS'ing too. Not that it's an excuse, but still.

The day care is closed for the last week of June. So, Jimmy and I both took that week off work so we can do fun stuff together as a family. Go to the beach, go to the zoo, play in the pool. Stuff we don't normally get to do together because time is short. Saturdays usually result in us dragging Brynlee around running errands. Sundays we go to church but don't go out.

So, I've been super excited to have a week together to relax. No errands to run, no time clocks to race. Just my family and lots of fun in the sun.

Jimmy is a boy scout leader. He told me back in Feb that he wanted to go to scout camp for a week. Ha ha good one! Leave me with the baby for a week... that's a good joke!7 days? Who does scout camp for 7 days? When we found out scout camp was during the week of our vacation that closed that book. No scout camp this year. Until this weekend when Jimmy found out that they do not have enough leaders for this scout camp, and if he does not go or find someone else to go the whole camp will be canceled. Yeah.

He put of telling me this news because he knew I would be irate. Finally on Tuesday he dropped the bomb. And I exploded. And cried. And had a fit. I guess he only has to go to 1/2 of it (he found someone else to go to the other 1/2 of it). So he will be gone from Saturday to Wed ( meaning traveling home on Wed, so that day is shot).

Some people might think I overreacted a bit. And I guess I did. I'm still upset though. Because now the visions of relaxing and doing fun things together that have danced in my head for the past 4 months are gone. Or cut in 1/2. Not that I would want the camp to get canceled. I'm not THAT selfish. :) I know he is making the right choice. It just SUCKS big time!

So life throws you curve balls, and plans change. What can you do? Not much, except for throw things and get angry. Been there done that...

Marriage is about compromise. I realize that he was put in awful position. And it's not really his fault. I'm sure I will remind myself of that many times during that week when I'm on 24/7 baby duty and Brynlee is driving me nuts. I keep saying I'm not a single Mom for a reason. Or a military wife. I'm just not cut out for it. I need a break now and then.

Most days I'm happy to be married. Some days I wonder what I got myself into. But that is normal. I think. I hope? Maybe I'm just digging myself a bigger hole here. Anyways, looking forward to day 13!

Day 10 and Day 11

2011-05-11T12:06:00.000-07:00

I missed a day. Oops. Yesterday sucked big time (one of the worst days I've had in a long time) and I was not in the blogging mood.

So, Day 10- A photo of your favorite place to eat

I'm not sure why I have such issues with these "favorite" topics. Favorite songs, movies, etc... I can't just pick 1!

So, maybe I'll break it down by category.

Fast Food-

Yep that's right I said it. I love it there! I'm sure some of my readers are writhing on the floor in agony at the thought of eating at Mc Donalds. Geez when did it become so un cool to eat there? Well always one to march to the beat of my own drum, I'm lovin it there. Fat/calories/MSG/crack whatever is in there food and all!

Family Dining-

You'd think because I worked there I would not like it! But nope, I love it here too. Really the menu is so versatile. They have everything there.

Expensive Dining-

I'm not sure if this would fall under everyone's idea of expensive dining, but it can get pricey! I love the bread, the steak. Ah. So good! We went there for dinner on my birthday this year and it was tasty! :)

Day 11- What's in your makeup bag?

Well, a lot. Which is funny because my make up has really become minimal. I remember in high school I would pull out all the stops. Mascara, eye liner, foundation, lip gloss, blush..

Now on Pilates days I usually don't even bother putting any make up on. I'm not one of those who looks good without either. I need that cover up, believe me! But I'm just lazy. So, in my makeup box ( because a bag would be too small) I have bare minerals foundation, blush and under eye brightener. I also have an assortment of eye shadows and lipsticks, mascara and eye liners.

I usually just wear foundation, mascara and eye liner. I'm to lazy to put on all the other stuff, and waaaay to lazy to take it all off at night. Ugh. What an ordeal. I'm not sure how often I put on mascara actually because I went to use it the other day and it was dried up. Hmmm.. when did that happen? I couldn't remember the last time I used it! Now I have to go spend $10 on new mascara. Jeez when did make up become so expensive?

In other news, I had a perfect first Mother's Day. It was wonderful. Brynlee made me paper flowers in a pot at school on Friday, and Jimmy surprised me with them on Sunday. I'm not going to lie, they made me cry. The first of many homemade gifts to come. I love them!

I'm feeling a bit under the weather, again. Yes again. Brynlee has had a runny nose for almost a month now. Surprisingly I have not brought her into the Dr. It seems as soon as you tell them your kid is in daycare, they assume that is the culprit. But how long is a runny nose supposed to last for? I'm trying to remember when she could breathe normally, and I can't. Poor thing.

Our weather here was really warm last week, so I took my first dip into our pool. Working from home comes in handy on days like that, because I can go lay out and swim on my lunch break. It helps to break up the day and relax me a bit. I loved it. Except I don't think they believe in heating my pool until summer. That is if they heat it at all. Because it was freezing! It was the first of many pool dips to come!

Day 9

2011-05-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

Day 9- A photo of the item you most recently purchased

Yep, a big old bag of candy! It's not even lunch time yet! This candy shop moved in down the street from my office last year. Ever since then, oh boy. Trouble. It's like a Sweet Factory type place, with jars and jars of yummy candy. I try not to go there too often (it helps that I'm only in office 2 days a week) but every once in a while I have to give in.

It's gloomy, cold, and Monday. It's definitely a candy day! :)

Day 8

2011-05-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

Day 8- A song that matches your mood

It's gloomy outside and I'm feeling contemplative. So, I'm going to say:

"There's Something Sexy About the Rain", by Kenny Chesney.

I love Kenny Chesney. He is one of the few people I've seen in concert. When Jimmy and I were engaged and having a hard time he surprised me and bought me Kenny Chesney concert tickets. I was so excited. Our seats were practically behind the stage, but it was an amazing experience. Jimmy wasn't too familiar with him them, but he took me anyway. Now Kenny is one of his favorites. I always say if you don't like country music, try him out and you'll probably be singing a different tune! :)

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mom's out there!

Day 7

2011-05-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

Day 7- Your Dream Wedding

Nah. I'm not doing this one (here I go deviating from the list on the 7th day!). I'm going to talk about my dream honeymoon instead.

On our actual honeymoon we went to San Francisco. Far away and exotic, no. But lots of fun, yes! Really cold in January though. One day we did a double decker bus tour of downtown San Francisco. I was so excited to sit on the top deck of the bus. But it was FREEZING!!!! I think I lasted up there for a little while in the cold and rain but then I gave up and went on the lower deck.

Anyhow my dream honeymoon. Have I mentioned that I like to travel? Oh that's right, probably about 100 times. :) So, for my dream honeymoon we would just go all over the place.

We would start in Paris, of course. I will get there one day, I don't care if I have to sell an organ to do it (I'm not kidding about this either, whatever it takes!). Then we would tour around the rest of France. I've heard the French countryside is amazing.

We would next hit up the British Aisles, all of them. England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. Next it would be on to Germany and Russia. This is a dream, so Russia would be safe and I would not fear for my life like I would if I went there now. After that we would go to Italy and Greece. We'd hop on over to Egypt so I could see the Pyramids. We'd then go onto Australia and end in Hawaii. Whew, we would be tired! :)

Day 6

2011-05-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

Day 6- A photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet

I love animals! Ok well not all of them. I don't like monkeys. The scare me, I'm not sure why. I've never liked them. When I go to the zoo I'd be happy to just steer clear of that whole section. That story about that chimpanzee turning on it's owner and ripping her face off...no thanks. I'm not really a dog person either. Unless it's an old tired trained dog. They I like them just fine. :) But when they are puppies and all spazzy and crazy, ugh. Exhausting.

I watch animal planet on a regular basis. There was a special one time on these beauties:

Seriously. How cute are they? They are called Wombats, native to Australia. Go figure. They are in the marsupial family, along with Kangaroos and Koala bears. I love them. They look like real live teddy bears. Not sure what kind of pet they would make. Probably not a very good one, look at those little razor claws. I think they like to dig too, so it would probably dig up my carpet. But that is ok, they are so cute I just can't stand it.

It's a bummer they are not at any zoos around here. I'm not sure if they are even at a zoo anywhere. I would have never heard about them if I hadn't seen that special on animal planet. I hope to see one in real life one day. As if I needed another reason to want to go to Australia! :)

Day 4

2011-05-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

Day- How Important do you Think Education is?

I love the game Life. It's one of my absolute favorites. I can never get anyone to play with them though... For those are unfamiliar with the game, in the very beginning you have a choice. You can take out $100,000 in student loans and get an education. You then have the POSSIBILITY to have a higher paying job. Or, you just go get a job. No student loans, but you cannot make the highest salary.

I used to always get the education. My parents put a very high priority on education and how important it is. It was engrained in my mind all growing up. So naturally when faced with that choice in Life I would go to college. I cannot think of one time I ever got that stupid $100,000 per year salary. On the contrary I would usually end up with a $60,000 a year salary card and the person next to me who opted to not go to school would get the $90,000. And I was stuck with a bunch of student loans. No fair.

That's right, it's not fair. I learned that after college. Just because you have a college degree does not automatically mean a pot of gold is going to fall in your back yard and make you rich forever. You tell an employer you have a Bachelors degree. So what, the guy in the waiting room to be interviewed next has Masters.

I'm not trying to say that I think education is not important. I think it's flawed. I think a higher emphasis needs to be placed on education in the early years. Like 1st though 12th grade. That is where you pick up your study habits. That is where you learn basic math, English, science etc. And of course that is where you have 40 kids in one class and budget cuts causing you to have 10 people in your lab group.

I enjoyed college. And I miss it immensely. It was nice to be able to pick classes that I was interested in for once. But you only get out of college what you put into it. At the end of my college career I had a degree but no idea what I wanted to do with it. I did no internships, I spent no time in the career center. So I fell into travel agentdom, and here I am. Not that there is anything wrong with it. But safe to say I'm not bringing in the big bucks. In fact it would be nice to have my life card salary back again.

I think Colleges should put a higher emphasis on job placement after school. Or maybe offer whole classes that will help you figure out what you want to do after you get out of there.

On the flip side of this, not everything is about money. I had experiences in college that don't translate to dollar bills, but they do perhaps make me a more well rounded person. Too bad I can't make any money of telling someone what the capital of China is. But I look at my college degree and I am overwhelmed with pride. I worked my butt of for that thing!

I can't wait for Brynlee to start school. I know I'm weird. I can't wait to help her read and write and learn her times tables. And to take her to staples and buy her school supplies. I remember my parents practicing my times tables with me over and over again. Or helping me make a giant solar system diagram for a math class in Jr. High. That I got an A on. :) Those are some of my favorite memories.

Day 4

2011-05-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

Day 4- Your Favorite Photograph of Your Best Friend

Ok here she is!

Just kidding. Although on days when I work from home and am alone all day she is there to keep my company. If my family allowed it, could seriously become a cat lady. I'd probably have 20 of them if I could!

Anyhow, here is a few of my favorite pictures of my actual best friend:

#1

#2

#3

Ta da! It's my husband. I think when you get married your spouse ends up being your best friend by default. After all that is usually who you spend most your time with. Unless you have sisters or something I suppose. But I don't have any of those so, Jimmy wins. Yay he'll be so excited. He loves winning. :)

I do miss my other best friends. So I'll give some honorable mention to Megan, Audrey, Ashley, Debbie, Nicole and Carla. All these ladies have been there for me at one time or another and I miss most of them dearly. Except for Carla who I still see on a regular basis.

Anyway, back to my husband. I chose picture # 1 because I love that he is not afraid to be silly. Granted I forced him to pose like that for a picture. And at first he looked around at all the people walking by that would see him doing it. But he jumped to the lion pose anyway. He is never afraid to act crazy like me. He, I can honestly say does not care what people think of him and I admire that.

I chose picture #2 because it shows how much he loves our daughter. And how much she loves him. He has never been a sideline sitting Dad. He is in the trenches with me everyday and I love him for that. It will probably change when/if I am ever able to stay home with our kids, but for now we take care of her 50/50. When she is not at school. When Brynlee sees her Dad she gets so excited it melts my heart. I always knew he would be a great Dad.

I chose picture #3 because I think he looks hot in this one! He really is so photogenic. As soon as we went outside to take these pictures Brynlee spit up carrots on her white shirt. *sigh*. That's a baby for you!

That is my best friend in a nut shell. A very small nut shell because there is so much more to him. But I won't get into that now.

Lastly, get your tissues ready! Watch this and be amazed! It's on the LDS website but fear not my non LDS readers, I think you will enjoy it too.

https://lds.org/youth/video/daytons-legs?lang=eng

Day 3

2011-05-03T10:46:00.000-07:00

Day 3-
Your Idea of a Perfect First Date:

I have not been on a ton of first dates, but I've been on a few. And they all had one bad thing in common.

Eating! Eating in front of someone you hardly know while trying to make conversation is tough. I remember on one date I ordered a mushroom Swiss cheeseburger. Ha ha so typical of me. I love my cheeseburgers! Anyhow there we are trying to talk and my breath smells horrific and I probably had mushrooms hanging in my teeth. He didn't seem to mind though, because he asked me out again. But I decided after that I'd order more date friendly food next time.

My first date with Jimmy I didn't even touch my food. He probably thought I was so weird. I was so nervous and self conscious. The last thing I wanted to do was dive into a sampler platter at Yankee Doodles!

Guys are so hard to please. You complain if we eat too much because you don't want to date a future fatty ( my husband has not said this, but I've heard it from others. True story. Men...), but if we don't eat you complain about that too. What is it you want exactly then?

So, my ideal first date would not involve eating right away. I think it would be a trip to the park. A day date, not a night date. I love the park. Maybe spread a blanket out on the grass and just chit chat and get to know each other for a while. We could play some park games like horseshoes or Ladder Golf. I guess we could eat after that, once I was more comfortable. And I probably would not be ordering some giant smelly cheeseburger. I'd reserve that for date 2. :)

No kiss at the end. I never liked that either, someone who tried to kiss me on the first date. You usually don't even know each other at that point!

It's strange talking about this, considering I'll never have another first date again. Thank Goodness!

Challenged

2011-05-02T16:26:00.000-07:00

Ok so this is my 2nd post in 1 day. What a treat! To think that some people only post every 4 months...

Anyway I've always wanted to do a blog challenge. You know, 30 days 30 posts. I found a challenge online and did not read all the days yet because if I do I'll probably back out and not do it because there are bound to be some things on there I do not want to talk about.

It's already May 2nd so I'll do my post for May 1st and 2nd in this one. Wow so much blogging today! :)

Day 1- Your favorite Song

This is kind of tough for me. I like a bunch of different songs. Really, I have to pick just one? Hmm...this one is probably not my absolute favorite but I really like it. And I don't know what my absolute favorite is and it hurts my head to think about so I'm going to go with this:

Hey Soul Sister by Train.

It's funny I picked this song. Jimmy hates it. Whenever I play it he sings loud and obnoxiously off key to try to be annoying (mission accomplished!).

It came out right around when Brynlee was born. When she was new, I had to do this crazy dance around shake routine with her to get her to sleep at night. So every night I'd put on this song and dance with her around my house. Usually by the end of it she would be asleep. I'd put her in her crib and she'd pop right back awake (curse!). But eventually she'd stay asleep once I put her in her crib. It makes me think of summertime and babies and sunshine. And it makes me want to dance so I like that.

Day 2- Your favorite Movie

Another one of these? Maybe this is why I haven’t done these before. I can't pick this one very easily either. I love a lot of movies, but I gues I'll go with:

Runaway Bride

I love this movie. I think the first time I saw it was 15 and at my friend Audrey's house. I proceeded to fall asleep in the middle of it. Ha! It was not movie love at first sight. But then I watched it a few dozen times and it grew on me. And grew. There was a while there when I watched it every night. I love Julia Roberts. I love Richard Gere. I love them together in that movie.

What will day 3 hold? We'll just have to wait and see (unless you too are doing this challenge and then you know already).

Mixed

2011-05-02T09:35:00.000-07:00

For anyone living under a rock, US Navy Seals successfully took out Osama Bin Laden last night. For anyone living even further under that rock, Bin Laden claimed responsibility for the 9/11 attacks, and the US has been hunting him down for 10 years now.

My first thought after hearing this was great pride. And Joy. And elation. I don't normally feel this way when someone dies. And for a second I felt sad that everyone is so happy that someone's life has been taken.

I have mixed feelings about the death penalty. In cases like Jeffrey Dahmer (Jimmy and I watched his Bio on Friday night so now I'm well versed. Isn't that how everyone spends their Friday nights? No?) He committed his terrifying crimes in Wisconsin, a no death penalty state. But some inmates shanked him in the back, so he ended up dying anyway. I'm usually not a fan of killing people, but when someone who is so sick and messed up admits to killing double digits of people and doing horrific things with their bodies I can't help but wonder. Is life in prison really harsh enough for something like that?

I realize that Bin Laden was probably raised from birth to hate and kill. Has he ever known any different? Not likely. So, in a way he was just doing what he was taught right? A learned behavior. But does that mean he shouldn't be held accountable for his actions? I think not. Somewhere in his mind a human instinct must have clicked on telling him that killing thousands of innocent people and devastating a country was the WRONG thing to do. Despite everything he had been taught. But, he orchestrated 9/11 anyway. And proudly claimed responsibility, continually gloating in our faces.

So, when all is said and done I'm about 0.5% sad that the world is rejoicing that someone was killed ( and this is really just because I hate killing, and has nothing to do with who was killed) and 99.5% elated that we no longer have to live in fear of that nut job. Other nut jobs will come forward of course. But 1 down, plenty more to go.

I'll even take it one step further and say that I think a bullet in Bin Laden's head made his death waaay to easy. I'm not a fan of torture either. But when you watch video of 9/11 footage and hear the bodies hitting the ground after jumping 20+ stories to escape burning to death you start to think otherwise.

My favorite part of all of this was seeing people gathering at ground zero last night at 1:30 in the morning. People waking up and coming out of their houses to celebrate the death of a terrorist responsible for taking so many lives. Knowing that plenty of these people had family and friends that were killed in those 9/11 attacks 10 years ago. And knowing that a tiny bit of justice was served. I hope the families of those 9/11 victims went to bed last night with smiles on their faces. And probably for the first time in the past 10 years were able to get some closure to help them heal.

President Obama said that the world is a better place without Bin Laden in it. I’m not too quick to believe politicians these days. But in this case I agree 100%.

New Habits

2011-04-28T17:03:00.000-07:00

Babies are funny. I had no idea how funny Brynlee would be to watch. She is really entertaining. Brynlee carries things with her when she crawls. She will see something, pick it up and then crawl with it clenched in her hand. I find random things all over the house because she has carried them there. On Easter she was crawling around with a plastic Easter egg in each hand. One morning Robbie gave her a pancake. He didn't feed her pancake pieces, he just handed her a whole pancake. Well she took off with it, crawling along. She left a pancake trail all over the carpet. She'd crawl, stop and take a bite, and then keep crawling.

She is the biggest mooch. It reminds me of having a dog again. If you are eating or drinking something, she will mosey on over and climb up your leg begging for food. If you don't give her any she will get angry and yell at you. Jimmy and I cannot eat a meal with out her all over us trying to get at our food. It doesn't matter if she has just eaten, it doesn't matter if she has her own food. She just wants YOUR food, no matter what it is. She probably continues to do this because I always share with her (how can you say no to such a cute face?).

She has started bear crawling (on her hands and feet). She looks pretty funny doing that. At least she is keeping her legs clean though. I hate how dirty her pants and socks get from crawling around. It grosses me out.

She is not a Mommy's girl. Or a Daddy's girl. She is an anyone's girl. As long as she is not completely alone in a room, she is fine. She could be with a stranger and would be happy as a clam. I bring her to day care now and she lunges out of my arms for the day care lady. Yes I must be a great Mother! She does this every morning. I asked the day care lady if that was normal and she said yes. Hmm... I think she is lying. I keep telling myself I'd rather have her do that then be clinging to me crying. Because then I would drop her off and come home crying everyday. But it would be nice if she didn't lunge away from me with such vigor. I guess she really really likes that day care!

Her wake up time somehow shifted from 7:00-7:30 to now 6:00-6:30. Not so ok with this one. Why baby, why? I fear for when we turn the clocks in fall. Will she be waking up at 5 then? She used to wake up at 8, and then in fall when we changed the clocks it turned to 7. I figured in spring I'd get that hour back, but she just decided to wake up even earlier. Brynlee, you are going in the wrong direction! I've thought about putting her to bed later, but she goes to bed at 8 now as it is and I'm usually not too far behind her. The idea of having to keep her up at night until 9, ugh. Not so enticing.

We are already struggling about her hair. That is one of the perks of having a girl right? It's like a real live doll that you get to dress up and stuff? I never imagined that my doll would rip out every hair thing I tried to stick on here. Hair bows, forget it. I can put an elastic in her hair and she will keep it in for a little while but once she figures it out she keeps pulling on it. On Sunday I got her all in her Easter dress, with a cute little pony tail and clip in her hair. In the middle of church she discovered it and pulled it right out. I tried to just put in the clip and she pulled that out too. I'll have to try to do the elastic tighter next time...

Pretty soon she will be 1. I remember pre baby thinking that 1 year olds were more like toddlers than babies. Wrong! She is very much still a baby. But she is also turning into a little lady and has quite the personality!

One Fine Day

2011-04-26T09:54:00.001-07:00

I was lucky to get some pretty sweet stuff for my birthday this year. I am spoiled. Just a little bit.

Robbie, being the wonderful brother in law that he is gave me a gift certificate for me and a friend to go get massages and facials. Believe me, I could use a massage. It has been a WILD year and I'm tired.

I'm not going to say Robbie is more feminine than Jimmy...ok maybe he is just a little. But he thinks of stuff like massages. He is more in touch with the pampering side. His grooming is impeccable. I think he might have been called metrosexual once or twice, much to his chagrin. Either way I'm grateful for that side of him because I scored big time. He is a great gift giver. The past 2 years he has given me a subscription to US Magazine for Christmas. I love that magazine. I know that is not helping with my struggle against worldliness but I look forward to it every week and get so excited when it comes.

Anyhow, I've never had a massage before. They are ridiculously expensive, and I'm not a naked person. The idea of getting naked and having some strange person rub all over me gives me anxiety. Since I work from home, usually by myself all day I've had people ask me if I walk around naked. Umm...no. Do people do that? I'm fully dressed while working, thanks.

But, I would face the naked fear to get a massage. I brought my friend Chloe with me (see it pays to be my friend, and live in the same state!). She is actually a masseuse so she is well versed in the protocol. I changed into my robe and went into the little massage room. I got under the covers only to hear a knock at my door. My masseuse locked herself out. Oops. I had to go crack the door for her and then hop back under the covers for her to come in.

But what happened next... there are no words to explain. It was wonderful! The dim lights, the soothing music, the pleasant smell. The whole thing. I almost fell asleep like 4 times. I can't think of the last time I was that relaxed. My masseuse was great, granted I have no point of reference here. But if she was able to get me that relaxed she has some skills. It felt so great I didn't even think about the fact that some strange lady was rubbing lotion all over my 98% naked body. See now thinking about it freaks me out again.

Next up was the facial. That was pretty enjoyable as well. Except for the whole extraction part. The part where they take their tools and dig at your face. Yeah. That was not so nice. If there is stuff hiding in my pores, let it hide! If I can't see it I don't care if it's there. Lets not bring it up to the surface. Because now I do see it, and now I do care that it's there. But after the extraction part the rest was wonderful. She used some kind of lemony something and it smelled so good.

I can see why people get these things on a regular basis. It can add up to be quite a costly habit though. It will just have to be a treat for now, maybe one day I'll be able to afford to get them more often. And if not, that is ok. :)

I came home to a cranky baby who decided to skip her nap and make everyone pay the price. So I didn't stay relaxed for too long, but it was nice while it lasted. Saturday was a great day.

My Sunday School class has been going better. No racial jokes at least. I think I nipped those in the bud. We were discussing Brigham Young this week, and I had a picture of him on the board. The boys in the class asked me how he grew that crazy beard. I told them you have to go through a thing called puberty first. Some of them proudly boasted that they had a few facial hairs. One kid even claimed to have 10. Thirteen and fourteen year olds can be pretty funny sometimes. Them being so proud of their piddly facial hair kept me smiling all day.

Since it was Easter I flooded them with baked goods and candy. I guess that helps too. The vigor in which those boys ate those cookies frightened me a little bit. Like a pack of lions with a wildebeest. Do the parents of these kids not feed them? I guess that is growing boys for you. Needless to say there were no cookies left. One kid proceeded to take the bag and empty the crumbs into his mouth. Hey at least he didn't start licking the inside of the bag right? That is something!

The Balancing Act

2011-04-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

I feel like there is a plague sweeping through. Like it is everywhere tempting us and chasing us. Like there is no escaping it. It’s only a matter of time until you get it and fighting it just a waste of energy.

Worldliness. It’s all over.

I often wonder how healthy it is to live here in California. Southern California especially. It feels like it can really negatively affect someone’s psyche. Granted I’ve lived here all my life and don’t know anything different. But in the limited amount of time I’ve spent traveling, it doesn’t seem to be as bad everywhere else. Still out there yes, but not to this extent.

I find myself pondering on this a lot recently. I feel like everyone here is playing the game of Keeping up with the Joneses. I don’t really want to play that game. I love games yes, but not that one.

When I was a teenager, the boy band craze hit big time. I stayed out of it for a while. I didn’t get caught up it in. I refrained, even though it was all around me. But eventually it got me. I fell into it. Posters of *NSYNC went up on my wall, and I spent my time pining after singing boys I would never have. I don’t regret that. It was a fun time, and now I can look back at it and laugh hysterically. But eventually the mob mentality got to me, and I joined the pack.

It’s like worldliness is a boy band craze. It’s everywhere. Even in places it shouldn’t be. Like LDS church members. For those non LDS’ers, we are counseled over and over again about the dangers of falling into a worldly lifestyle. It is dangerous. It’s fake, and temporary and a very slippery slope. To think that you are better than someone because you have a bigger house than they do, it’s completely ridiculous.

But it’s there. I do feel like I’m being judged, all the time. Judged about how skinny I am, or am not. Being judged about the fact that I use Costco formula rather than Similac. Being judged because I use formula in general. Being judged because I rent a town house with my brother in law and have a baby living in my room. Being judged because my shirt is from Walmart and my pants are from Target. I’m sure part of this is in my head. But I’m observant enough to know that part of it is not. And it makes me sad.

Sad because we as people do this to each other. And sad that I actually care. I’ve gone off about this before, but I hate that fact that we have been conditioned by society to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.

I find myself thinking sometimes, “If I had that pretty $200 purse I would be happy”. “If I lost just 5 more lbs things would be better.” I find myself actually thinking about plastic surgery. Maybe I could use some larger boobs… Really? Really. Are these thoughts really crossing my mind? It’s horrifying. Not that there is anything wrong with breast implants (I’m really not meaning to offend here, to each his own I say!). But for me, no. It’s just not right for me. I’ve never cared about having small boobs before. I was teased all through elementary school for having small boobs. Why is it now I find myself suddenly caring? Maybe if I’d wanted them my whole life that would be one thing. But it never bothered me before and it suddenly does now. Why is that?

It probably has to do with the images that are splashed in my face all day long. On TV, in my magazines, on Facebook. Even on the news for goodness sake. Everywhere I turn is how I’m “supposed” to look. Well guess what. I don’t look that way, and probably never will. No matter what size boobs I have.

The key here is balance. At least I’m in tune enough with myself to know when the balance is being thrown off. Of course we want to look attractive and have nice things. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. It’s when that need starts to take over your life and become priority number 1 is when there is a problem. I should take pride in my appearance, and if I want to splurge on a purse once in a while I think I should. Not a $200 one, but spending a little extra on something nice on occasion is not the end of the world.

No one can make you feel bad about myself unless YOU let them. That is one of those things that is much easier to preach than to practice. Believe me, I know. But it’s so true.

I love that Facebook has allowed me to re kindle friendships with people I’ve fallen out of touch with. It keeps me up to date on people’s lives and I appreciate that. I think there are a lot of positive things about Facebook. But I think there are a lot of negative things about it too. I’m going to go on a Facebook hiatus for a while and see what happens.

I don’t want this plague of worldliness to catch me. I keep trying to resist, but it’s hard. It’s like we are playing tag and worldliness is it. I always sucked at playing tag when I was little. The idea of someone chasing me freaks me out. I’m going to try to fill my time with more positive things to help ward of the bad. My blog seems to be full of challenges. Some have gone better than others (I’m still getting dressed everyday! Yay!). I guess that is what life is all about though. Challenges.

Birds of Feather

2011-04-21T16:03:00.000-07:00

As I was driving today, I saw a flock of birds flying together. Maybe I'm in a weird mood, but it shocked me for a second. Why do they do that? For protection? From what... all the other flying objects that might threaten them? Bad news birds, if a plane is coming at you, line or no line you are toast.

I started to wonder, are they friends? And they like to fly together and that is why they do that? Or are they family maybe? Do animals have the ability to become friends with each other? I’d like to think so. My mind started going and going...

I think about strange stuff like that. I wonder if Brynlee will too. The older she gets, the more I think she looks like me. That makes me kind of sad. I know that is strange and probably a bit messed up. I figured she would look like me, but there are things about my appearance that I have struggled with for a long time, and I don't want her to have to go through the same thing I have (please let her have straight hair, please let her have straight hair...)

At day care today when I dropped her off a little blond boy came up to hug her. Here she is with these boys again. Anyway I asked him if Brynlee was his friend. And he said yes. I asked him if he thought Brynlee was pretty and he said yes. Good job 2 year old, that is the correct answer.

I started to think about what would happen if when Brynlee is a teenager someone makes her feel as ugly as some people made me feel growing up. I think they better watch out, that's what. I may seem nice and pleasant at first, but believe me. You don't want to mess. Future suitors of my daughter, watch out.

When Brynlee was sick in the hospital I worried people would be afraid of her. Treat her like she was a leper, like there was something wrong with her. That she would pass her illness on to them. Turns out we only had one incident of that. That person is not one of my favorite people. Just thinking about him gets me angry all over again. He will probably forever be on my "bad" list. And it’s a pretty short list since I get along with just about everybody.

It's hard to tell what kind of temperament Brynlee will have at this age, but she reminds me of me some ways there too. When she pulls herself to a stand, she is afraid to get down. She wants you to help her. If you don't help her, she screams at you until you do. She is cautious with things.

I'm cautious. A little too cautious I think. I'm not a risk taker and I'm not a dare devil. Which is ok. But I wish I wasn't so scared to do things sometimes. I was never a fearless child, and am definitely not a fearless adult.

I'm not too worried about Brynlee being overcautious as I'm sure her dad will force that trait out of her. I really hope we eventually have a boy. Otherwise Brynlee is in trouble. Jimmy has big dreams for a strong brooding child...

I've realized a few mistakes we've made as parents. I guess you learn from experience right? First, I never made/taught Brynlee how to hold her own bottle. So, now at 11 months old when we are close to a time when I'd like there to be no bottles at all, I still have to hold it for her. Second, I guess feeding her snacks on the floor was not a good idea. Sure our floor is pretty clean. But now she tries to eat ANYTHING of the floor she finds. Lint, paper, pennies, dirt. Hmm... We didn't think that one through to well.

I picture our kids up in Heaven in pre existence. I picture them drawing straws to see who would get stuck coming down here first to train us as parents. Brynlee obviously pulling the short straw because here she is, dealing with us and all our inexperience and uncertanties. The trade off is that she will get all the new toys and clothes while the other kids will be stuck with hand me downs.

I wonder if she will grow up and be amazed looking at a flock of birds flying together like I am. Or if she will think I'm nuts for being so entranced at some pigeons. We'll just have to wait and see about that one!

A Star is Born

2011-04-19T16:19:00.000-07:00

When I got my license at 16 I was lucky enough to have a vehicle to drive. I was un lucky enough for it to be a mini van. Just kidding, that van got where I needed to go. At the time, it sure beat walking.

For a while right before I got my license my friend Ashley and I would go to school not sure how we would get home. My parents have always worked full time, and Ashley's parents had fluctuating schedules. The friends whose parents we'd come to rely on for rides growing up now had after school engagements. So we were stuck and on our own. We'd get dropped of at school and have money for the bus, worst case scenario. The bus was sooo not an option we were interested in exploring. So we'd take turns. One day I'd find us a ride home, the next time she would find us a ride home. It was a nerve wracking way to be! Until I got my license and my parents so kindly let me drive our green mini van.

Not the kind of car that every 16 year old wants to drive. But it got the job done. At least I had a car. But a mini van? Ugh. Is there a worse car for a teenager to drive? It was mortifying at times. I would wait until all the other kids had cleared out of the high school parking lot before I left, because I did not want people to see my in my van. If I was leaving Target and I saw a hot guy in the parking lot, I'd walk over to a cute little sedan and fiddle with my keys until he left. Then I'd walk over and get in my van. I loved that the van got me from point A to point B. But I hated that van because , well it was a van!

A few years later my 18th birthday was looming around the corner. I was desperate for a different car. Any car. Used, semi functioning. I'd take anything that was not a mini van at that point. My Dad kept teasing me telling me they were going to get the van a new paint job for my birthday. Ha ha Dad, good one. You are joking right? Tell me you are joking. You can't be that cruel.

At 5 am on my 18th birthday I woke up to my Mom yanking me out of bed. I was half asleep and extremely confused. She drug me out of the house to the front yard. And there it was. A NEW car! With a big huge bow on it. Ahhh!! It was like a scene straight out of a movie. Sophia was born. She was perfect in every way. The color, the size, the spoiler ( how sporty looking! So the opposite of a big ugly van!), the smell. She was beautiful. I think that is one of the happiest moments of my life. I could not wait to drive to school. Everyone at school was super excited and wanted to come see my new car. I was so proud. There was no waiting until everyone left the parking lot that day, I was happy to be seen getting into and driving my car.

I'll be forever grateful to my parents for that car. I think about how truly lucky I am to have been given a car and a college education. I can't imagine if we had 2 car payments instead of 1. Or 2 people's student loans to pay off instead of 1. My parents have always worked really hard to provide for me, and to be financially sound. We were never rich, but I was always well taken care of. My parents are pretty awesome like that.

I still have Sophia, 9 years later. She has quite a few miles on her now (stupid job!), but she is running loud and proud. I plan on getting quite a few more years out of her. It's funny now with Brynlee, I think about how nice a van would be to have room to tote her and all her baby crap. My how time changes things! But for now Sophia works just fine. Maybe if I had less crap in my car there would be more room for baby crap. But that is a topic for another day...

Sunday Best and Service Saturday

2011-04-18T11:47:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday morning is a mad dash to get ready for church. For some reason it takes me twice as long to get ready on Sundays as it does any other day of the week. Not sure why that is. We have church at 9, so basically once Brynlee is up we need to feed her and start the Sunday morning scramble. This Sunday, we were actually semi on time (meaning by like 5-10 min, a record!).

I have a neighbor named Bob. Bob is one of the nicest people. He is a widower, and has a little dog named Samantha. The dog is... not so nice. Ok she isn't that bad, but she is a loud yippy dog with a serious little dog syndrome. And even more little dog attitude to match.

Bob was outside when we left to venture to the car. He came over to say hi to us, and told us how nice it was to see young people dressed up and going to church.

When we got home Bob was outside again. He asked us what church we go to and Jimmy chatted with him a bit. I was counting spots on the lady bug that landed on my arm. I think I've developed some serious ADD issues. I'm not sure what my deal is but I cannot pay attention for extended periods of time! Anyhow Bob again praised us for looking so dapper in our Sunday best. He said that he goes to church too, but you don't dress up for his church. He said he misses getting dressed up sometimes.

I realized a few things from this experience.

1. I really do enjoy dressing up for church. It's nice to have 1 day a week where the whole family really does it up right. I love putting Brynlee in cute little church dresses and shoes. I love putting that extra umph into my appearance. I love seeing my husband dolled up in a suit and tie. Sometimes it would be nice to just throw on some jeans, but when all is said in done I'm happy to dress up.

2. You never know who is watching and what kind of impression you will make. I often forget that. I represent the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I need to act as such. I'm human and make mistakes like everyone else, but you never know when your actions will bring on (or snuffle out) a missionary experience. Because we were dressed up, Jimmy was able to share a bit with Bob about our church (as I was counting lady bug spots...). It doesn’t mean Bob will be coming to church with us next week, but we were able to get to know our neighbor a little better, and he was able to get to know us.

Saturday morning Jimmy participated in a service project. I was on baby duty (can't really pull weeds very well with a 1 year old), so Jimmy represented us on his own. Pull weeds. That is what he did for several hours. With hundreds of other people. That is one of the things I really love about my church. People will not hesitate to get their hands dirty (literally) and help others. At 8am on Saturday.

Later that day, Jimmy told me about another experience he had. He was trying to get to the freeway, the light was green and traffic was not moving. Turns out there was a stalled car blocking the path. The stalled car put on his emergency flashers and the other cars started to swerve around him. My husband pulls his car up and stops to see if he can help. Turns out it was a man who couldn't get his stick shift up the hill. He kept stalling and rolling backwards. The man did not speak English very well, but Jimmy was not deterred. He offered to drive the man’s car up the hill and pull it off to flat ground so the man could then resume his driving. The car owner obliged, and Jimmy left his car sitting in the middle of the street while he helped this man out. I'm not sure what this man will do when he gets to another hill and Super Jimmy is not around to save the day...

It left me wondering yet again what I would have done in that situation. Actually, I don't have to wonder. I would have driven past the man, just like everyone else and not have thought twice about it. I can't drive a stick shift, so it’s not like I could have helped anyway. But that is beside the point. I definitely would not have gotten into some strange man's car with him either. That sounds like the plot for a bad Lifetime movie. But I can guarantee that the thought to inconvenience myself and stop to help someone else would probably not have crossed my mind. I really want to work on that.

My husband can be a bear sometimes. Really, he drives me nuts. A lot. I find myself wondering how we have made it 5+ years without killing each other. But he is also a great example to me. And a genuinely great person, who is constantly striving to be better. He inspires me. When all is said and done I guess that is enough to override is annoying man habits! :)

Pop!

2011-04-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

Some things really freak me out. Like the noise people make when they brush their teeth. Or if I’m lying out, and I’m on concrete. And my feet hang off the towel (because towels are NEVER long enough) and my toenails hit the concrete. I hate it! I hate the feel, I hate the noise. Ugh just thinking about it freaks me out.

I hate it when body parts pop. And mine do, all the time. Cracking is ok, I don’t mind cracking fingers or toes. But actually popping, like knee sockets and hip sockets. Shoulder sockets. Eww. It’s disturbing.

Ever since I had Brynlee my hips pop when I move a certain way. Another souvenir from being pregnant? That and my bladder control is not what it used to be. Sometimes when I laugh too hard I piddle. Which is ok, when you are 9 months pregnant. Not so ok now when you not pregnant…

Anyhow there are certain moves we do in Pilates where my hips are popping all over the place. (side note: Yes, go me I’ve stuck with it for 8 weeks! 8! And I’m taking the class again. There can be miracles!) Last night, the lady on the mat next to me comes up to me after class and says “Wow your hips really pop”. I thought I was the only one who could hear them popping! Apparently my Pilates neighbors get to take in my joy of nasty pops all over the place. And it’s not like in Pilates you are right next to someone. You need space to swing limbs all around so the fact that she could hear me popping away. It was pretty embarrassing. What am I supposed to say to that? “Sorry yeah I know it’s gross and freakish. I blame the baby.”? She wasn’t being mean, she just seemed intrigued. I’m kind of intrigued too. If they pop like this after one kid, what will happen after the next? Are my legs going to just fall out of the sockets? Luckily this annoying popping only occurs in my Pilates class. I don’t usually fling limbs all over in every day life, so I can deal with it. Not that I have a choice. I can’t un pop on command. Unfortunately for my Pilates class mates apparently they are stuck with it too!

Countdown

2011-04-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

As Brynlee's 1st birthday looms closer and closer I find myself reflecting on this past year. It's strange, it seems like just yesterday I was so proud of her for rolling over. Now, like a little jack knife I lay her down in her bed and she pops right up. She recently learned how to stand in there. Oh boy now it's really down hill.

Because I see her everyday I don't see the way she changes all the time. But boy does she.

Here she is when she was just a few days old:

Here she is 2 months old in the hospital:

3 months old:

About 5 months old:

7 months old:

And now, enjoying some of my birthday cake:

She looks like a little person now! I keep getting pieces of mail referring to my toddler. Toddler? Where? I wonder how long I'll call her "baby" for. Jimmy, Robbie and I all call her "baby". Poor thing, as if she doesn't have a name. I fought for that name, tooth and nail. But here I am calling her "baby" too. It's not that I'm not excited for her to grow, it just goes so fast it's freaking me out a little bit. She is just about out of her 12 month clothes. I look at her newborn stuff and it seems like it was a lifetime ago when she fit into all that.

On a different topic, here are some other pictures. Since I only post pictures about every 50 posts or so I have to get them all in when I can! :)

Mitzie in her box. She sits in here while I work, keeping me company. Have I mentioned how much I love this cat? Well I do. LOVE her.

Happy Birthday to me! Thanks Mom for an amazing cake.

Getting ready to ride the horses.

Don't let go of the reigns!

Bath time fun. This kid could stay in here all day. Last summer I didn't feel comfortable bringing her in the pool because she was so small. This summer I'm ready for some fun in the sun! Based on how much she loves being in water it looks like she is too.

The Horse Experience

2011-04-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

This weekend Jimmy and I went horse back riding! Yay! I've always loved horses, ever since I was little. I've always been fascinated by them.

So, for my birthday I asked Jimmy to give me horseback riding. Ever grateful for suggestions, that's exactly what he did. Of course horse riding isn't very baby friendly. So Carla offered to watch Brynlee for me while we went.

My experience on horses has been limited. Limited to about 10 min or so when Audrey and her family so kindly let me ride their horse Mouse a few years ago when I was out there. I was a bit nervous (images of a paralyzed Christopher Reeves kept flashing though my head..) but really excited as well.

Jimmy... was not so excited. But he went along anyway, what a trooper. We drove to Malibu Canyon where all the ridiculously rich people live and found the ranch. It was $65 per person per hour (I know Audrey, close your mouth that I'm sure is currently wide open right now. People charge a lot of money to let you ride their horses out here!). We figured 1 hour would be plenty for us.

We were in a group of 5 people. The other 3 people were relatively in experienced as well. The instructor very quickly ran over how to mount the horse and how to make it go/stop/turn/back up, etc. How hard can it be right? Wrong! Very wrong!

As everyone was getting on their horses Jimmy's horse started backing him into a bush. And then started backing him into a trailer. His horse had some big time attitude. He would pull the reigns, and the horse would just back him even further into the bush.

It's very strange thing to ride something with a mind of its own. We are used to driving cars, where you press buttons and turn a wheel and the car does what you want. Horses on the other hand do what they want unless you very sternly tell them otherwise.

As we started towards the trail all the horses went left, and my horse went right to the water bucket. I pulled and pulled those reigns to the left and my horse just kept on going. I guess she was really thirsty? They told me not to let her drink too much, so I tried to yank up on her reigns to no avail.

With animals, we are used to being fragile with them, tender with them. It’s not like I would ever kick my cat! But then again my cat is not a huge 1000 lb beast I’m trying to ride. It's odd to have to be rough with horses. Finally I got her to stop drinking and away we went.

We started to get the hang of it after a few minutes. No more backing into bushes incidents. But there was a ton of tall grass and the instructor told us not to let the horses eat it. Well the horses had other ideas. When they put their heads down to eat, you were supposed to yank them up. Yeah, easier said than done. Jimmy's almost pulled him out of his saddle (such attitude!).

Between white knuckling my reigns, I did manage to get a few pictures (which are to follow next post). Sure enough when I took one hand off my reigns, my horse tried to eat some of the forbidden grass. Sneaky girl! She knew I couldn't pull her head up with just one hand.

I was really surprised at how much horse back riding hurt! After 1 hour, my butt was killing me. Not that I have a ton of cushion down there, but jeez. I'm still sore and it is 3 days later. It's crazy to think that was the main mode of transportation for a long time. I can't imagine riding a horse for days on end on a cattle drive or something.

I think at one point or another all 5 horses pooped. Yum! It was real pleasant when the horse in front of you went, and you got a front row view. Jimmy pulled his horse up next to mine, which you are not supposed to do. We were supposed to stay in line. Surprise, he broke the rules. Maybe that is why his horse was trying to shove him in a bush. Anyway, he pulled his horse up next to mine where it proceeded to pee a gallon of fluid for about 3 min. It peed so much it splashed up and got my shoes. Thanks hun!

By the end of the hour I felt like a seasoned pro. Ok not like a pro but I felt I had better control of my horse. And I had a ton of fun. I'm bummed that I can't do that again anytime soon. I need to make friends with people around here who have horses so I can go again!

A Different View

2011-04-08T14:29:00.000-07:00

I wonder if this getting older thing will ever set in. It's so strange how it doesn't happen over night, but one day you wake up and things are just different. You feel different, you look different. You think about things differently.

I remember when I was a teenager my parents always teased me about the guys I liked. They were always these tiny scrawny guys that looked more like little boys then almost men. I hated facial hair and chest hair, anything that made a guy look over 14. I spent more time that I'd like to admit waiting in line for stupid boy band concerts, and spent more money that I'd like to admit on stupid boy band CDs. I guess that is part of the whole teenage experience.

I look at Justin Bieber, and I try to understand. I try to make myself go back 12 years ago when I was 15 and see what all the fuss is about. His songs are catchy, and he apparently is a rags to riches story which I love. But his looks. He looks like a little lesbian to me, and that is all I see. Not that there is anything wrong with lesbians (little ones included), but I just don't get the big fuss. Don't get me started on the swirly hair. I think maybe in 20 years he will be good looking.

While I'm married, I'm still a woman so if I see an attractive man go by he will probably catch my eye for a second. If a hot blond walks by when I'm with Jimmy I usually ask him if she is pretty. Not because I'm jealous, I'm just curious. And he was probably looking anyway. I’m not blind or stupid. Most times the girls he thinks are hot I don’t, and the girls that I think are super pretty he doesn't. To each his own I guess? It’s so weird how differently we look at people as men and women.

Anyway, somewhere a long the line I started looking at old guys instead of young guys. Guys with gray hair, guys with chest hair, guys with laugh lines around their eyes. Guys in their 40's (Gerard Butler anyone?). It's odd. When did this happen? I guess I could never be a cougar. One, I'm married. Two, I just don't like younger guys anymore.

Maybe that is why I honestly think my husband is much better looking now than he was 5 years ago. Not that I don't think he was good looking then. But he has filled out a bit thanks to Bank of America, and his face looks older. I love it. He looks his best at 30 and I think it will only get better from here, lucky me!

I Guess I'm Not the Only One

2011-04-07T15:19:00.000-07:00

I married an extremely intelligent person. I keep waiting for him to make me a ton of money off that...ka ching! Still waiting though:)

I don't normally get to tease him about doing stupid things because he doesn't do very many of them. Me on the other hand, not so much. Yesterday he actually called me the most scatterbrained person he knows. Not sure I agree with that extreme, but I am pretty scatter brained. I lose my phone/shoes/purse/head about 10 times a day.

Anyhow when I went on my trip to Arizona a few weeks ago Jimmy picked us up at the airport. When we got home he had cleaned the entire house! He had done laundry and everything. I looked at my whites and noticed something was not right. They were all pink...Hmm. Jimmy decided it would be ok to wash a bright pink/purple top with a bunch of white stuff. Now we have a bunch of pink stuff. I wasn't going to rag on him about that since he had just cleaned the entire house. But I was curious. Wouldn't you think after 30 years of laundering he would know not to put something pink/purple in with whites?

I asked him why he did that, and he said it was because he though once you washed it a few times it didn't bleed anymore. I guess I can see why he would come to that assumption, even though it was not correct. After all can we use some more color in our lives? Pink socks are much more fun that white socks.

Last night he had me laughing so hard. We were catching up on our Jeopardy episodes, we are super behind. We always try to compete with each other, trying to shout out the answers before the other one says them.

Anyhow, the category was "Rhyme Time" (oh Jeopardy, you are so clever!). So the answers had to rhyme. The clue was something like " An item a hiker my carry". The conversation then went like this:

Jimmy: Fanny Pack!
Me: Back pack!
Jeopardy Contestant: Back pack
Me (at Jimmy): Hun, they have to rhyme, that is name of the category
Jimmy (in all seriousness): Fanny pack does kind of rhyme a little bit
Me: Fanny Pack? Rhyme? I think you need to look up the definition of rhyme

That kept me laughing all night long, and I'm still laughing about it now. I'm not sure why I thought it was so funny. Probably because he never says or does stuff like this, and I always do. It's nice to not be the only one! They say misery loves company, I guess stupidity does too!

Crossed Paths

2011-04-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't had too many jobs ( about 5 or so) in my life. I'm not a job jumper. I get a job, and I usually just stick it out. I like my job more so these days, but for a while there I despised it. And I did nothing about it. I don't like to get out of my comfort zone.

Interviewing is so nerve wracking! I'll be honest, I am a pretty good hire. Not to toot my own horn or anything. Ok well maybe I will just a little. Toot toot. :) I'm extremely dependable, I'm a hard worker, I get along with everyone and am good with customers. It may take me a while to learn things, but that is because I want to do a good job and am afraid of making mistakes!

But going on an interview is like trying to ask someone out. You put yourself out there, and hope that they want you. Many times, they don't. Even if you are a good hire. Lots of people are good hires. And that rejection sucks! Actually, since I got my first job, I've gotten every job I interviewed for. All 4 of them. But when I was 16 with no work experience, people basically laughed at me when I handed them my baron resume.

A lady I've worked fairly closely with for the past 4 years just retired. I'm happy for her, but I'm sad for me. I wonder if I'll ever see her again. Thinking about that is depressing. I walk my her empty work station and it's painful to look at.

I started making a mental tally of all the people I've worked with in my life. When you are young, working part time with other teens the turnover rate is pretty high. But I've met some amazing people who have left lasting impressions. You spend a ton of time with some of these people, and then you or they leave that job and you never hear from them again. Thanks to modern wonders like facebook you can reconnect with some and see where they are in life.

I think they should have job reunions like they do high school ones every 10 years or so!

I miss a lot of my co workers, but I'm lucky to have some great ones now. I think about how many people I've crossed paths with in life and it blows my mind. I need to be better and keeping in touch with people, because I'm really bad at that. That will be my goal for the week.

PS, I'm dressed and showered today. And it's not even 3pm. Woo hoo! :)

Reality Check

2011-04-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

This weekend was an interesting one. Brynlee was healthy for about 4 days, and then on Wednesday night she threw up on me. Again. Garden vegetables this time. Yum! I was naturally home alone, so I had to try to get her cleaned up and into the bath and get myself cleaned up as well. It was fun.

On Thursday she woke up with a fever. Not a bad one, but a small fever. She is cutting a tooth (can see and feel it popping up) so I thought maybe that was why and I sent her to daycare.

Day care called at noon that day and had me come get her because she threw up again. Ugh. Is this kid ever healthy? Her fever had gone up to around 103, so I started to get concerned. I made her a Dr appt for the next morning and had Jimmy take her. My good friend Dr Bean, he misses us if we don't see him every other week. They checked her for a UTI (which she was oh so thrilled about Jimmy said) but that was negative so they told us to just wait it out.

On Saturday morning her fever broke. Yay! On Saturday night she came down with a rash. On Sunday the rash was still there. Ok so she was healthy for like 6 hours before the next thing hit? I'm not sure if it's something she ate or if it's her bedding or what. I stopped washing her clothes in baby detergent a while ago and she has been fine. But her rash seemed to worsen when she was sleeping, which made me think it was something on her sheets. But the rash was just on her face and chest, not on her legs where I'd think it would be if it was something on her clothes.

Sunday I sat feeling pretty discouraged. It feels like we recover from one thing just to be hit with another and I'm so tired of it. I can't even imagine throwing more kids into the mix, bringing with them more illnesses as well.

I watched General Conference Sunday morning 1/2 paying attention. I kept racking my brain trying to figure out what was causing this rash. The first sessions of General Conference ended, and there was a program on during the break before the second session started.

The show was about this program called Eagle Eyes that a guy in Boston created to help physically handicapped kids communicate using their eyes. It was absolutely amazing. They hooked these sensors up around their eyes and using those sensors the kids could actually communicate via the computer. They could play games, and write sentences and answer questions. It proved that these physically handicapped people are not just vegetables. They are actually smart, thinking problem solving people. They are just stuck in bodies that don't work correctly.

One of the kids on the program was handicapped as a result of having bacterial meningitis when he was a baby. This boy had been born perfectly healthy. Now, he cannot leave his wheelchair. He cannot speak to people, communicate with them his hopes/fears/desires/dreams except via this computer program.

I felt like I was hit by a tidal wave. I started crying uncontrollably, and could not stop. This poor boy had the exact same thing happen to him that Brynlee had happen to her. I'm sure his mother would love for her biggest worry in life to be that he had a un identified rash.

I know you cannot live your life thinking of what ifs. But I did. What if I had not gotten Brynlee to the Dr in time? What if the Dr had not aired on the side of caution and decided to admit her to the hospital just in case? What if I had decided not to let them do the spinal tap?

I still haven't googled bacterial meningitis, because honestly I don't think I could handle it. I don't want to know. But here this show was, shoving in my face how completely selfish I was for being so upset about a rash. And being thrown up on. A rash?! It seems like a joke now.

To be honest I was a little distracted during the actual conference talks. But that show about Eagle Eyes Project changed me profoundly. I need to remember how lucky I am that Brynlee is healthy (for the most part) and happy.

I will continue to call/email my Dr all the time when something is off. People have teased me about this, but they can tease away. If I wasn't over cautious I might not have a baby to take care of right now. Better safe than sorry is what I say! I think I should send Dr Bean a present for being so nice to me even though I bug him all the time. He never makes me feel like I'm overreacting, or inconveniencing him. To me, he is worth his weight in gold!

Welcome Back, Old Friend

2011-03-31T10:56:00.000-07:00

It's crazy how a baby makes you forget things. Normally I have marked this day on my calendar back in November. A beacon of light to get me though a long, semi cold (by California standards), monotonous winter. This year it completely slipped my mind.

Where have my manners gone? I've completely forgotten that one of my oldest friends is coming back for a 6 month visit.

Ok I'm not talking about a person. I'm talking about baseball! Yay! And today is opening day. Woo! I love opening day. It's like the beginning of a new calendar year. When anything is possible, and everyone has a clean slate. All the woes of last year have been wiped away, and the World Series seems within grasp again.

As much as I love baseball, I love even more what it means. Spring is here. As I right this now it's nice and warm out, I'm in shorts and the gardener is mowing lawns. It smells like fresh cut grass and I love it.

One of my very favorite things to do is taking a nap on Sunday, while a baseball game is going on in the background. I know it seems odd that if I love baseball that much I would choose to nap through it. But it's how I grew up. On Sundays there was always a game on in my house, and after church I'd come home and take a nap with the baseball announcers voice lulling me to sleep.

My favorite baseball snack is slices of Monterey jack cheese. Also courtesy of my parents and how I grew up. I love that cheese! And it's perfect to munch on while enjoying a lazy day and a 3 hour ball game.

I didn't make it to too many games last year, due to a bundle of joy who will remain nameless. Unfortunately I think this year may be the same situation. I'm not sure how much fun it would be to bring a 1 year old to ballgame and try to entertain them for 3 hours. But that's ok. Sometimes games are just as fun to watch at home, especially when you are in the comfort of a nice air conditioned house and not the 100 degree baking sun.

I think this season is going to be a great one, I've got a good feeling about it. Welcome back old friend, I've missed you!

Senior Moments

2011-03-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

Age is a funny thing. I find myself not being able to remember stuff the way I used to. I'll reminisce about years passed with friends and they are telling me I did/said stuff I have NO recollection of. I didn't used to be that way. Can I blame residual pregnancy brain? I'm going to anyway, even if modern medicine says no.

My mother in law gave me a handy glue gun in a handy carrying case (much like a glue gun brief case. Yes it's that fancy!). I used it to glue something my lovely cat destroyed the other day. As I was trying to fit the glue gun back in it's case it would not fit. I kept trying. And trying. And trying. The worst part about it is that I knew I was doing something wrong. I knew it shouldn't be that hard to get it to fit. But I couldn't figure it out.

Finally, after about 15 min of struggling (I'm not exaggerating here)I flipped the glue gun over and it fit right in. Hmmm... why did it take me 15 min to figure that out? Maybe it's not age. Maybe it's just an idiot attack.

Today, I went to check the mail. In our condos, if you get a package they put it in a locked box. Then, they leave the key to the box in your mail box so you can open it. Today we got a package. Yay!!! I love getting packages. 99% of the time they are not mine, but still.

So I tried to open this locked box. And tried. And tried. Key in hole. Key in hole? Not rocket science right? Wrong. I kept trying. And it kept not opening. I'm smarter than the box. Yet the box is outsmarting me. There was another box sitting there that someone had already opened (once you put your key in the box and open it you can't get the key back, the post man has to pick it up)that I kept looking at to try to figure out what I was doing wrong. I was getting angry. I wanted my package, and this devil box was trying to take it from me! I might have even kicked at the box a little bit. Finally, a light went off. Ding! I had the key in the wrong hole. It wasn't actually the key hole. Don't ask me how I managed that one. Especially with the other box sitting there, the key in place not in the hole I'd been trying to shove my key in for 10 min.

Wow did I feel stupid. I looked around and thank goodness no one was watching me. I think. If they were, they were laughing at me from the comfort of their homes.

But I walked back to my house wondering what is wrong with me. I kind of reminded myself of Brynlee, when she tries to do something and it doesn't work. She just keeps trying until she gets frustrated at it and starts screaming. I wanted to scream at that stupid box. I just hit it instead :)

If I'm already having these senior moments I'm going to be in trouble later on in life!

PS the package was for Robbie. Go figure. All that fighting with the box and it wasn't even my package!

Traveling Ladies

2011-03-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Brynlee and I had the opportunity to go visit some friends in Arizona this week. Her day care was closed for a few days, so I thought it would be a perfect time to go on a trip. It was nice to get a way for a while.

I had a wonderful birthday. Some clients were not very nice to me at work, but oh well. What can you do? I wanted to tell them "It's my birthday, stop being mean to me", but that is not very professional.

Otherwise the day was perfect. Brynlee sent me flowers (whew she is advanced! :) ) and Jimmy took me to dinner. We are going horseback riding in a few weeks, and then after that I'm getting a massage and facial courtesy of my wonderful brother in law Robbie. Not too bad! I made out like a bandit. My lovely parents gave me some cash for my trip, which was very much needed.

The next morning bright and early Brynlee and I set off for Arizona. Jimmy and I flew with her back in November, but she was younger then and there was two of us. Now she is wiggly and all over the place and it was just me taking care of her. Even though the flight was only a little over 1 hour, I knew it was going to be a long one!

I hoped since our flight was super early there would be an empty seat. No doubt that empty seat would be next to me, because no one chooses to sit by a baby. And who can blame them? But the flight was full. Brynlee had a good time stealing my neighbors bags of peanuts, and throwing toys at her the whole time. Good thing my neighbor was a good sport!

After that it was a couple of days packed with girl talk, girl time and baby interaction. I stayed with my friend Megan who has a baby Brynlee's age. And we hung out with her sister Shelley who has a baby about Brynlee's age. And then we hung out with my friend Julie who has a baby Brynlee's age. At one point we all went to the park. 4 girls, with 4 baby girls ( and a few other toddlers mixed in). It was SO much fun to see all the babies interact with each other.

I remember thinking when I was younger how all babies looked alike and how they all did the same thing. WRONG. These 4 babies all looked completely different, and all had personalities of their own. Surprise Brynlee was crawling away from the group the whole time, and I had to go keep grabbing her. I think I'm going to be chasing her for the rest of my life, she is definitely an independent lady!

We took Brynlee to the zoo for the first time while we were out there. She was more interested in the plants and rocks than animals, but we had a good time. Brynlee even got a little tan, after several applications of SPF 45 baby sunblock. I guess that is the AZ sun for you!

I knew the flight home would be a long one, because I was tired. Tired of taking care of a baby by myself ( I'm not a single mom for a reason...) and tired of not being home with my own stuff. But the flight home went well too. No crying, just lots of wiggling. The TSA security man even hit on me ( which never ever happens, especially with a baby and wedding ring). So that made my day!

While Brynlee was an exceptional traveler, I don't think I could make it on more than a 1 hour flight. She is too all over the place, by the time the plane is landing I was ready to GET OFF! And to get her off my lap. I looked around at all the other passengers reading their books. Mean while Brynlee is throwing lucky charms on the floor and trying to wiggle out of my lap to pick them up. And trying to chew on my seat, and everything else within her grasp. I was jealous of the book readers. Just a little bit.

Tomorrow is back to our routine, work included (bleh) but I had a great birthday and a wonderful trip. Thanks AZ friends for showing Brynlee and I a good time!

I'd post some pictures, but I didn't take one. Surprise! I'm really bad at that. If only I had a nicer camera I'd take more pictures... :)

Reflection

2011-03-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

This is my last post as a 26 year old! Tomorrow, I turn 27 and am officially in my mind in my late 30's. I kept thinking today about how different my life is from this time last year.

Mainly due to one thing. My crazy little baby. They say having a baby is a lot of work. But you don't really know that until you know. You know? :) I think about how much I've matured in the past year. I think in all my life this has been the most drastic year. I've realized how important some things are, like health. Because we were all sick this weekend. Again. Curse you day care!

But I've also learned that there are many things that are just not important. And life is too short to let them bother me. Putting that into practice is another story. It's hard to un learn 26 soon to be 27 years of habit. But at least now I recognize the need.

As I look at my life at 27 it's not exactly what I pictured. But it's pretty close. I have a job and a husband and a baby and a cat. We all share 1 room (ok didn't picture that...). What more could I ask for really? Besides an additional room in which to put baby... and cat... and sometimes husband? I'm pretty happy with the way things are going and don't have much room to complain.

I look in the mirror and see some bags under my eyes that didn't used to be there 5 years ago. But they are well earned. They give me character? Ok that part of getting older does suck. But what can you do? I don't physically look the way I'd like to, but I'm getting there. Slowly but surely. Thanks to a rather large baby and pilates I actually have some biceps now! They are not huge, but they are the largest I've ever had.

I think 27 is going to be great, and am excited to get it started.

With my birthday tomorrow Brynlee turns 10 months. When she was born I remember thinking how funny it is that her birthday is May 22 and mine is March 22. Like someone was trying to make it easy for my husband to remember our birthdays and keep them straight.

She is 20lbs and I think 30 inches. Her 12 month pants are beginning to look like capris rather than pants. And her baby Buddha belly is hanging out of some of her 12 month shirts. She is just big. I got her some 12 month summer outfits a while ago, stupidly thinking she could wear them when she was actually 12 months. Next heat wave we get I'm shoving her into 3 outfits per day so at least she can wear them all once!

Let's Roll

2011-03-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

My newish goal is to workout 3 times a week. I take pilates twice a week (rocker board DID not work out, I'm debating on posting on that catastrophe later) so I'm just taking pilates twice instead. I decided my third day during the week I will do what I like to call "fun fitness". Meaning I do something I actually enjoy rather than wanting to die, even if it's not the best exercise.

Last week I walked to the park. I love walking. I wish I had a dog to walk sometimes. Not that I want a dog. But just one to walk, not actually take care of. This week I decided I would rollerblade. I love rollerblading. I'm not sure why/when it became so un cool, but when I was in Jr High/High School I would not have been caught dead rollerblading. Now that I'm at the ripe old age of 27 (almost) I don't really care if it's cool or not. I think it's fun and I'm going to do it.

So I dropped Brynlee off at day care and went to the park to rollerblade a bit. While I enjoy rollerblading, I do suck at it. I can't stop really well. I have to either roll onto the grass, or grab a telephone pole or street light or something to stop. That is why I can't rollerblade in my neighborhood. Too many hills. I'd die!

I’m sure I looked a little out of control (like I said, I'm not very good at it). I should probably invest in a helmet and knee pads too if I'm going to do this regularly. I didn't fall one time though! I did stumble quite a bit. And I did have to roll full speed into a telephone pole to stop once too. I even got chased a little by someone's dog...that part was not so much fun. Especially since I am not the most agile on those things. Luckily his owner got him under control!

I'll have to work on my stopping technique because it really is flawed. If there are no poles or grass I'm in trouble! A woman out of control!

I think I might hit up the batting cages next week. I like it there too. And suck at that as well (surprise!). I consider it a success if I make contact with the ball, no matter how far it goes. If anyone has any other suggestions for FUN things to do ( I don't want to hear about running being fun you nuts out there!) that are exercise as well I'm all ears!

The Sunny Side

2011-03-15T15:03:00.000-07:00

Brynlee has learned some new tricks. It’s amazing how fast she is growing and changing. I look at her while she is sleeping sometimes and she looks like a little girl, not just a baby. For right now, I don't mind her growing and time passing because each new phase of her life brings new adventures.

I'm sure with my next one I'll be more sad to see the younger phases go. I do miss the days when I would lay her on me and she would cuddle. I guess really because she wasn't strong enough to move yet. At the time, I remember being irritated that she was disrupting my sleep because I had to hold her. Now I wish she would let me.

And she did just that last night. Ok so it was at 4am, after one of the worst nights she has had sleep wise she has had. She woke up every 2 hours last night. And I'm not exaggerating here. I think it must be teeth, since that is so unlike her. She loves her sleep just like her Mama! Anyhow, at one point she was so tired she let me hold her and rock her back to sleep. She didn't fight me, she didn't push me away. She wasn't trying to crawl after something. It was great! She NEVER lets me do that anymore.

Mitzie has learned to earn her keep a little bit around the house. Kind of. She basically runs around, and the baby chases after her. If I close my bedroom door Mitzie can't hide under my bed, so she is forced to entertain the baby. And she does. Is that animal cruelty? I almost think Mitzie enjoys it. If she didn’t she could hide upstairs undisturbed. Brynlee could just keep chasing her for hours.

Brynlee has learned that if I'm trying to feed her something that she doesn't want, she can gag and I will stop. Ok that's not entirely true. She used to gag and I'd try to feed right past it. Now she gags and then throws up on me. I've never seen such a gag reflex in my life. Easy gag reflexes do run in my family, but not like this one. I guess she got tired of me trying to shove food down her throat so now to avoid that she just pukes on me. I have learned my lesson. Now when I feed her I hold her bottle/spoon tentatively, to see how she will respond. If she starts to gag I run away. I'm thinking about getting a smock that I can feed her in. That way if she throws up at least it won't get all over me as it usually does.

Brynlee has found her voice. A very squealy high pitched one. She uses this voice at liberty. Sometimes it's late at night, sometimes it's early in the morning. Sometimes it's in the middle of church when the room is dead quiet. She warrants quite a few stares when this very loud voice comes out. I think that is why she does it. She is smart and knows how to get attention when she wants it.

She has learned what she is not supposed to have and where she is not supposed to go. Or maybe she hasn't. These are always the things she crawls to first. She has gotten pretty quick at crawling. It's funny to see the tops of her feet or socks all dirty at night from crawling all over the place.

Some of these things can be frustrating at times. I'm really really tired of getting puked on. Really. I got puked on this morning at 3am. I had to take a deep breath and count backwards from 10 for that one.

But I'm also really enjoying watching my baby grow. When I lie or sit on the ground she comes crawling over and crawls all over me like a Mommy jungle gym. She doesn't say Mama yet. She says Dada (of course). When she says "Dada" I say "Mama" back to her. She looks at me and then says "eh". Ok I guess you can call me "Eh" for now. There are worse things.

She is a lot of work, but on the sunny side of things she is a ton of fun too. I'm trying to focus on relishing the good things and not dwelling on the tough stuff (ie puke and no sleep). When it comes to babies they go hand and hand. I'm super excited for Brynlee and I to go on our first trip together next week. Mommy/Daughter travel time should be fun (or a complete disaster, I'm sure I'll blog about that experience later!).

Voice of Reason

2011-03-13T16:38:00.000-07:00

I had an epiphany today. Or I guess Jimmy helped me to have an epiphany. I consider myself a reasonable person. I believe that there is nothing a good talk (and perhaps some chocolate) can't solve. I hope for world peace one day, and really do hope for it. I'm not just saying that because you are supposed to. I consider myself a Repubicrat. I've coined that term recently. There are values from each political party that hold near and dear to my heart, and I can't be restricted to vote a certain way just because the political party I'm associated with votes that way.

I try to reason with everyone. Honestly I think if everyone could just take the time to understand each other, we would all get along better. If someone says something I don't agree with, I don't fly off the handle at them. I try to explain my point of view, and try to understand why they feel they way they do.

I came home from Church today completely defeated and in tears. While my seating chart did help the class from talking as much, somehow during my lesson political jokes and racist comments started being said. I quickly tried to reign everyone back in, but by that point I felt like the spirit was so far gone it couldn't even find its way back if it wanted to. In short, I failed. Again. After all the effort I've put into trying to succeed in teaching my class something substantial this week, I felt horrible.

I was more horrified at what certain kids said. Really? I'm fairly confident that these children do not hear this kind of talk from their parents. At least I hope. And pray. All we need are more bigots in the world. I think that scared me the most. I couldn't let those kids leave my class thinking it was ok to say stuff like that.

I went over what happened with Jimmy later and he asked me why I even let those topics creep into the lesson in the first place. I explained that I was trying to explain to the kids why what they were saying was not right, and not acceptable. Basically I was trying to reason with them. Jimmy told me that was my 1st problem. Trying to reason with 13 year olds. Hmmm...

He has a good point. I was trying to reason with them. But how can they reason when they have no idea what they are talking about. I forget sometimes that they are only 13 and don't have the knowledge and life experience that I've gained in my 26 soon to be 27 years.

I still find myself trying to reason with Brynlee. It never works out. Hmmm. Peculiar. Maybe I'm too big on reasoning with people. Some people, ie 10 month old infants cannot be reasoned with. And I think to some degree 13 year olds can't either.

I've tried to run my class in a way that if the kids had something they wanted to discuss even if it was slightly off topic we could discuss it. I wanted to keep the class open, so everyone could share what was on their mind. I'm done with that now. My seating chart worked out pretty well ( in that the talking was minimal). Next week if anyone starts to get off topic I will cut them off and guide us back to the topic at hand. Unless the topic they are trying to discuss is worthy of discussing.

Maybe my class isn't that bad. Maybe it's just that I was trying to teach it like I was teaching my peers, as opposed to teenagers. They are 1/2 my age after all. So in this case, " it's not you its me" really does ring true. Rather than trying to change what they do, I'll change what I do and see how it goes. Using a little candy as an incentive won't hurt either!

Patience is a Virtue

2011-03-09T12:14:00.000-08:00

This week marks the 5th week in a row that I have been to Kaiser. They said next time they will award me my own parking spot. Yay! At least that's something. Thank goodness we got new insurance this year with a lower co pay because we are certainly using it.

Brynlee got the stomach flu on Monday, and the poor thing could not keep anything down. Even Pedialyte was coming right back up, and it got really scary. Yesterday morning when I woke her up (1st red flag there, I had to wake her up) she was so tired, had no energy and had a completely dry diaper from the night before. I got her to keep some Pedialyte down, but brought her to the Dr just in case. My good friend Dr. Bean. He is so nice to me, even though I'm probably his most frequent patient. I had just seen him 2 weeks ago when Brynlee had a nagging wet cough that she couldn't kick for like a week. Flu season with a baby is fun! And this is only 1 kid. I can't imagine when there are more.

So, between my sinus infection from Hell and Brynlee's illnesses I've been to Kaiser way more than I ever wanted to. Brynlee seems to be on the up swing and is slowly regaining her strength. It seems like as soon as one person gets better, another person in the house is sick. Trying to remember a time when we were all healthy is like trying to remember a different lifetime!

I teach Sunday school at church, to 12-13 year olds. And there are about 13 of them. Yeah. I used to consider myself a very patient person. I'm not so sure now. I'm starting to wonder why it's illegal to beat kids. That whole paddling thing doesn't seem like such a bad idea anymore. Just kidding, they are not THAT bad. But they are bad. And it's really frustrating. This week I'm going to try to assign them seats and see if that helps. I went through and ranked each kid on level of disruptions, 1 being not bad and 3 being the devil. I then made a seat chart where the 3's sit by 1's. If that doesn't work, I'm going to drag Jimmy in there to regulate. If that doesn't work, I'll march into the other rooms and grab the parents out. Yes I certainly will. I'm to that point.

I hate having to do that. I hate having to go get help from my husband to keep these kids under control. But at this point I'm not sure what else to do. I think the fact that I have not been feeling the best until just recently is not helping. It's not that they are not good kids, there are just a ton of them and 1 of me. And they all start spazzing out with excess energy and it gets ugly. And they will not be quiet, not matter how many times (like 50) I have to tell them. I think Jr. High teachers deserve a raise, all of them!

These past few weeks have been a patience tester for sure. And I'm sorry to say I've lost it a time or two. So, this week my goal is to be more patient. We'll see how long that lasts!

That's a First

2011-03-05T21:13:00.000-08:00

I remember when I was a teenager how scared I was to do anything alone. Take classes alone, go to the store alone. It's like when you are young being alone has a stigma with it. You are considered a loser because you don't have any friends with you.

I grew out of that though, and soon began to relish in my alone time. I go to movies alone, I dine alone, I shop alone. You name it, I pretty much do it alone. Sometimes I do get lonely while I'm out and about. I think about how nice it would be to have a friend to run basic errands with. But people seem to be busier than they used to be. Or maybe when you get older you get busier. I'm not sure. Either way, I'm proud of my aloneness. I'm proud that I don't fear being seen without a companion anymore.

So, in light of my independence I decided to sign up for fitness classes alone. I signed up for a Pilates class and a rocker board class. Not sure what rocker board is, but it fit in my schedule so there you go.

This past Tuesday night was my first night of Pilates. Unlike going to a movie or dining alone, the idea of taking a fitness class alone made me really nervous. I think it's because I just suck at working out. I really do. I'm terrible at it. I’m not athletic in the least. It's not a matter of worrying if I'll look stupid, but really when and how long I'll look stupid for. It's not a question, it's a given.

But there I stood outside my Pilates room, rolled mat and water in hand. Even though it was the 1st day of class everyone else seemed to know each other. Great. And everyone seemed to know the teacher because they'd all taken a class with her before. Even better. All day long Tuesday I had butterflies in my stomach. I've actually taken a Pilates class before, but it was 7 years ago and I was terrible at it. I hated every minute of it, and I ended up dropping it midway though because I thought it was the devil. I guess this time around I was hoping time and wisdom would have enhanced my Pilates skills.

The teacher was really nice and introduced herself to me. She asked me what I did to work out. She assumed I was a dancer. Ha. Yes, I am a dancer if you call me rocking out to my video game being a "dancer". It's funny that she guessed that, I'm actually auditioning to be in a rap video next week. Wish me luck! (I guess via reading you can't hear my tone which is complete and utter sarcasm. I'm a white girl, and I dance like one 110%)

Anyway I told her did a whole lot of nothing and she told me to just take the class slow and not feel bad if I couldn't keep up. Which made me feel better. I'm not sure why. The hour passed. And to be completely honest I felt pretty darn good. I did keep up. Yes I was dying inside and out through most of it, but I pushed that aside and kept thinking "If this old lady next to me can do this, I can do this." And I did. And it felt wonderful. I'm not sure why. You aren't likely to hear me say that about exercising ever. But I really loved every minute of it.

After the class the teacher came up to me and said I did a great job. Yes someone used the great as a term describing my skill at an exercise. That has never once happened in my life. I left the class feeling excited, tired, and sore already. But I was smiling the whole way home and could not wait to tell Jimmy about how my class went. Even if my teacher was just saying that to me to make me feel better, it worked. I can't wait until next Thursday.

Rocker board starts Tuesday. I'm assuming I probably will not be "great" at that one. But you never know! :)

Run Mitzie Run

2011-02-26T13:01:00.000-08:00

We've entered what I'm calling the dark ages of babies. Brynlee is officially crawling, and she has got one thing on her mind. Mitzie. That poor cat. Mitzie runs, Brynlee follows. And so it goes. I'm sure Brynlee will end up with a few swats before she realizes that Mitzie does not want to play. Not right now anyway.

In my defense, we brought Mitzie home and the next week I found out I was pregnant. If I'd known I was pregnant before hand, I probably would not have gotten a cat. But I'm glad I did because I love her!

Brynlee is all over the place now. I knew it was coming, I guess I'm lucky that it took 9 months to get to this point. She has become quite a pain in the butt eating wise as well. If she doesn't want what I'm trying to feed her she pushes my hand out of the way and flashes the baby tude. I'm not a fan of that tude.

My friend has a 4 week old baby and I just saw her last week. It all felt foreign to me. The baby let me hold her, and she didn't push me away! The baby stared up at my happily as I rocked her to sleep in my arms. She snoozed away as I held her. Hmmm... Was Brynlee ever like this? It's hard to remember. Because now when I try to hold her she pushes me away. If I try to rock her she yells at me and pushes me away. If I try to hug her she pushes me away and pulls my hair. She just pushes basically.

And so the dark ages have begun. Ok I'm being a bit dramatic. There are plenty of fun parts about this age too. But I'm already missing a few months ago when I could put her down somewhere and she would just sit there. And when I gave her a bottle and she was happy as a clam.

I never realized how dirty my floor was until Brynlee started crawling and now finds all sorts of goodies on it. Yesterday she was trying to eat a tuft of cat hair. I guess I'll be vacuuming more often now.

She was the entertainment at church. She crawled all over, sucked on my chair leg for 10 min and ripped everything out of the diaper bag and threw it everywhere. She is now like baby Godzilla, wreaking havoc on everything in her path. But she remains just as cute as ever. I'm sure babies were designed that way, otherwise she'd be on the neighbor's doorstep by now.

Mitzie runs and hides under my bed from this baby terror, and I don't blame her. Sometimes I want to run and hide under my bed from her too! :)

Offbeat Pick

2011-02-24T09:16:00.000-08:00

Jimmy and I used to have the Netflix where we got 2 movies at 1 time. But a while ago when we were trying to tighten our spending we cut it down to 1 at 1 time. The 2 at 1 time thing worked out well for us because our movie tastes are NOT very similar. Sure we have some movies that we both want to see and both really enjoyed, but for the most part he wants to rent one thing and I want to rent something totally different.

And so began the Netflix struggle. I'll pick movies and have them set to come, and then some Sci Fi piece of crap comes instead. Curses, he got me again! Not that I don't do the same to him. I'm a bit more adventurous with my picks though. There have been a few that we got that were just really strange. But some others like the one we watched last night that I really enjoyed.

On Feb 2nd the movie "My Name is Khan" came in the mail. Yes that was 22 days ago. It took us 22 days to watch that movie. I guess we didn't save any money using Netflix this month! Anyhow, Jimmy has been dragging his feet to watch this one. In fact he told me to just watch it by myself... Since I had a couple of good books any free time I had was spent reading rather than watching. But last night with nothing else to get in the way we watched it, Jimmy begrudgingly.

As a side note, last month we got the movie "My Life in Ruins" that was my pick. We sat down to watch it and within 20 min I was fast asleep and Jimmy ended up watching it by himself. So I guess I don't blame him for wanting to pick the movies once in a while...

Anyhow back to "My Name is Khan". I'm not sure how I even found that on there. You take a survey and they suggest movies for you, and they suggested that one. The premise is about a Muslim man with Asperger Syndrome living in America. After 9/11 his wife leaves him because she cannot handle the persecution she and her family are put though because she is married to a Muslim man. His love for her un wavering, he crosses the country a few times over trying to win her back and meeting people along the way.

It was 3 hours long, which is a bit lengthy. I'm not good past 2 hours, so 3 is rough for me. But I really enjoyed this movie, and it kept me up thinking last night and still has me thinking today. I would highly recommend it if you are looking for an enlightening movie, that will make you think twice before you judge people based on appearance or religion.

Jimmy enjoyed it as well (Ha! I win) and I feel like I came away from watching it a bit more tolerant for people than I used to be ( not that I wasn't before, but I'm even more so now).

If you are going to watch it, you might Google Asperger's Syndrome because the movie does not give a great explanation of what exactly that is. It is technically a foreign film, so there are a fare of amount of subtitles as well (which I like because my hearing sucks).

Anyhow, if you are looking for a movie with a message I recommend this one and give it 2 thumbs up!

One by One, or all at Once?

2011-02-22T16:54:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite cubie buddies at work gave me a new series of books to read. This one is called "Fallen". I had no idea what it was about, but I dug right it. At first it was slow moving, but then it started picking up speed and I found myself burning through the 1st book. For those of you with kids who wonder where I find time to read, I'll tell you. I make time.

I usually get in bed at 9pm every night after Brynlee is asleep and read for an hour or so. Are there other things I should be doing? Of course. There is cleaning, organizing, folding, exercising to be done. But I shelve that all so I can read. And I look forward to that moment when I get to crawl into my dreamy bed and pick up my book all day long.

Anyhow, I burned through the first book of the "Fallen" series, went through the second book even faster and am now left waiting for the third book in the series to come out this Summer. As I put down the 2nd book and thought about how far away summer time seems I realized this is not a new feeling. It seems to be the new trend these days. Write books in volumes and release them every few years to keep readers anxiously hanging on. I hate it!

I used to consider myself a patient person, but I'm not so sure anymore. I find myself growing much more impatient these days. I think it's those Cuillards I live with rubbing off on me.

I went through this with Harry Potter, Vampire Academy and the Hunger Games books. It seems like the one series I did not do that with is the Twilight series, because I waited until those were all released and then cranked out all 4 in 5 days. I'm starting to think that was the way to go. I should just wait until a book series is completely released before I start them. Then, I don't have to end with no resolution and be left watching my calendar for the next one to come out.

The flip side of this is how exciting it is to have the next book in a series show up on my doorstep, after I've pre ordered it off Amazon months earlier. It's like Christmas popping up, right when I need it most.

Hmm...I guess there is good and bad either way. Other readers, what do you do? I'm curious. Because now I've got 5 months to stew on what will happen in this book and I don't like it!